Flower Unnoticed

Hey there.
I really enjoyed reading this poem, it’s short but still amazing. When I was reading this I felt the sense of hopelessness the author portrayed in this poem. It amazes me when poems can make you feel an emotion, usually when I read poems I just read them, but there’s always the few that actually make me feel the emotion, and this was one of those. You are so talented and this poem s amazing.
Keep up the great work ml <3
Mwah Mwah!
-STARRYY

Black buzzy bees interests me, because it feels like in a world where hidden beauty is unnoticed, prompting those who possess it to want to stand out like "a star so bright", what actually notices their beauty are creatures of small size; the bees. And it seems to me like the message of the poem actually is this; you don't need the world's validation to be noticed. You just need someone to care. I also like how you described the bees as being "black"; it fits the gloomy imagery you use to describe the world, as being a "jungle", suggesting that even those who notice you are still part of that malicious system. Apologies if I read too deeply into this, hehe, but enjoyed it loads.

This poem feels like someone trying to glow in a place that keeps dimming them. The mix of darkness and small, stubborn beauty really hits—like that lotus image, soft but surviving anyway. The ending with the bees sticks with me; it’s a little eerie but also kind of true to life. Sometimes the only ones who notice you aren’t the ones you hoped for. It’s a short piece, but it leaves a quiet ache behind.

Hi! Great work! firstly, I like the words you find at the end of sentences! not only do they rhyme, something not seen as often in poems nowadays, they're all very vivid, a property that fits well into a poem! Also, you do well with the punctuation. adding things like dashes, commas, and periods add a filling to the poem, making it feel more complex, even if it's shorter in word count. I have no constructive criticism for you, so good job on that! all in all, great poem! Keep writing, and welcome to YWS!

I really liked this poem. You used a lot of rhymes which kind of felt like a song. I also read your short description for the poem. You talked about how honesty is rare in a world full of corruption and lies. I could really see that being emphasized in this poem.

For example:

''In a world of greed, in endless night,''
and

''In jungles corrupt, an unnoticed flower,''

''In jungles corrupt'' which I think is referring to the society that we are in, and the unnoticed flower is a group of people who tell no lies.

This is such a great poem, and the meaning behind it is deep, and certainly relatable. Very good job, and never stop writing!

-xoxo, lovelydove

This poem hits hard with its contrast between darkness and hidden beauty. The imagery of “black shadows,” “unnoticed flower,” and “lotus in the mud” creates a strong emotional pull. It shows how someone can feel lost in a corrupt world yet still carry their own light. The ending with the “black buzzy bees” noticing what others ignore is a clever touch.
The rhythm is simple but effective, and the theme of being unseen yet still shining comes through clearly. With a little polish on line flow, this could be an even stronger piece, but the raw honesty is what makes it stand out.