Life Musings

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I like to begin how this is inspirational to everyone who reads this since when life is hard and bumpy but that is progress into whatever you might what to in life whether it is something amazing or something that you think is boring, won't make it anywhere in life, this poem could relate.

There is nothing wrong with this poem since this poem could speak to anyone, who has been in a bad place all their life or needs some help doing what they need to do in life.

Instead of pointing out the bad things in this poem (which there is none) I am going to point out the good things about this poem:

People walk in and out of your life more frequently than the moon waxes and wanes This stanza shows a great comparison using a metaphor. I really enjoy poems that do that and mostly my favorite.

Life is not measured by the breaths you take I feel like i heard this from somewhere before (I think my mum said it to me before) and you put into this poem.

This whole poem could be written by a professional (which you are one), and i do hope you continue writing.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

Hello there~ Happy Review Day! Oh, and welcome to the site ^_^ I'm here to review on this work.
First of all, wow. Everytime I go on poetry, I make sure I read it aloud...and, have your read it aloud? It was one of the most powerful poems I've ever read! Despite being a new member, you are surely one experienced with writing.

Every single line was so full of emotion, and so full of meaning. It was all so well thought out, and so sincere and honest. It really pierces the reader by how truthful it was.
The motivation in it was immense, as well. It lightened my spirits. How you described that life is not only about us, how we shouldn't take life for granted, how life is a gift. This was a true masterpiece.

Usually, I would write down which part of the poem was my favorite, but this is one of the first works in which I am speechless. I enjoyed every part, which one could be my favourite part? Possibly everything!

I just loved how it ended, too. This is a beautiful work. Hope you make it to the Spotlight!

~Brunnera

Hello, Chips here with a review.

I liked how wise this piece was, it showed that the character was speaking from a place of experience. It had a lovely message which is positive and refreshing to see. The wise advice this poem had suggests the character has also seen and been through a lot in life to come to these conclusions.

However, there are some suggestions I have to make which may be of help to you.


"Life is about taking one step at a time,
not skipping them.
And with every step of progress there is reward.
There are set backs and obstacles,
but without them you would make no true progress."

This was a fine start though, there are some unnecessary phrases such as, "not skipping them", that was a bit obvious from your first line it was already clearly stated. I would also avoid repeating words so close together in the stanza e.g. "progress".

"You are your own person
and every person progresses and transgresses at their own pace."

Here, I think the "progresses and transgresses", didn't quite fit it didn't seem poetic or flow well together, it added length to the line which was not needed.


As an overview, although the poem had a great message, it began to verge on being an advice column or a poem with life quotations. So keep in mind that you want the poetic element to come through. Imagery and diverse metaphors would be of great help to this.

There was also an unequal line length and syllable length in your poem which became slightly disorganized to read. In general the poem became a bit repetitive so you could remove parts that you could do without.

Overall nice piece, Hope this review helped. Keep writing!

--Chips

Hello! KatyaElefant here to review! Let us see what you have here!

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