Published December 2, 2007
You remain silent and unseen.
Nameless to my lips
but i cannot hide the scars you left.
However much so i wish i could.
These tears do not cry out for your approval.
They fall and crash on cold cement.
Where are you to lift up my sunken head?
Where were you to see these scars you left?
On cold winter nights i lead myself to believe you never were.
A ghost.
A dream.
A thought.
A foolish thought.
Yes.
To think you never were lets my mind rest easy.
Yes.
A foolish thought.
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Canary word: Present
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140,924 Literary Works • 673,737 Reviews
Thanks:)
the i things just a habit lol
I'll try to work on that
Ditto on that =] I pictured something quite nasty
Other then that it's a pretty decent poem.
Like all poems, I couldn't interpret the meaning though. Hehe
I think you should capitalize your I's, so that it looks like this:
You remain silent and unseen.
Nameless to my lips
but I cannot hide the scars you left.
However much so I wish I could.
These tears do not cry out for your approval.
They fall and crash on cold cement.
Where are you to lift up my sunken head?
Where were you to see these scars you left?
On cold winter nights I lead myself to believe you never were.
A ghost.
A dream.
A thought.
A foolish thought.
Yes.
To think you never were lets my mind rest easy.
Yes.
A foolish thought.
But anyways, this was pretty good. I really liked the part about tears crashing on cold cement. ^.^
I only have one suggestion:
'Sunken' doesn't sound like quite the right word. It brings to mind images of heads with skin that's all saggy and, well, sunken. Not pretty.
Keep writing!
Ayra