Published February 17, 2009
To the one who stole my heart
To the one who stole my heart,
Give it back to me!
Can’t you see that I need it?
Don’t you see the gaping hole inside me?
Give it back!
I want it back! Its mine!
I’m not whole without it
Give it back!
Take all my jewels, my rings!
Take all the money I own!
Just, give me back my heart.
To the one who stole my heart,
I’m empty now
Why did you take it?
Why do you need it?
Please, give it back.
To the one who stole my heart,
I found it with yours
This morning in a box, by my door.
You gave it back to me
And you gave me yours.
To the one who had stolen my heart,
Take it back!
It no longer makes me whole
Only your heart completes me…
To the one who had stolen my heart,
Please, take it back.
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141,404 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
thanks for your input. it means alot.
Hello.
First thing I noticed with this is the exclamation points. I think tht it's overdone. It destroys the feel of this poem.
I felt that the first part of your poem was rather weak. You say you need your heart back but you don't say why. Or you state it so simply that it kills the poem.
The latter part of your poem was different. It was deeper somehow and stated not as simply as in the first part. I don't know how to describe it but the 2nd part of your poem had more depth than the first part.
Anyway, just what I thought. Keep writing.