Rockferry, Chapter 1

by Samhain

Published February 27, 2026

16+ Language Violence Mature Content

In Rockferry

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

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Crickets rustled and chirped in the bushes that lined the Coyne family home’s backyard. The house was dark and empty, and a tranquil stillness hung with the summer’s heat, lingering still deep into the night. Somewhere inside a grandfather clock chimed eleven-thirty. And shortly thereafter a navy-blue sedan rolled quietly up to the garage and clicked off.

Ryan had been sleeping most of the way home from the airport in Liverpool but had woken up in the last quarter of the drive to find the Mersey River docks on his right, and the old rowhouses and spindly naked trees on his left, giving him a sigh of relief. He squished his cheek against the window and craned to see the full moon and Venus rising high above. His father, driving slow and steady, glanced back and smiled. Ryan caught the gesture in his periphery and remembered how his dad had always said: ‘Ever a chance you get to look up and see these wonders of space, do it. It always reminds me to be thankful for life and realise there’s so much more to it than we can even imagine.’

In the rearview mirror he saw his mum, with her strawberry Irish hair, stare distantly on a point. The corners of her eyes were misty and she looked in need of rest. Ryan puckered his lips and craned back at the bright moon, which looked so big and stunning.

I wonder if Nana’s watching me, he thought with a little shrug. It was hard to be sad when he’d only met her a few times. They didn’t often get the chance to visit Belfast, but one never wished to schedule a long-awaited vacation for the tossing of ashes.

The sound of tires rolling slowly into the driveway of their two-storey house was oddly comforting. It was familiar; it meant home at last. An audible sigh escaped from all three of them, each intoned differently. His mom’s with sadness, his dad’s with fatigue, and himself, of course, with relief.

The chirping of the crickets made him smile as he lugged his trunk behind his parents to the door. He struggled to pull its weight but also tried to keep from losing footing while craning his neck again to ogle at the moon for as many seconds as he could.

The house had managed to stay regulated whilst they were gone, and the warm lights were soon all flicked on to welcome them back. ‘Tea, anyone?’ Dad asked.

‘Yes, please,’ both he and his mum replied. She set down her trunk by the base of the stairs and proceeded to unload her purse on a small vanity table in the wooden hallway. As he settled in, he watched her expression and felt her driftwood feeling in his young heart like an echo.

In the flash of a moment, she stood up straight, blinked strongly, and swallowed the bowling ball in her chest. She had felt her son watching her closely.

Ryan had barely hooked his jacket when her sweeping arms wrapped around him and held him tight. He felt safe again. She sank her knees halfway to level her head with his and met him green eye to green eye. ‘I love you, no matter what. To the moon and back.’

‘Love you too,’ he whispered in return.

‘Let’s have tea!’ She led him by the shoulder to their cozy family room, a plush enclosure of dark-toned sofas and armchairs situated around a grand fireplace. Between the open living room and their large kitchen was the glass back door to their chirp-filled backyard. The grandfather clock chimed quarter to midnight.

‘Hot chamomile-mint for all!’ cheered Dad, who swung a tray with a hot kettle and teacups over to the central coffee table like a waiter.

‘Thank you, honey,’ Mum said, giving him a kiss.

Dad joined them and relaxed in his favourite armchair and winked at Ryan over his first sip. ‘Blimey it’s late. Aren’t you glad you’re not in school right now?’

Ryan laughed along and savoured his tea. ‘I’m so looking forward to trigonometry next fall.’

‘Oooh, sarcasm—I like it!’ Mom said. ‘Proud Mum moment.’

Dad swung his head playfully. ‘Oh, lord, Kim, he’s fifteen! I’m just glad he doesn’t use the f-word.’

‘Yet,’ Ryan said.

She gasped comically. ‘Ryan!’

The grandfather clock chimed midnight, and in a tired flurry they unpacked, readied for bed, and turned out all the lights.

Ryan lay awake in bed, unable to define the reason for his restlessness. It wasn’t the tea that woke him up—it should have made him sleepier. But it was as if it was too quiet. There was something missing, something wrong. What was it?

He crept out of bed and tiptoed down the stairs to the living room. A floorboard creaked under his foot. There was a sound. But why was it too quiet, so much so that he could begin to hear the blood rushing in his ears?

Then his attention focused on the back door and realised: the crickets had stopped chirping. He sighed with relief and chided himself for being so anxious. He shook his head and started back for the stairs.

A flick of a large shadow ran across the beams of moonlight which spilled across the room and hallway. He snapped around, frozen. The backyard was empty. Still.

He heard a branch snap.

He ran to the back door and tried to see what was out there. Just as he squinted, a dark cloud passed over the moon and made it too dark. He cursed.

His short, lean body trembling, he lowered his breathing to listen for more sounds. Suddenly, it became very loud, very fast.

Thumps against the house walls. Scrapes like rodent claws on wood but bigger. And for just a moment he wondered: did he just hear a growl?

Eyes wide as saucers, he broke into a run up the stairs and shouted, ‘Mum! Dad! Wake up! There’s something climbing the house!’

They burst from their bedroom with frantic expressions.

‘What is it? What is it?’ Dad demanded.

Mum’s eyes swam with terror. ‘Everyone to the car. Now.’

‘What is it, Kim?’

‘Just do it. Go!’ she pushed Dad forward in the back and ushered Ryan down the stairs. Her descent was faster than he’d ever seen—like the Devil himself was at her heels.

They hurried shoes on their feet and made for the inside garage door. Mum’s hands shook violently as she unlocked it. ‘Go, go, go!’ she whispered.

‘What’s going on, Mum? What’s out there?’

‘Kim, tell me!’ Dad demanded, engaging the ignition.

She refused to answer, only muttering, ‘Come on, come on, come on’ to the garage door as it opened. ‘Drive! Just leave the garage door open, I don’t care—just go!’

Dad screeched out of the neighbourhood and headed down a thoroughfare tracing the docks. He pulled over into a dockside parking lot and set the car to idle in a spot facing the water.

‘Wait, what are you doing? Keep going!’

‘No!’ Dad snapped. ‘Kim—tell me what’s going on. You’re acting like you know and I’m not driving any further until you tell us.’

She turned to Ryan. ‘You trust me, right?’

Afraid to say no, he nodded yes.

She took a deep breath to gather herself, her eyes darting left and right through the windows at the darkness.

‘Peter, you remember how I told you I was in a terrible relationship?’ she asked Dad.

‘Uhhh, yeah…’

‘He’s… beyond dangerous. And I thought I was rid of him.’

‘Honey, I know all this already. He’s a criminal and he’s got connections and just all around a real monster of a guy.’

‘No—he’s a real monster.

Ryan shuddered, remembering the claw-scraping sounds on the walls. ‘Mum, what is he?’ he squeaked.

‘I’m sorry, baby. I was sure he’d never find us.’

Dad suddenly did a double take out the rear window. ‘Holy shit!’

He tore out of the parking spot with a peal of rubber. A dark figure grimaced right behind them. Ryan gasped. His heartbeat drilled faster than a bird’s wingbeat. ‘Mum, what is that?’

‘No!’ she screamed. ‘Oh my God, no!’

The figure stood still as Dad floored the pedal. It was hard to be sure at such a time of night, but it was taller than any man he’d ever met. It was strong and very muscular. Its skin was greenish-black and shiny, like the wet monitor lizard he’d seen in the riparian section of the zoo.

But this was no lizard-man. There was something crueller than that about the face. It was almost human. It was wrinkled in a permanent scowl of an enraged predator, and white fangs glistened in its grimace. Its fingers were tipped with wickedly long claws which waggled impatiently at its sides.

‘What the devil was that?’ Dad exclaimed. His expression was contorted with terror and fury in a way he’d never seen before.

Three miles down the freeway Dad parked them in the lot of a twenty-four-hour diner and they all caught their breath. After a moment of silence, he looked like himself again and asked very softly: ‘What kind of criminal looks like a demon straight from Hell?’

Mum burst into tears and leaned into his shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry! I tried to keep all of this from you, but I was a fool.’

‘What’s done is done,’ Dad said. ‘Just tell us now and we’ll deal with it as a family.’

‘He’s… he’s not from Hell… but he is a demon. And I mean a real demon. A very old, very vicious, very evil being.’

Ryan’s blood ran cold. ‘What does a demon do, Mum?’

‘You don’t want to know. I didn’t even know that’s what he was until it was too late. He looked as human as anyone and was a handsome gentleman.’

‘Oh, well that’s brilliant! So, he’s a shapeshifter too, then?’ Dad said. ‘Bloody hell, I can’t believe this. Can’t even believe we’re even having this conversation. I mean, I can’t unsee what I saw back there, but—you, you put us all in—’ he broke off with a groan. ‘Never mind. It’s almost one o’clock in the morning. We’ll have some food and coffee and find a hotel in Liverpool.’

They ate quickly their eggs and bacon and travelled across the bridge to Liverpool where they found an open room near Newsham Park. The streets were quiet and flat and lined with old brick buildings; the residences looked well-kept but the shops were declining. A nice line of greenery divided the traffic by a wide median and gave a sense of mediaeval suburbia despite the size of the city.

Sitting in yesterday’s clothes on the clean hotel beds, the three of them took turns staring at the ceiling, trying to relax while the threat of a monster lay thick in the air. No safe harbour. No assurance they’d wake up from their sleep, if they could manage sleeping at all.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
farq4d
Review
farq4d wrote a review Review · Feb 27

hello there- just dropping in to leave a review : )

What I enjoyed:
Throughout the story, the descriptions and scenery are written very well. You get a sense of where exactly the story takes place, what time it is, etc, all without telling the reader too directly. You do this very well in other aspects too (the not too directly part). For example, the reason for the trip away from home being final goodbyes to a lost relative, whether or not the grandparent is maternal or paternal, and even the age of our main character. These are done very well through the descriptions, the feelings of the characters and the dialogue between them.

The dialogue I thought was written very well. One of my peeves is when I read dialogue and I think to myself, "Nobody talks like that in real life." Even though the family jokes amongst themselves after the somber trip, I think it's an accurate depiction of the rapport between family members. It gives a good sense of the closeness of the family. I also appreciate the proper paragraph breaks between different speakers; I know it's not a super big deal but a lot of people forget to add them and it makes such a difference for the reader to be able to tell who is speaking.

Another minor thing I enjoyed: the Dad at least drove out of the house, and out of the neighborhood before stopping and demanding answers. I loathe when movies and stories have someone demand answers in urgent situations. It's like- uhm, figure it out on the way or once you're safe?? There's a literal demon behind you bro, get a move on first, talk later.

Some things I'd like to see:

A minor critique- in the story sometimes you wrote 'Mum' and others you wrote 'Mom.' As this story seems to be set in the UK, I would suggest revising and ensuring that every single 'Mom' is replaced with 'Mum,' just to keep things consistent across the board.

My last critique- I felt a little jarred from the beginning of the story to the end (and maybe that's the point so take this with a grain of salt). Let me explain:

The beginning of the story is the somber, tired drive home after saying final goodbyes to a loved one, followed by a friendly chat and a cup of tea before bed. Then, Ryan wakes and he hears spooky noises and things begin to kick off. I think that this story could have benefited from some suspense or foreshadowing during the first part.

For example, maybe mum says something a little off that could be interpreted to be about the passing of her mum, but it's worded strangely and could be alluding to something else (the demon). Or maybe on the way home, Ryan feels like something is watching them in the car. I see that this is listed under horror, and for me at least, the most terrifying thing is the unknown. As soon as you show your hand, things can become a lot less scary. Every reader is going to have different things that spook them, so let their imagination run wild with suspense that you create before you show off your demon. Maybe something in the house has been misplaced, maybe there was a strange figure present at the funeral, etc. Letting the reader stew in suspense, perhaps even lengthening this piece some, would make the eventual reveal of the monster more impactful, more scary.

My favorite parts:

As he settled in, he watched her expression and felt her driftwood feeling in his young heart like an echo.


Driftwood feeling? Are you kidding? I'm so obsessed with this metaphor. It implies so much and leaves room for interpretation, interpretation that might only be able to be done with additional characterization and plot in the future chapters. For me, the 'driftwood feeling' makes me visualize a lonely piece of wood, perhaps departed from a sunken ship, out at sea. It conveys, to me at least, that the mother is feeling lost or lonely after the death of her mother. Ryan feeling this in his own heart 'like an echo' conveys either that he feels the same way in some capacity, or he is simply empathizing with his mother's loss. I don't know, just wanted to point this out because when I was reading this I just absolutely loved it.

‘Honey, I know all this already. He’s a criminal and he’s got connections and just all around a real monster of a guy.’

‘No—he’s a real monster.’


Love this. Oh no he's not like metaphorically a monster- he is literally a monster. I've been telling you guys he's a monster- you guys just have taken it the wrong way.

My final thoughts:
Overall, I did enjoy reading your story, and I look forward to reading future chapters. I thought it did an excellent blend of the comedic with the scary. The story left me with many questions that I know will be later revealed: Ryan's mom was... involved with a demon? This Demon can shapeshift? Is he going to appear in the form of one of the family members, perhaps Nana?

Thank you for sharing this here for us to read!

Toodles-

Farq

Samhain replied · Feb 28

Thanks!

User avatar
ColdOne
Comment
ColdOne commented Comment · Feb 27

Ooo I really enjoyed this. Your way of describing the environment is absolutely immersive and delicious. Maybe try adding some more detail of senses other than sight? Still really good though! Also I'm assuming the point of commenting that Ryan doesn't use the f-word means he'll say it later? If it does the payoff would be awesome. Kind of like a Chekhov's gun of sorts. I'd definitely come back to read another part of this. I'm invested

User avatar
ColdOne
Review
ColdOne wrote a review Review · Feb 27

Ooo I really enjoyed this. Your way of describing the environment is absolutely immersive and delicious. Maybe try adding some more detail of senses other than sight? Still really good though! Also I'm assuming the point of commenting that Ryan doesn't use the f-word means he'll say it later? If it does the payoff would be awesome. Kind of like a Chekhov's gun of sorts. I'd definitely come back to read another part of this. I'm invested

Samhain replied · Feb 28

Thanks!

User avatar
dragonight9
Review
dragonight9 wrote a review Review · Feb 27

Hi, Dragonight here to review this interesting story.


That was straight dragon FIRE
(my compliments)

Your first paragraph set the scene very well. You used good descriptors that involved multiple senses.

I am enjoying the repeated space themes in this family, especially the quote from Ryan's father, and his mother saying "love you to the moon and back."

You expressed the feelings of loss felt by the family very well, and I like how you made it individual rather than a joint feeling.

The comedy and sarcasm as the family drinks their tea was a bit surprising to me after the initial somber mood, but the scene itself was well done and the humor was very relatable.

I like how you had the sound of crickets be such a big factor. You mentioned it twice before mentioning its absence which felt significant and rose tension. Great job with that.

You kept up a great feeling of panic and stakes from when the family rushes out of the house right till the end of the chapter. The description of the demon is interesting to me since it deviates from the classic demon description. I wonder what your inspiration was?

Lastly, you ended the first chapter in a great way, with the seemingly normal life of this family dramatically altered and now they have to figure out what to do next.


Some loose scales
(my critiques)

I couldn't find anything major to critique! But if I was really looking there are a few things I want to comment on.

First, the descriptors in this chapter were great, however you could incorporate more senses like smell or taste to describe how the characters are feeling. For example, describing how the tea tasted can give insight into how the characters are feeling despite what they are saying out loud.

On the same note, it felt like the family may have been joking around to lighten the mood despite feeling sad inside but there was no indication of that. If you intended to simply have that as a funny moment where they were genuinely feeling happy then you can dismiss this comment.


As mighty wing soar overall

The story as a whole felt professionally done. The paragraphs were need and the descriptors in all the right places. I was able to see what was happening clearly in my head and the story took me on a ride of emotions.
Great job!


Final wisdom of the dragon friend

You used descriptors that communicated clearly what the characters were feeling and there were a few that I never thought to use. Your spectacular balance of description and action was my favorite aspect of this story.

May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.

Samhain replied · Feb 27

Hey Dragon! Thanks for the [very stylish] review! I like your suggestion of smoothing out the transition to semi-happy tea time - I'll make sure to indicate more of a "light humor in the darkness" moment in the next edit. Thanks!



“I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you.”
— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince