The Flower Girl

I enjoyed reading this, however, I feel as though the ending was a bit incomplete. Try to conjure up a stronger ending. Also, I'm sure you can add more. Perhaps more imagery or more lineS? Or maybe a nicer flow to it. Other than that, well done.

I like how this can be viewed in different ways.

When i read this, i think about a child who grows up only to learn that the world isn't as nice as it seemed when they were little. No Santa or Tooth fairy, only to have their innocence be swept away. This is a really great read. Simple yet really meaningful and to the point.

Nice write and well done.

I like it... It's VERY pretty. You could work on making it a bit more catchy, though. I mean, it's nice, but it's not something that will stick in my brain for long, you know? You want to make an impression.

I enjoyed this. It was simplistic and nice. However, I think it could've easily been more. What you lack here is description/interesting words and a feeling of suspense. The whole time, I know what is going to happen. I know she's a delicate flower about to be crushed under someone's heel. Speaking of, maybe add more to that? Even in poetry, you're telling a story in a way. This feels fairly off-hand. There's little emotion to it. Back to the concept of suspense, this poem was short, so I finished it. But if it were long? I might not have, because I knew what was coming. I should be dragged, compelled to finish, no matter if it's an epic, by wanting to know how it ends. You get me?

Otherwise, there is no formality to this poem. If that's what you were going for, okay. But stanzas are something that tend to even form in free verse poetry.

All in all, I hope this helps you improve and thanks for becoming a member of YWS. Keep writing!

-Cas