Depressing, but I'm a major fan of dark poetry. Overall I think this good you can feel the emotion coming off of it, the sadness and tradigty the narrator has gone through. I'm not sure if I like the line "this life is rough, man I know" it almost sounds kind of slang I guess but that's just a personal opinion. and also towards the end of the poem you kind of stopped rhyming or you changed the rhyme which makes it awkward to read in some places .i loved the beginning but It could use some work towards the end,I think the concept and everything is really good! If you like dark poems you would probably like the one I wore titled "it's going to be okay.. That's all lies" check it out if you have time and good luck writing in the future !
Points: 268
Reviews: 14
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