Dearest Grandfather,
I’ve been trying to write this for six days,
but I haven’t known what to say.
I think the only thing to say
is that there is too much to say.
This was so unexpected, how could you?!
I’m sorry, I’m not angry at you.
I’m angry at everyone but you.
I know it’s probably, definitely wrong…
But I can’t help it, I can’t stop it.
Besides, I’m following in your footsteps!
(No one could really call you an angel, now could they?)
Everyone says, “sorry for your loss.”
But I lost so much more than a sorry.
And I never told you how much I loved you,
Because I didn’t know how much I loved you-
Until it was too late.
So I guess I just wanted to say,
I love you Grampy…
See you later.
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140,903 Literary Works • 673,714 Reviews
Firstly, I liked how your mix of emotions and uncertainty was reciprocated throughout the poem with you unintentionally lashing out at others. I think it gives your poems a very human touch that is somewhat difficult to replicate unless you're experiencing strong emotion. I personally feel as though the inclusion of:
"Everyone says, “sorry for your loss.”
But I lost so much more than a sorry.
And I never told you how much I loved you,
Because I didn’t know how much I loved you-
Until it was too late."
was good at giving the reader an idea of how misunderstood you feel in this circumstance. To those that relate to this situation or had similar circumstances, these lines not only convey your frustration, but the sadness you get from constantly being reminded that you even lost someone. I think the articulation of such feelings is key, and that you did it well. One of the only things I'd personally change in the poem is the first stanza. You begin with saying you don't know what to say, then you say that there's too much to say. Other than that tiny point, I enjoyed your poem.
Thank you for your review, I will keep these in mind!
Cyer here with a review! As always, please keep in mind that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad!
Also I should warn you that it's been a while since I've reviewed so I may be somewhat rusty so please excuse anything that remotely resembles terrible reviewing
I think this perfectly captures what grief feels like. I especially love this stanza
That's so true and on point in many different factors. It's little funny actually, the times when we have too much to say are often the times when we're to distraught to say anything.
One of the things I noticed is that you have an affinity for repeating words. [ig. say in the previous set of stanzas and you and angry here]. This isn't really a critique, it's honestly more of an observation. But anywayy moving on, I can feel how raw the speakers emotions are here:
The way the speaker says 'that was so unexpected, how could you?!' and then goes onto a completely different train of thought and abruptly says 'I'm sorry, I'm not angry at you'
really helped me to feel what the speakers emotions.
I'm curious as to what exactly this piece is implying. Is it more of a woeful admission that your grandpa had made some serious mistakes in the past and your headed down the same road, or is it more, your grandfather was a positive role model and you feel like your the only one who sees that?
Loss breeds realization, doesn't it? I love how honest this passage is. The person admits that they didn't know how much they loved their grandpa until it was too late. I think it says alot about who we are as human beings. We often take the things we love, such as freedom, security, and even the people we love for granted. But in doing so, we're blinding ourselves to the fact that life waits for no one, not us or our securities.
I think this was such a sweet ending <3
Aaaand that concludes this review! I hope you found it helpful, and if not, I hope it at least touched you in some way <3
-Cyer out
PS: I just wanted to state again, that I didn't write this piece with the intention of hurting you, but if anything I sad hit too close to home or anything please let me know <333 I want to respect your feelings, not worsen them <333
It did touch me, thank you. I%u2019m glad that writing this helped people to understand a little bit of how I feel and what I%u2019m going through! Thank you for your review!
Np, so glad it touched you <333