Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Historical Fiction


My Country, 'Tis Of Thee

by SakuraKistune12

My country, 'tis of thee,

A young child stood in the vast meadow,
Watching a herd of bison grazing in the distance.

Sweet land of liberty,

From the forest behind him,
He heard the sweet tweets and chirrups of birdsong.

Of thee I sing;

He didn’t know who he was,
Or why he existed.
He just knew he had a purpose.

Land where my fathers died,

With every bang,
Another man fell.
With every bang,
He lost a part of himself.

Land of the pilgrims’ pride,

He smiled and picked up the teacup,
Before noisily slurping up the tea,
Making the older man across the table chuckle.

From ev’ry mountainside,

From the top of the hill,
He could see the ships retreating into the distance.
They had finally left, hopefully for good.

Let freedom ring!

He felt pride swelling in his chest
As the men below him cheered.
They were gone.
He was finally independent.
He was no longer a colony under someone else’s rule.

Finally, he was a country.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
17 Reviews

Points: 762
Reviews: 17

Tue Jul 09, 2019 1:35 am
starchaser wrote a review...

Hello, and welcome to YWS! I see that you probably got inspired by the recent holiday. I'm not familiar with the song, but I think you used it well in this poem!

"Sweet land of liberty,/From the forest behind him,/He heard the sweet tweets and chirrups of birdsong." Assuming that each stanza/paragraph is based off of the lyric above it, I would say that I have mixed feelings about forests and birds being described in a stanza/paragraph that is supposed to be about liberty.

"Land where my fathers died,/With every bang,/Another man fell./With every bang,/He lost a part of himself." I do like this stanza/paragraph being paired with this lyric. I also like "He lost a part of himself", as I am assuming this "him" is supposed to be a personification of America.

"He could see the ships retreating into the distance./They had finally left, hopefully for good." Who is "they"? What kind of ships is the main character watching leave? Are they warships or are they merchant ships? Who does the main character want gone?

"He felt pride swelling in his chest/As the men below him cheered./They were gone." Once again, who is "they"? The British soldiers, or the men below him? This could be confusing for others.

Overall, I really liked this poem/songfic! Good luck on future works!

I will not condemn you for what you did yesterday, if you do it right today.
— Sheldon S. Maye