Young Writers Society

As our journey continues within the magical realm of Magestorrow's poetry, we have arrived at this quite interesting poem. The background information combined with the tight stanzas we have here in this poem, gives a rather distinct idea of what kind of place a campground could possibly be in people's wildest dreams.

Let's roll on into the review then. This gives a fun fantastical feel to what otherwise might be felt as mundane to people who aren't into the whole "visit the outdoors and trees and stuff" so I'm already intrigued by the first few lines. I like how there's a sense of consistency, even with the various capitalized letters and words thrown throughout the poem. This definitely is giving me Neil Gaiman vibes, (specifically Stardust because that's the only book I've read of his) and I one hundred percent am here for it!

The timeline is a little murky for the reader primarily I think in the transition between the travelers asking to stay the night and the Mist arriving. The sole reason for this mostly comes from the fact that the reader is trying to figure out who they're reading this poem from - what view, what person, what people, or even nothing specific at all could be reciting this idea. This reads almost like a legend, or a fairy tale spoken to youngsters, and while I like that, I'm not sure if that was the intended method of conveying (if those words make any sense.) Really, what I mean is that while I like the adjoined feel from the scene, such as being told this by a slightly British voice overview a beautiful forest, I like there to be some kind of connection to the reader.

Overall, though, I think an interesting take on this poem would be to have a specific little testimony of one of these outside travelers, even for a few lines, and being able to say what they truly see. That could work well with the introduction of the Mist, saying something like "little did they know what the Mist does" as I think that flows better with both parts of the poem. I think this poem was a lot of fun to read, and I hope this was helpful!

Heya Saen! Cat back again to review this other awesome poem! ^-^ Let's get going!

First two stanzas, and I'm in love. I love the outsider look I'm getting, as well as the fantasy mixed in. Off to a great start c:

Third stanza I actually had to look up amicability, so good job! xD I also really love this stanza so far. I am also a one who loves nature(most of the time xD) and campfires and
nights-spent-under-starry-skies <3

Fourth stanza, and I adore the mist imagery. That is all <3

Ahh <3 The imagery is amazing, and I adore the whole aesthetic of the poem. You evoked so many good memories and feelings in me. ^-^

My only question is why some things are capitalized? I get it for a few things that are more of proper names, but I think personally there were too many for me.

Flow was great, as was rhythm. Line breaks were a bit weird, but not super weird for me.

Overall, <33 I love this a lot. One of my favorite poems in a while. Imagery was superb, and I love this forest now c: I hope this was helpful!

Keep writing! =^-^=
~Cat

This is ZeldaIsSheik here signing in for another Review Day review on YWS! Today's review will contain helpful tips for the writer of this literature and possibly a little bit of constructive criticism as well. As you as excited as I am? Well, let's get started, then!

First off, that ending took me by surprise. I really liked the dashes between the words at the end, making it feel like it's to be read fast and express some kind of wispy voice or feeling. I like the message of living with nature and becoming one with the forest, and I like how you expressed the perspective of both yourself and the seasonal campers that you said you had at your campground. Overall I think there is little to discuss in this poem because it is so beyond my level of writing or reviewing, but I will try to find some error in it now to help you become a better writer.

The only thing that
I thought was weird
about this poem was
that it almost felt like
a sentence that you
hit enter on
each time you came to
the end of a line.

See how that feels weird? It kind of feels like you took a sentence and hit enter a few times. It threw me off at first, so maybe work on making it read a little more poetically, but it's fine if you don't; I understand that it may just be your style.