Transformers: Heavy Metal PILOT AKA Before Time Began

INT. AUTOBOT BASE-MIDNIGHT

There is a large mass of transformers crowded together in a lump. There is loud, frantic talking, the ensemble speaks concerned. There is little lighting. Suddenly, a small bot moves through the scene. He is illuminated by blue light, and contrasts with the dim and grey crowd. He is white and black. He is at the other's knee level. He looks terrified. He bumps into a red autobot named Ironhide.

IRONHIDE:

(in grizzled southern accent)

Watch where yer goin' kid!

SMALL BOT:

(in frail, weak voice)

What happened to Prime, Ironhide?

IRONHIDE:

Why you actin' as if I know? All I know is he was here one moment, and now... poof! He gone!

SMALL BOT:

Did Megatron kill him?

IRONHIDE:

Heck naw!

SMALL BOT:

Heck naw? But, it's always Megatron’s fault! You know that, I know that, everyone in the milky way knows that!

IRONHIDE:

Now, you know as well as anyone, J-x44 that I'm always first to blame those deceptipunks for messin' about, but, I dunno 'bout this one. Seems bigger. Bigger than them. Certainly bigger than us.

(he waves jx44 off)

Scurry along now, child. The adults are a-talkin'.

JX4 runs away from the crowd.

Cut to black.

EXT. LONELY FLAT LANDSCAPE-MIDNIGHT

A loud rushing is heard. 1 red and grey and blue plane emerges from the darkness bathed in a red light. It says nothing as it flies, and only ominous electronic music is played. It transforms suddenly. The transformer is Starscream, a former Decepticon turned television star on earth. He walks through a grey metal door. He is stopped by a transformer that looks similar to him, only taller, black and purple, and more angular. The purple transformer points a gun at his head. Starscream only smiles cheekily.

STARSCREAM:

Is this how you treat a brother, Skywarp?

SKYWARP:

Whatever it is starscream, I'm. Not. I'm interested.

STARSCREAM:

Oh, who cares what you are interested in! I'm not here for you! Put that gun down, alright?

SKYWARP:

Give me one good reason why I should.

STARSCREAM:

Ah! I can give you many. But here's one.

He whips out a piece of paper. We can't see what the paper says. Skywarp snatches it from him, shooting him a dirty look.

SKYWARP:

This better be good.

He reads whatever it says, and his body freezes. He looks flabbergasted. Starscream smiles slyly.

STARSCREAM:

This. Changes. Everything. Doesn't it?

(cackling)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

SKYWARP:

I-i-i-

STARSCREAM:

You-you-you... oh... I suppose this gives me clearance to Lord Megatron's building, doesn't it?

SKYWARP:

Knock yourself out.

STARSCREAM:

(patting skywarp on the head, even though hes significantly shorter than him)

Good man.

(walking away)

What a pleasant chat! Toodleloo!

INT.-DECEPTICON BASE-MIDNIGHT

Starscream confidently walks into a energon (transformers's food/alcohol) bar. He stands next to a wanted poster of himself.

STARSCREAM:

(quietly to himself while looking at his poster) what a wonderful poster of a wonderful seeker! Price is much too low though. (slowly and loudly so all bar can hear) Tsk, tsk megsy, I thought after all the hell we went through you would have the courtesy to make my warrant at least a hundred million but, alas, I suppose not.

An energon blast is fired at him, we cant see who did it though.

STARSCREAM:

It appears I am… unwelcome. Let me start over, so those in the back can here. I am starscream.YES, Yes. THAT starscream. Autographs will have to wait, however. Shocking news I bring to ye! If thou wouldst only lend thou’s hearing…

A grey bot interrupts him.

Inside the bar more.

A bar corner. A large, grey transformer sits with a energon drink and a lit cig. A grey moth flies by. He turns around slowly.

GREY CON:

Let me stop you there. What news could you possibly HAVE to share with us that warrants entering a territory where you are worth more dead than alive?

Back to starscream. He gives the grey bot a flirtatious stare.

STARSCREAM:

Ah! Mighty Megatron! Fearsome ruler of all the decepticons! I am honored to see you again after all these years! How many has it been… correct me if I’m wrong, but just last night, I was in your room. What was it were we doing? My aging memory fails me. (gives megatron sly grin and winks at him) And so does my focus! I simply MUST keep in mind that here, now, I’m surrounded by a thousand warriors with vendettas and guns.

The two now stand next to each other. Megatron is super tall. Starscream is really really really short. He has a femboy build. Megatron has a muscular tall build. Megatron plays along, though.

MEGATRON:

True! At the wave of my hand, you would have at least 40 laser beams in your chest. Why throw away your life so recklessly?

STARSCREAM:

I throw it away for this. Need I say more?

He hands Megatron the paper. Megatron reads it nonchalantly.

MEGATRON:

Oh. I should have known.

(speaking to crowd at bar)

Bots, Optimus Prime is dead.

Silence. Thundercracker, a tall bot who looks like starscream, only more squarish, and much taller, feignts.

STARSCREAM:

I'd love to stay and chat, but unfortunately, my show receives a kids choice award in an hour. AHAHAHAHHAHAH!!

(seductively)

I’ll see you tonight megsy!

He blows a kiss, then He transforms into a jet and flies out the bar, laughing.

MEGATRON:

Alright... this... complicates things. Optimus Prime, dead.

(pausing briefly)

I know a perfect poem for this. "Must we imagine,

Father, there are souls that go from here

Aloft to upper heaven, and once more

Return to bodies' dead weight? The poor souls,

How can they crave our daylight so?" the Aeneid, men. How could a fleshbag like virgil give death such descriptor? I know not. Wise words to reflect on, however. While you do, allow me a moment.

(he turns away from the decepticons for a second)

Alright. Plan. The autobots are weak right now. We parlay, convince them to broker peace, and the two sides merge.

DECEPTICONS AS ONE:

MERGE??!?!?!?!?!

MEGATRON:

Yes. Many autobots will flee and abandon the cause, and those remaining... will make great advisors and councilors for us.

We see a swindle, a purple, brown and black 'con (shot for DECEPTICON) look shocked. He moves up from the crowd towards Megatron.

SWINDLE:

(in sleazy new york accent)

Me? Work with the AUTOSCUM? Who the

(transforming noise)

Do you think I am? I QUIT!

He stomps out, joined by a few others.

MEGATRON IN FRONT OF DECEPTICONS

MEGATRON:

There is no shame in leaving. I can understand that working with the autobots sounds...counterintuitive…to say the least. They will not be thrilled about this, either. Working with us, the "bad guys" sounds a terrible fate to most of those self righteous frags. But, those that leave, leave. starscream and the other traitors will take care of them! So, let them run, and let them get murdered! But, those that stay... Well... together, we can use to terriform planets and find new homes for our species. Who is with me?

Thundercracker, weakly stands up.

THUNDERCRACKER:

I... am.

Soundwave, a blue transformer, whose voice is heavily mechanized and robotic, helps him up.

SOUNDWAVE:

Soudwave will go wherever lord megatron leads him.

Shockwave, a purple transformer with one eye and a big vocabulary, appears from the crowd.

SHOCKWAVE:

Though I believe the merge is highly illogical, I trust you and your better judgement greatly, soundwave. You as well, megatron. Less so.

MEGATRON:

Alright. Anyone who wants to make history, follow me!

New act!

Slam TO: road at dawn. The sun isn't up yet, only night is getting lighter.

A grey cybertruck (Megatron), a radiotruck (soundwave), a tank (shockwave), a blue f-15 jet plane (thundercracker) are at the front of the decepticon convoy, and more tanks, planes, trains, and cars speed down the road. Horns of war blare. Drums play in the back. The vibe is terrifying, tense, and like something big is about to happen. A speedy orangey-pink motorcycle snakes past all these vehicles. The pink-helmeted rider zooms up next to Megatron. She is a transformer born without a cog (gives transformers the ability to transform, so she can't transform, otherwise known as a monoformer) who is white with pinky orange finnish, and a golden glow that seems to stay on her no matter what. Her eyes and most of her face is obscured by a heart shaped helmet.

MEGATRON:

Amsterdam? What on earth are you doing here? You should be in bed!

AMSTERDAM (EMMIE):

I'm sorry, Lord Protectorate! I just wanted to see history in the making!

MEGATRON:

Is that what star's calling it now?

AMSTERDAM:

How'd you know he told me?

MEGATRON:

He tells you everything. Says that it is important for kids to stay well informed in politics.

AMSTERDAM:

Can I watch Lord Protectorate? Please?

MEGATRON:

Sure. This should be bloodless. Just stay out of our way, and if things get dicy, you know what to do.

Close up of Amsterdam, called Emmie for short, moving her hand around her purse.

She roots her hand around her orange heart-shaped purse. There are like 14 watches. (more elaboration and significance in plot later. Chekov's gun is a wonderful story device, eh?)

AMSTERDAM:

I will! I always will!

As she starts driving away from him, he stops her.

MEGATRON:

Oh no! You think I am going to let you leave without telling you how wonderful you are?

AMSTERDAM:

(playfully annoyed)

Lord protectoraaaaaaate…

MEGATRON:

Let me finnish! How large is the distance between cybertron and earth?

AMSTERDAM:

Couple billion light years without a space bridge!

MEGATRON:

I love you that much. You’re my precious little weevil grub, and you should never forget that.

AMSTERDAM:How could I ever!

EXT. FRONT OF AUTOBOT BASE-DAWN

The war horns blare. The drums fire. The decepticons surround the autobot base. It is a rectangular government building, in the industrial part of a city, possibly Boise.

INT. INSIDE AUTOBOT BASE-DAWN

The autobots scream and scatter as horns blare and drums bang. It's total chaos. Arcee, a pink female autobot, gets up on a platform, rising above the crowd. The noise dies down for her speech.

ARCEE:

Hi! So. We have no prime. No guiding force. No one to light, to, let's face it, our darkest hour. But, I'm terribly optimistic. I believe we, as autobots, as individuals, can survive. We're just gonna have to take the coward's way out, I'm afraid.

Elita-1, who is Optimus's widow, whose eyes are soaked in tears, with some streaming down her face, steps out of the crowd, to confront ARCEE. She is taller than her, and a darker pink.

ELITA:

(sternly and bitterly)

I'd rather die than run away.

ARCEE:

I understand your frustration!

But I speak for several others when I say: we should scatter among the cosmos! We can rebuild, regroup, and replan later!

So Optimus's legacy, the team that he himself assembled, loved, and treated as his children and friends won't die in vain! Remember what we are all about-Freedom! It was Something your husband cared an awful lot about!

Elita slaps arcee.

ELITA:

YOU INSOLENT BRAT! HOW DARE YOU USE HIS NAME TO PUSH YOUR AGENDA OF FEAR!

They get into a full on brawl. Bumblebee (called bee) a yellow autobot girl, stops them.

BEE:

GUYS! PLEASE! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!

They stop. Looking with contempt for one another.

ARCEE:

You’re right, bee.

(TWARDS crowd)

Anyone who wants to live free, follow me!

(to elita)

Sometimes, commander, cowards do survive.

Arcee, and several others, leave the hall. Those that follow her include but are not limited to: Ultra Magnus, hot rod, J-x44, wheeljack, cliffjumper, blaster, jetfire, bee, perceptor. Maybe like 5-10 unnamed bots too.

ElITA:

(sigh)

That was all our good ones.

IRONHIDE:

Hey! You actin' as if we don't function! We're still perfectly good fighters! I say we take on these deceptipunks in one last battle! Go out with a bang, eh? Who's with me?

A few autobots cheer. Elita raises a hand, silencing the crowd.

ELITA:

That is the worst idea I've ever heard.

IRONHIDE:

You're impossible!

ELITA:

But it's our only option. With our luck, we might be able to kill a couple important deceptions.

IRONHIDE:

With our luck, it could be rainin' cats outtha wazoo and we'd still catch a dog! But hey, might as well!

ELITA:

Hold on. I hear speaking.

Ext. OUTSIDE FORT-DAWN

Shockwave is talking on a mic connected to soundwave.

SHOCKWAVE:

We come in peace, AUTOBOTS! We seek only to merge with your team, as you are in need of a leader. We need your side's intelligence, inventions, and guidance in order to restore honor to the galaxy!

The AUTOBOTS stand on top of the fort. IRONHIDE speaks without a mic, showing their unpreparedness. He looks out, and far in the distance the escaped autoobots can be seen speeding down the highway. He looks back down.

IRONHIDE:

Now listen here, cyclops!

He looks at ELITA. She does a cut it out handwave.

ELITA:

(whispering harshly)

We are not in a position to trash talk!

Ironhide looks back at the deceptions below.

IRONHIDE:

Pardon me. I'm a little fiery right now. Been up since the wee hours of the day, ya know what Imma sayin'?

Anyways, will we still be treated fairly, and keep our titles and ranks?

Shockwave covers the mic with his hand. Shockwave leans over and whispers to Megatron. Megatron whispers something back.

SHOCKWAVE:

(on mic again) Yes. You can keep your titles and ranks. (he covers mic) regrettably.

Both autobots and decepticons together.

EXT. AUTOBOT BASE-DAWN

ELITA shakes Megatron's hand. Thundercracker, with a camera, snaps photos.

Emmie, who was in the ensemble the entire scene, drives off on her cycle.

New act!

EXT. WOODED FORREST-MIDDAY

Emmie drives by. She's loudly playing Fleet Foxes, a folk band I highly recommend you check out. Possibly the song “the cascades”

The autobots huddle around each other in sheer terror hearing the music.

J-x44:

She has a trash taste...

ULTRA MAGNUS:

Ssssssshhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Now is not the time!

We see her pink and orange phone, which is picking up the autobots signal. It suddenly flashes and beeps.

EMMIE:

BRINGO!!!!!

She zooms off the path. The autobots scatter in a zillion directions. (Emmie keeps her helmet on for this entire scene, remaining anonymous .)

EMMIE:

(nervously and sheepishly)

Wait! Wait! I have gifts!

The autobots stop and look at her.

ARCEE:

Gifts? I thought you were Megatron's daughter!

EMMIE:

Sure I am!! Gifts!

She awkwardly opens her purse, and the watches from earlier spill out.

ULTRA MAGNUS:

What in the-? What do these do?

EMMIE:

They turn you into humans if you press the red button!

PERCEPTOR:

Hollowform technology! I thought it was a myth!

BEE:

Thank you… umm… What's your name?

EMMIE:

I have a lot of names. Lord protectorate- you know- the guy you autotrash hate-

J-X44:

Megatron?

EMMIE:

Lord Protectorate loves naming me. Call me Elora!

(starts stimming, waving her arms around and rubbing arms together, as she says these next lines really fast)

Um anyways. A few rouge deceptions are on their way to kill you! I can't stop them because they are filled with evil within their hearts and haven’t gotten the chance to kill someone in days! Good luck! Bye!

She drives off at full speed.

The forest is now empty except for them.

J-X44:

What was that? She was so… odd! Ive never seen a person like that!

CLIFFJUMPER:

You need to get out more, then! But do you mean, someone unabashedly themselves?

J-X44:

I dunno. Does being yourself make ya odd? There's a better word for it…

... eh. I'll find it later.

CLIFFJUMPER:

Sure you will!

The two fist bump, then they equip the watches.

WHEELJACK:

Woah. This is some serious tech. Shockwave really gives us autobot techies a run for our energon, eh?

PERCEPTOR:

They could've easily destroyed us with shockwaves intellect alone... why didn't they?

JETFIRE:

Back in the day... they would've. I wonder what shifted in Meg's brain that caused him to stop trying!

UlTRA MAGNUS:

(very serious and dower)

He got soft after that weird little alien kid of his came into the picture.

J-X44:

Woooaaah. Angsty mcangstertron over here!

ULTRA MAGNUS:

What? Can I be a little pissed that the only father I ever had is gone? Am I expected to immediately jump back into storytime happy hour only a little bit later?

Bee comes to his side and clings to his leg. Shes super short btw. He blushes.

BEE:

I'm sorry you feel that way...

HOT ROD:

Don't encourage him!

BLASTER:

Alright, alright! We’re all about ready to kill each other!

(laughs awkwardly)

Lets all just calm down. Oh-I feel like what we need is some tunes!

J-X44:

Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!

ARCEE:

What we need is to figure out what Elora warned us about!

PERCEPTOR:

Something about evil within their hearts... I think she meant sparks.

WHEELJACK:

I heard something about rouge deceptions.

ULTRA MAGNUS:

You fools need your listening components checked. She said that rouge deceptions were out to get us.

HOT ROD:

Speak of the fallen...

(their equivalent of the devil is the fallen prime, another Chekhov's gun for ya!!!)

Starscream, swindle, and 20-30 other nameless cons emerge from the Forrest.

STARSCREAM:

KILL! KILL! KILL! DECPTICONS!! DESTROY!!!!

The cons open fire mercilessly. The shots are loud and piercing. Starscream laughs manically the whole time.

Shot of J-x44 and Cliffjumper, with one gun between them.

They swap the gun back and forth, but it's no match for the deceptions.

Cut to a bright flash

It now shows cliffjumper, agape. He slowly looks down. Camra moves down his body, stops at his chest. We see a massive smoldering hole in his chest.

Slowly pan back up to his face

Smoke bellows from his eyes and mouth. He coughs once, directly onto jx44. ,blood spilling all over jx44’s chest. Jx turns, stares at him, and CLIFFJUMPER's eyes suddenly go from electric blue to grey. He is dead. J-x44 stares horrified. Blaster runs up to get JX, grabbing him, dragging him away. He doesn't protest. The blood is still on him.

It shows them running away, still being persued by Starscream's brigade. We see jetfire running next to them, but then a net drops down and engulfs him. The camra keeps going and jetfire is left in the dust.

J-x44 gets shot in the eyes as they escape. We see his blue lenses (eyes) cracked and shattered. He covers his eyes. He scowls.

Pov shot. We see black on one side and many tiny cracks on the other as the ground beneath our feet flashes by.

Back to j-x44 covering his eyes, being led by blaster.

J-X44:

AGHHHH!!!!! Why! Why me, blaster? Why us?

BlASTER:

I dont know, man! All I know is that all we can do is run. Run like scared little bugs. Sometimes we get brave and try to figh back but- Usally though- we keep walking, getting heavier and heavier as we go.

J-X44:

Why must we be heavy?

BLASTER:

Hold my hand, jx44.

EXT-GROSS REDNECK MOBLE HOME-LATE AFTERNOON

We now are on the outskirts of Atlanta, behind an abandoned home. We see an airplane fly overhead, as we are near the airport. We see all remaining autobots, bee, arcee, perceptor, blaster, j-x44, wheeljack, ultra magnus. All the autobots are heavily dented. They all look miserable. Bee has several dents in her, Arcee's left arm is nearly falling off, connected by a few wires, perceptors full of laser blast holes, blaster's been stabbed, with the dagger still inside him. J-x44 is obviously blinded, and dented heavily, blood still on him. Wheeljack fared decently well, with only one bullet hole on his side, Ultra Magnus, however, not so much. He has been shot in the head, and a chunk of his brain is missing.

WHEELJACK:

Ultra Magnus?

UlTRA MAGNUS:

Kill... me.

WHEELJACK:

No. Tough it out, dude. You gotta tough it out.

ULTRA MAGNUS:

I care for no bot... and no bot cares for me...

WHEELJACK:

No dude. Don't start quoting "tale of 2 cities" on me, please.

BEE:

Yeah dude! I cares!

ULTRA MAGNUS:

Whatever.

His eyes turn grey.

WHEELJACK:

Darn. what a buzzkill. You like this guy, bee?

BEE:

Gotta love the unlovable! Its the autobot way!

BLASTER:

Uh huh. Autobot way…I didn’t see any passage in the covenant of primus (thier bible) about tall guys and short girls.

Next to shack

They huddle together next to the shack, beside a monster truck tire.

ARCEE:

Perceptor, the numbers. How many did we lose?

PERCEPTOR:

Many fled, in every which way. Only CLIFFJUMPER and 4 others died. Jetfire, Hotrod, probably captured.

J-x44 next to a gross old tree.Only j-x44 is shown.J-x44 looks at the perceptor with contempt. He flips out.

J-X44:

ONLY??!!?! ONLY??!!?? My best friend is food for the earth now, and he gets no solace, no funeral, nothing, other than an “only”? You’re all sick! sick! Our generation was supposed to fix this mess we're in as a species! Our planet was supposed to be healed by people like us! But no. We have to rob the sons and daughters of Cybertron of their fathers. Their mothers. Their friends. Their choices. Their ability to walk on the planet during June, July and August!

He pants, out of breath.

J-X44:

And for the prime's sake, fix my eyes!

Wheeljack goes over to his sack of misc. stuff he grabbed. He pulls out a white lens, replacing the shattered lens with it. He replaces the cracked lens, too, with a blue one.

WHEELJACK:

I could only find one blue.

Jx44 looking at gross puddle J-x44 blinks, with one white and one blue optic (eyes) He looks in the reflection of the puddle, jumping back.

J-X44:

I can't live like this, man! I need something-something to cover my eyes!

WHEELJACK:

Well, you're in luck.

He goes over to his bag, and pulls out a blue visor.

WHEELJACK:

Try this on.

He tries it. On. Perfect fit. He looks in the puddle, smiling.

J-X44:

Cool!

He starts walking away from the group, stumbling along. The group looks shocked.

ARCEE:

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY LEAVING US?!

BLASTER:

You're only 13 cycles!

PERCEPTOR:

Where would you go?

WHEELJACK:

Would you still be an autobot?

BEE:

We need you!

Jx44 next to gross old tree.

J-X44:

Need me? I've done nothing but cower, complain, and die. Trust me, I'm a better human than a transformer. They're experts in complaining and whinning and dying from what I’ve heard.

SHOWS ENTIRE GROUP EXCEPT FOR JX

BLASTER:

If ya have to go, go. Find yourself. We'll figure out a way to survive.

ARCEE:

I thought we were a family, jx.

BLASTER:

We were a family, but the very roots and branches of the tree that once was us have been destroyed.

PERCEPTOR:

Blaster's right. It'd be best if we separated.

WHEELJACK:

I'm with PERCEPTOR here. Me and Magnus... will figure something out.

BEE:

I'll go with them.

BLASTER:

I'll miss you guys. It really was fun while it lasted.

J-X44:

It was. But I can't go on like this. I abandon my old ways, from this point on! No more cowering! I'm gonna face life full on now, for Optimus!

Hands in the middle

GROUP:

For optimus!!

jx waves goodbye, smiles. A Porsche 911 drives by him.

JX44:

Hello!

which he quickly scans with his eyes. He gains the alt-mode (he can now transform into) the porsche. The blood on him, the dents, they’re gone. He laughs coolly. It appears scanning that car also made him cooler.

J-X44:

Finally, an alt that really suited me! I feel great!

BLASTER:

Woah. Happy alt-mode day!

He runs up beside jx44, and the two walk together, down the late afternoon street.

J-X44:

Woah indeed! I'd say I'm Atlanta ready!

BLASTER:

Guess so, guess so! So you’re stopping here?

J-X44:

Yeah! But-I need a new name. Numbers and letters won't do. Ya got anything'?

BLASTER:

Sure I do! How about... Jazz! That's cool, right?

J-X44:

Heck yeah! I like Jazz. Jazz. Jazz!

BLASTER:

Jazz!

JAZZ:

Make way for JAZZ. You gotta talk to JAZZ. Hey baby, I'm JAZZ!

Blaster looks dignified and courteous.

BLASTER:

My work here is done.

Jazz matches.

JAZZ:

I suppose so.

They dap up, and part ways. Jazz drives down the street, off into the city.

CUT TO:WARM LIGHT

EXT. PINK TULIP FEILD-GOLDEN HOUR

Emmie sits alone on a bench in the field. She has the watch from earlier on.

The camera rises quickly above the field, to the decepticon tower (the tower isnt accually overlooking tulips but the flooooooowwwwwww)

The camera pauses at the tower, and we see Megatron observing her.. He calls out to emmie:

MEGATRON:

Emmie!

EMMIE:

(not visible)

Yes Lord Protectorate!

MEGATRON:

Dinner!

He stares off into the distance, and the Atlanta metro appears out of nowhere, whizzing by, suspended in zero gravity. A train horn honks.

The camera follows the train, and on it, we see human jazz. He is smiling gazing out the window. He gets up and he walks down the train merrily. He passes 10 train cars, getting older in the process. "13" "14" "15" "16" "17" "18" "19" "20" "21" "22" are on top of the train, sybolizing time passing, and he stops at "23" Following stops.

Cut to grey

EXT. MOSSY FEILD-CLOUDY DAY

We see a white moth land on a petunia, next to an amarilis.

Cut to orange

EXT.- INDUSTRIAL BUILDING RUINS-GOLDEN HOUR

We see a monarch land on a pink honeysuckle.

Cut to BLACK.

We see jazz, Megatron, thundercracker, starscream, arcee, bee, ultra Magnus, skywarp, Emmie. Jazz is illuminated a cool blue, thundercracker a bright teal, starscream a dark red, arcee a light pink, bee a brilliant yellow, ultra Magnus white, skywarp dark purple, and Emmie orange. They all crowd together like a yearbook photo. They are all at their age for the show, so after the timelapse. They smile, and everything stops. We see human jazz's hand over the picure, holding a bright rainbow sharpie. He writes "Transformers: Heavy Metal" on top of the image, with rainbow letters.

Heavy metal by blue oyster cult begins playing into the credits.

First credit: Written and Directed by Button Quail.

Post-credit scene!!!!!

INT. RUINED AUTOBOT BASE-NO SPECIFIC TIME

We see ratchet walk into an empty autobot base. Everything looks clean and stuff, just abandoned. He grumbles to himself.

RACHET:

They’re like toddlers. Toddlers! Can’t go on a holiday without something going wrong, can I? Toddlers!!

He walks up to a large computer, and presses a button.

RACHET:

Teletran, what the HECK happened while I was gone? This better be good.

CUT TO: SAME A MINUTE LATER

RACHET:

(Calmly)

Primus protect his soul, and forgive me for what I’m about to do.

(hysterically)

I'M GOING TO MARCH OVER TO THOSE SCUMBAGS AND RIP EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THIER THROATS OUT!!!!

INT-DECPTICON BASE-NO SPECIFIC TIME

The base has Megatron sitting on his throne, Emmie holding a harp, playing it next to him, and a few other autobots/decepticons around them. Starscream is shown behind Megatron, examining his long pink finger nails. They all stop what they were doing when ratchet storms in.

MEGATRON:

Greetings, ratchet. You’ve been informed on the shift in the status quo, correct?

RACHET:

DON”T YOU STATUS QUO ME, TRASH!

(turns around, takes a deep breath, calms down)

Terribly sorry. That was unprofessional. What I mean to say is this: I don’t care what I’m told to accept about our dear leader’s death, I don’t care that you weren’t anywhere near him when he disappeared.

(whispering)

This is all your fault.

(manically happy)

ALL YOURS!!! YOU DID THIS!!! AND NOW, YOU’RE GONNA TO HELL WHEN I KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!!!

MEGATRON:

I am afraid you are ten years too late.

RACHET:

What?

MEGATRON:

Optimus Prime has been dead for a very long time.

RACHET:

ECCUSE ME?!? I LEFT FOR 3 DAYS! 3!

MEGATRON:

Oh yeah. Forgot I sent soundwave over to mess with the time-space continuum on your space bridge. Silly me!

Ratchet grabs a conveniently placed pillow, buries his face deep into it, and screams at the top of his lungs into it. He does this for a solid ten seconds and everyone looks at each other, concerned. Ratchet then tosses the pillow. Smiles manically, flips megatron off, and storms away.

RACHET:

IF ANYONE NEEDS ME, I’LL BE LISTENING TO MCR IN THE MEDICAL WING!

fin.