The Hoary Horse

I agree with the other two. This is one piece of work that will turn readers away. @SAmber you commented as well, and while it seems you were thinking of us in a condescending way, we are not. Although, to me, it seems this isn't you're work by your comment. If this isn't original then I'd rather hear comments from the person who wrote it to help understand it. If you are the writer, then you should up us understand it. Yes, we may not understand this, confusing piece, but going by what we know as 'poetry', I do not believe this fits within the category.
I only see one comma here throughout this while thing. What's the point of only adding that one if you missed several?
Hmmm....reading this again, where it starts at "I'm motionless" and continues. I feel this isn't about a house. More than likely about someone who really is motionless, yet comparing them to something. I don't know, I maybe reading too much into it the longer I look at it and try to figure it out.
But none the less. You posted this and that meant it couple be reviewed. You may not like what they have to say, but remember to show respect because they're taking time to read it. If you didn't want it read you wouldn't have posted it, but you did so it is being read.
Keep that in mind.

Ok, I don't know what exactly to think about this.
At first, I thought that you may have just forgotten to press the enter key so that there would be actual stanzas, but then I looked at the other comments and found that you commented on it yourself . . . and were praising yourself.
I'm not sure if this is really a great idea, considering that you only joined two days ago and haven't reviewed once, and when the last person said something, you kinda talked them down like they were ignorant for not knowing exactly what you were trying to say with this.
And guess what? I don't get this either.
It doesn't make any sense, it's not correctly laid out, the phrasing is weird, the meaning is lost in the maze that is four lines of what appears to be random wording, and the horse is only mentioned once in the entire thing and doesn't really relate to the rest of the piece.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh but it's the truth. And I'm sorry if I'm just not philosophical enough in your opinion, but in mine, I believe you need to step off your high horse and seriously rethink how you're gonna go about addressing your reader from this point forward.
You want them to understand you, not feel beneath you.
That's all I gotta say,
~Maddie

The author is a young poetess with a great vision fill in the gap of fresh poetry in the literary world. She has a vivid and explicit imagery to define her view point. In this prose she described the Hoary Horse as a symbol of soft conscience's voice that is unheard in the brutal world. In spite of so many constraints in this lively but competitive world The Hoary Horse won't give up the hope of reaching the destination. Although the difficult prevailing conditions have been one of the factors for discouragement. The poetess imagery is beautiful and full of poetic fusion and in future her work seems to be one of the distinctive piece of work to attract and impress more evangelist poets. I wish best of luck in her future endeavors and come up with more block buster works for the literary world.

Hi, I'm Slask, er I mean, Dark!

I want to start by saying that I was confused about the entire poem, not that this is a bad thing. It's given me more time to analyze it, see what I was missing. The result? I couldn't make heads or tails of it. I don't think I've ever see a Hoary Horse before, but the idea of a Horse of that color is interesting.


~The dark one.