It Should've Never Been My First Love

RyogaLuver88 wrote:The Love I felt for him,
how strong it was for me.
A desire he that burned him for two years 4
left [s]unoticed[/s] unnoticed.
He loved me,
truly loved me-
A love so different.
[s]Very different.[/s]
[s]Different.[/s]

It was such a love I felt for him. 3
Which I still feel.

Now both lovers are distant,
Boths so blind and sad.
[s]why so distant?[/s]
Why does this love still want to be alive?
Had both hearts forgotten [s]how to be alive[/s]?
So much tragedy;
So much sadness[s].[/s]
and pain.
Misunderstandings. 2
[s]Desire.[/s]
Mainly a tragedy.


A first love, ruined by others,
Poisoned by misconceptions.
Only to have both lovers fight each other.
Have this pained girl desert her lover-
[s]Her lover.[/s]
The one she gave her heart too.
[s]To her pained lover.[/s]
The [s]very [/s]lover who waits.

It should've never been my first love.
Having such tragedy strike.
Resentments fangs shown,
war after war fought:
Wounding a broken heart that is distraught. 1

It never should've been my first love.

First of all, this should be under "lyric poetry" section.
Also, the repetitions really do suck.
Also, this is kind of boring, all general things that we could all know if we didn't even read the poem.
Also, you have too many spelling mistakes. Is it so hard to check it out. It's just one simple click. -.-
1 - I see you have a little rhyme here, but that's almost nothing. Why do you suddenly need a rhyme if you don't have it in poem?
2 - This doesn't fit. What does the misunderstanding have with sadness and pain?
3 - And on, and on, and on...how long is this? You love each other-okay, now tell us what so special about your love, nobody gives a f... about love in general, you must introduce a reader in your poem and tell him what is so special about it
4 - What does this mean???