Hey, it's me, wildwildcat, to engage in a bout of July Christmas reviewing!
Your first chapter is awfully short, and it doesn't set much groundwork for the premise. All we really know is that teenagers are sent somewhere where they play some twisted games and try to survive. There is no clear motive or reason, and the entire concept IS pretty similar to the Hunger Games. Additionally, without any real prior knowledge of Dak's relationship to Alexandria, I can't really figure out if they are friends, acquaintances, or simply strangers. From the dialogue, I can sort of grasp a sense that they have a sense of familiarity, but a little background information would go a long way to helping me understand exactly who they are to each other.
Dak and Alexandria's conversation could be made much more clear if you mentioned who says what after each quote, This reduced the amount of confusion when at the end, it is suddenly Dak who mentions "Danger" and games.
Grammatical errors and fllow ahve been pointed out already.
wildwildcat
Points: 411
Reviews: 15
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