Mating Tears

by Rurouni

Published November 11, 2013

12+

In The Shadow

PreviousNext

Zukotros sits at his desk, looking at a picture of a girl. The one girl in the world he'd give his life for. The one girl in the world who is going to birth his children. The one girl who is the reason he gets up in the morning.

With shaky movements he sets the picture down and rubs his eyes, allowing a few minutes of stillness before standing and pushing the chair in. He smiles at the bed and quickly makes it, moving each blanket with care. He stands for a minute, deciding if anything else is to be done. After a sigh he walks out of his room, closing the door cautiously, as if his lover were sleeping inside.

A child runs up to him, with out stretched arms and he picks up his little brother, grunting to tease the little boy on how big he's gotten.

"Zuko, why were you in your room so long?" The boy asks.

"I was getting it ready for Jeak." He replies, "And what are you doing Neptune?"

Neptune makes a noise, "I was wondering what you were doing. What do you mean ready for Jake?"

Zuko laughs at the mispronunciation, "It's Jeak. Jeke." He kisses his little brother's forehead, "Tonight Jeak and I are going to mate."

"Is it like a lot of kissing or something? What do you do?"

Considering the question and how to answer, Zuko shifts, "Yes, like a lot of kissing. You complete a bond when you mate. Remember when Aunt Star and Uncle Fang-"

Neptune sneezes, startling Zuko enough for him to lose his train of thought.

"Silly. Go on, go mess around with your older sister." Zuko sest him down, after watching the little boy run off, Zuko lets out a wild grin, someday Jeak will be chasing a little boy like that.

Curious if Jeak was awake, he picks up his phone and sends her a message, a few seconds later the device makes a noise and he turns the device on. He freezes in place.

Zukotros, this is Jeak's mother. Jeak is in the hospital.

Hurrying down the hall, he taps on his mother's door, when it opens he hands her the phone. Her blue eyes widen, "Zuko, go check on her." She hands the device back.

After a moment of red eyes starring into blue eyes, he breaks the connection and speeds down the hall, throwing the front door open he unfurls his red-white wings and ascends into the sky.

Minutes later Zuko sits in a chair, waiting for the news of his lover. Head down, watching his shaking fingers. A rough and gentle hand grabs his shoulder, his red eyes look up into the eyes of a doctor. Crimson Red turns green at the sigh of the mortal, and Zuko stands, "Is she alright?"

The doctor sighs, "She's very broken. Who ever got her knew what they were doing. Her wings are broken and we believe one of her lungs is pierced. She probably won't make it."

A low growl from the very soul of Zukotros shakes the air and the doctor steps back, hands up in a submissive pose. But it's too late, Zuko pushes him into the nearest wall, snarling his soul, "Fix her."

"We can't d-" the doctor yelps as Zuko smashes his leg with his own.

"I told you to fix her. You will do as I say or I'll smash your head in and devour your throat. Fix her now."

Shaking the doctor nods, "O-Of course." Zuko lets go and the doctor scurries a few feet away before he's caught by the furious man, "Where is she?"

The doctor points down a hall and is pushed aside as the tall man walks past him.

Upon entering the room Zuko's eyes return red, and he calms in the presence of his Mental Mate.

Rushing to her side he takes her hand, bringing it to his trembling lips. At his touch she moves and grips his hand hard, hissing in pain.

Taking care, he moves the blankets off her body and puts his hand to her ribs, "Shhh. Sevetre Le Movemta." he whispers. She opens her eyes, blinking at him for a long time before closing them again.

Sucking in gasps of breath he closes his eyes, forcing all his energy on her pierced lung. She whimpers and stirs, tightening her grip on his hand.

Letting go with a yelp Zuko collapses to his knees, his energy spent. Jeak cries, grabbing his hand and letting out a cry.

Zuko leans on the bed, shaking, "Are you alright? Is it easier to breathe?"

"Yes." Jeak tells him, "Yes."

Zuko takes the oxygen mask off of his Mate, and presses his lips against hers, choking on tears.

"Look! Zuko and Jake are mating or kissing or whatever!" Comes a small voice.

"I see you and your little brother had quite the talk today." Jeak giggles against his lips.

Zuko laughs, "Don't ever say that again Neptune. Just don't do it bud."

Neptune runs forward, jumping on his older brother's back, "Why not?"

"It doesn't sound right."

"Nothing sounds right."

Jeak smiles, "And to think I was worried I'd die in this bed."

"Not as long as I'm living and-"

Neptune pushes his brother's head forward so Jeak and Zuko are kissing again, "Kissing!"


Several Months later Jeak was out of the hospital. Zuko never left her side.


A few weeks later Zuko found his dream had come true and Jeak was pregnant. Neptune continued to ask questions and annoy his older brother, but when he became an Uncle at the age of seven, he held his chest high as if it were a thing to be proud of, and maybe it was.

Zuko and Jeak named the baby girl Nerteara, which was rubian for kisses.

Comments & reviews · 7
User avatar
Renard
Review
Renard wrote a review Review · Jan 17, 2014

Hey...

The names were kind of hard to swallow at first here, but apart from that, I got used to the fairly quickly.

Content wise, I couldn't really see the humour here.

'A few weeks later Zuko found his dream had come true and Jeak was pregnant.' I thought you were actually dealing with a very serious issue at the end of the day, but I also thought you handled it very tastefully.

I enjoyed reading this work.

I would have perhaps made it a little bit shorter, but aside from that...

Great work.

Well done.

User avatar
TimmyJake
Review
TimmyJake wrote a review Review · Dec 29, 2013

Timmyjake here to give you a review as requested! I just hope this was one you wanted a revew for! :)

Ok, so I really liked this. Your style of writing is really cool and I love your plot. It seems like some kind of a winged superhuman or something. Cool. :D

The names in this are very original, and I love that! You should see the names I give my characters! ;)

At some parts in this, you tend to have a lot of talking, but not much thought and doing. During the part when Neptune came in and found them kissing, Zuko should stroke her hair, or bonk Neptune on the head. I don't know what, but there needs to be something in between all that talking to break things up.

I actually really like Neptune. You have capture a seven year old boy perfectly! My little bro would do exactly the same thing if he walked in one someone kissing. And they are always annoying, always. So good job on creating him. I would guess you have a younger brother? :D

I like how you put magic in there, healing her. But one thing still puzzles me. If he healed her, why did she spend so long in the hospital? You should tell wether he healed her or didn't heal her when he is exhausted after trying.

I think that is all I have to critique! This was really good. I loved how you created your characters so perfectly. Happy Review day and Happy Writing!
~Timmyjake

Haha! Thanks! You'd be surprised to know I don't have any siblings! I guess I'm just good at guessing what they act like XD

User avatar
hopeless03
Review
hopeless03 wrote a review Review · Dec 10, 2013

Hello hopeless03 here to give you a review:D

I liked they names they had, they were very different. And I liked that, you also had good grammar and spelling. This story is just long enough for it to be good. I love they way you wrote it, it seems thought out and very good. Great job on it. You have a great talent here.

Keep writing and stay beautiful

-Sara

CreativelyWritten commented Comment · Nov 29, 2013

The names in this story were very different. Are the characters angels? Well, whatever the case may be I really liked it.

Not really angels but thats an easy way to say it.

User avatar
TGS
Review
TGS wrote a review Review · Nov 12, 2013

I liked how you foreshadowed that some thing was going to happen to jeak with "closing the door cautiously, as if his lover were sleeping inside" it was very cleaver. I love the names they are great and very creative. The way you told what happens after the end it was nice and happy. I found it a bit confusing at parts but apart from that I think the story was good. You followed one of the mainstream rules of story making with the four segments ; Every things all good, Some thing go's wrong, Solve the problem and Every thing is back to normal and cheerful. I enjoyed the story it was great and creative.

User avatar
anshira
Review
anshira wrote a review Review · Nov 12, 2013

Hi, hope my review makes your day. The little brother certainly sounds cute. But, though the story has a lot of confusion. The fact that Zuko threatened the doctor and he obliged- was far off factual. Then, until I reached the end, I didnt realise that he was dreaming. It rather was a surprise- an unpleasant one for me.

I liked the way the characters are described- it feels as if you are right in the story. I also love the way you have expressed the emotions. The romance was my favourite part.

Overall- a well written story full of cuteness!

- Anshira

He wasn't dreaming... How'd you get that idea?

I thought that because of him stating that his dreams had come true and so on. I am sorry though

User avatar
Omi1
Review
Omi1 wrote a review Review · Nov 11, 2013

I loved the names, very different. The story was well written, too. It was an easy read and that makes it all the better. I think you should go into more detail about this world that they live in. It sounds terribly fascinating, but I don't have enough information to make it unforgettable. Secondly, I hated the ending. You spent so much effort building up to that moment where Zuko and Jeak were together and then you ended it far to quickly with a: "and they had a baby". I would have personally left that part up to the imagination, although the name for the baby was beautiful... :) Also, I have a problem with combination you have with the "mating" mixed with "phones". When I think of mating, I think of a primitive culture, when I think of phones I think of a literate advanced culture. These two combinations do not clash well. And I found it weird that Zuko would threaten to kill the doctor if he didn't do anything to help Jeak, and yet, Zuko was able to save Zeak's life without much a problem anyways.

Other than that, I have to say well done, especially on your description and the emotion you put in the story to make the characters come to life. They were well developed, especially the little boy, even though he wasn't in the story very much. Again, I loved the names, and I wish you the best in your writing endeavors! :)



But there was no goat man, there was NEVER any goat man!
— OSP Red