Three accounts I as a person believe counts .
Number one : belief , I believe that we need belief and sacrifice not only given by us but also by someone . A person we reside in , a person we adore and a person we live by . No matter what the situation I reside in one person who is determined , unprejudiced , and has no preconception of what I mean to her .
Number two : inspiration , we all need inspiration , a muse , a reality . Watching that person who inspires you , creeps and grows on us as beutifully as a rose does on its thorns . We sometimes never realise how a person can change and influence our lives for our creativity . Following them becomes us and we become them .
Number three: love , I'm not talking about the quintessential lovers on rainbows and flying butterflies but the cataclysm of love . The need , the want and the chase . I believe love is such a powerful dimension that I want to get lost in the labyrinth and never want to be found again . It's a force of such intensity we never realise when it hit us and when we recovered . But we always remember the pain it caused in that one second it was found . People may say it's magical but I say it's worth the while .
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,817 Reviews
I agree with you. This is a beautiful essay. I really like the way you wrote it. The only thing is that when you wrote it, you have added too many spaces between words. But that can always be fixed.
I, too have three accounts that I believe in:
1. Kindness: it is so beautiful. It is probably one of the greatest things you can ever receive. Unfortunately, not everyone is born with it. But be kind to all, whether they are your friends or your enemies or even if they are just strangers. Smile. Be cheerful. It will surely not be easy, but to just try is very, very beautiful.
2. Consideration: it may the same as kindness, but being considerate for others is amazing. I am sure that in the future you will come across people who will want to talk to you about their feelings and emotions. Listen to them. Be gentle. Try to help them in the best way you can. As I said before, it will not be easy.
3. Perseverance: without this gift, nothing can every be accomplished. I don't want to give up on my writing if something hard comes in my way. I will never give up on it, I will PERSEVERE! I will not give up my dreams that I hold. Keep dreaming. Even if it doesn't come true, at least you had that hope. Never lose hope. Again, it will not be easy.
But, again, TRY to the very depths of your soul. Be kind, considerate, and perseverant. There are other things that you need, but these three things are necessary to have.
Thank you. I think I have said enough. Again, your essay is beautiful. Good luck and keep writing! Never give up!!!
I really enjoy this lovely piece of work! It is very interesting and really gives the reader something to think about. I really like the words you used, and how you placed them to make the piece seem more intense and less bland and boring. This is a really good piece and I would definitely recommend it to someone for a good read.
-claire72
This was definitely an interesting and intellectually stimulating piece of work. I enjoy your thoughts. I was slightly bothered by the misspellings, but we all make mistakes. Your ideas are great,and what you are trying to say makes sense. I definitely agree with ChocolateCello about being able to improve your work! You have a blossoming talent. I am excited to see it grow. I wish you luck and look forward to seeing more stuff from you!
This was definitely an interesting and intellectually stimulating piece of work. I enjoy your thoughts. I was slightly bothered by the misspellings, but we all make mistakes. Your ideas are great,and what you are trying to say makes sense. I definitely agree with ChocolateCello about being able to improve your work! You have a blossoming talent. I am excited to see it grow. I wish you luck and look forward to seeing more stuff from you!
Hey! ChocolateCello here!
First off, welcome to YWS!
This work was great but I have a few minor things to point out.
In the second part you say "Following them becomes us and we become them ." I feel like this is poor wording, not quite getting your meaning across. It's a tad unclear and I had to reread it a few times to understand what you were saying.
The last sentence, ("People may say it's magical but I say it's worth the while . "), is a little off too. The word 'But' should be used for contrast. Saying that it's magical is a positive and so is saying that it's worth while. You need something to be negative, (I suggest the first part so you can keep the 'I say it's worth while'.)
Finally, a minor mistake that you made throughout the entire piece, was your spacing with the punctuation. For example, "The need , the want..." should be "The need, the want". There shouldn't be a space between the "need" and the comma. You did the same things with periods. "...of what I mean to her . " This should be "...of what I mean to her." There is need for there to be a space between the "her" and the period. You do this through out the entire work so keep an eye out for some unneeded spaces.
You are obviously very skilled when it comes to writing and I hope to see some more from you soon.
-ChocolateCello