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Young Writers Society



LIfE

by RubinLikes2Write


This isn't all of it and i realize its extremely choppy btw this is basically the first time anyones read it...

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This is a story about me, obviously. It’s quite a depressing story if I do say so myself. It's filled with hate, blood lust, and sweet, sweet revenge. I don’t make it sound like a good story, but I don’t really care! I think I have earned the right of telling my story the way I see it. If you don’t want to read any further, even before you've read the first page that just goes to show that you are absolutely awful at telling what a good book is! In the ninety-five years I’ve lived, my life has not even gotten remotely better, in fucking fact it got worse! Thank god I’m very close to death now so that is why I tell it. That is why I bring back memories of my awful life. So instead of Ava, and Katie being remembered, I write about myself. To prove that only half of a fairy tale comes true. It sounds hokey doesn’t it? My name is Elizabeth Johnson and I am the very opposite of a saint.

Where I grew up was about the worst place anyone could my counties capital. When I first heard that in other countries, one of the best places to raise a child was in the capital, I was so Fricken shocked; my mandatory kinder garden mentor thought I was retarded! The rest of the year he would say, “DO. YOU. UNDER-STAND?”

Anyway Lawboynya, Rollon was one sickly place to live; the air was so humid that it felt like you were choking on water. Even if you weren’t moving and just sitting around, smoking some pot, you were covered with sweat. Absolutely awful! In fact most people were suicidal because of it. It did not help that nearly every building had tobacco smoke, or some other drug smoke drifting out of the glassless, decaying, burnt windows and doors! The streets are about as clean as constipated, donkey’s hindquarters too. And the police were the drug dealers, big surprise there.

The houses were in awful shape. The roofs caved in, and yet people still lived in them. My own house included. In the one room that was the kitchen/entrance hall/living room, had the roof cave in. In a corner there was a wasp nest that no one dared get rid of in case, where he or she got stung, the irritated skin bump would be scratched off and get infected. I and my twin Jake’s room were half burnt because when our father was drinking Burning Spirits he tripped and the glass, still flaming, fell into my room. I wasn’t burned, but Jake’s entire left side burned. My older brother Robert joked “At lease it goes with the belt scars on your back!” The joke was true. But not appreciated at that time.

The King was powerful, stupid, crazy, merciless, tyrant! Long list huh? His two surviving daughters Katie and Ava manipulated him.

Personally I thought that Ava was pure, unadulterated evil! The rest of the royal family except Katie hasn’t been seen for nearly a month so there was a rumor going around. Supposedly, she killed her mom, her five older brothers and three older sisters just to get closer to the crown, and the only reason why her twin was still alive today was because she came out of her mother’s womb one and a half minutes after Ava. Princess Katie is one lucky girl.

The already crowded streets got even more crowded as the monkey gangs fought one another. Sometimes wait, no, MOST of the time killing humans. Damn monkeys those guys are EVIL! When the gangs weren’t fighting, someone or something was. Homeless, starving children beat the hell out of one another trying to get some gone bad meat. Cats spat, and hissed at one another. Feral dogs bit humans and other animals often starting diseases. The sad part is everyone had to use old dull butter knives to fight. Guns and even normal kitchen knives nobody could afford unless they were rich. Now you may think that I'll be saying only the middle class people and up could afford these things a lot. So let me clarify things. Are middle class is your upper class. Our upper class is your heaven. Our dregs of society are your middle classes. Are Ho Bo's are your dead people. So if things stayed like this and then time went ahead oh however many years in the future we would all be pretty well off.

Yet it was the most prospering city, and then country in the world! I asked my father about why that is once; he laughed and said,

“In other countries you can’t get drugs and alcohol as easily as you can get it in Lawboynya. So drugs and alcohol are promised if we do the work we are supposed to do. Also, in other countries if your caught giving out, or taking drugs you get thrown in with the rats! Do you want YOU’RE sweet, old, pop to get thrown behind bars?” Of course I said

“No daddy”. But in my head, Yes! I wish someone would throw you in Jail! Our city was like a black hole at the center of the galaxy. Everything spirals away from the middle, but everything that’s close is rotten, and tainted. The cities and towns on the boarder are O.K., probably because it’s the farthest from the black heart of the country.


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User avatar
7 Reviews


Points: 1040
Reviews: 7

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Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:53 am
sireal wrote a review...



wow this is choppy

Now you may think that I'll be saying only the middle class people and up could afford these things a lot. So let me clarify things. Are middle class is your upper class. Our upper class is your heaven. Our dregs of society are your middle classes. Are Ho Bo's are your dead people. So if things stayed like this and then time went ahead oh however many years in the future we would all be pretty well off.


that doesnt even make sense...btw are and our are two seperate ways of saying that

My older brother Robert joked “At lease it goes with the belt scars on your back!” The joke was true. But not appreciated at that time.


makes sense but wouldnt he have then too...explain more.

The streets are about as clean as constipated, donkey’s hindquarters too.


now that is just plain funny :) the rest is really good!!




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198 Reviews


Points: 3
Reviews: 198

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Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:08 pm
Dreamworx95 wrote a review...



Huh. Wow. Well, that was...interesting. In a good way, I really, really enjoyed that. It's really not something you read very often. I love the MC's crude sense of humor. And damn, they live in one crappy ass city, and by the way I had a little trouble pronouncing the name. I said it like this: La-boi-nia. Is that right? Eh, idk. Sounds like a French word.

Some things I suggest you fix:

Are middle class is your upper class...Are Ho Bo's are your dead people.

You confused "are" and "our". BIG difference...I hope you know that.

Where I grew up was about the worst place anyone could my counties capital.

......wait, what? What does that mean? I think you meant to put a semi colon between "my" and "country". Makes a big impact. There were also some other parts I had trouble understanding, but I'll leave that to you to figure out, or for other reviewers to point out for you.

In conclusion, I really really liked this. It's odd and original and funny - a very good combination. You have my attention, and if you write another chapter, I'd like to read it. PM me when you put it up, got it?

Ciao, keep dreamin'

Dream.




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80 Reviews


Points: 6066
Reviews: 80

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Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:56 pm
100xstupid wrote a review...



Hi, I'm Matt, and I'll be reviewing for you today. Soooo.....

I did get a little lost on a few occasions, and I'm unsure about this royal family buissness. Are they actually royal, or some kind of gang? There were a few paragraphs that just flew over my head, and I have another point about exclaimation marks. You used them to the point where they were just like full stops. Some need to be replaced, so that when you do use an exclaimation mark, it stands out. Anyway, I'll be following the story. Keep it up :D





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