Fear

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Ross was breathing very shallowly. His eyes darted around the swamp he was in, nervously checking with the dim light of his lamp if anything was there. His car had broken down in the middle of nowhere, and he couldn't get a signal on his phone to call a repairman. Shaking, he moved forward onto a wooden bridge, which led to the other side of the swamp. He could see a single beam of sunlight shining through the clouds, leading him to what he hoped was safety. With a breath, he stepped on the bridge. He'd always had a fear of unknown places, and was terrified of fish. He looked down into the black sludge of the swamp to see... nothing. He was still shaking. Hopelessly, he tried to calm himself, reassure him that help was on the other side.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bridge, a woman was waiting there. She was lost, and was too scared of the dark to go onto the bridge. She just stood there, trembling with fear.

Ross took another step. A plank of wood dislocated itself and fell into the sludge, being bashed and torn up by the swamp. "Well" he thought ironically, "At least I know what happens if you fall in". Then, Ross seemed to get a spurt of confidence. He took another shaky step, as his legs finally gave way due to fear. He crashed down, making the bridge shake. It swayed and swayed, as he held on for dear life. Then, after an eternity, it had stopped. Steadying himself, he got up, and looked down at his body. He was ok, but still terrified. Looking ahead, he noticed the bridge had broken at the end. "Shit" he moaned to himself in a soft, silk voice. "What do I do now?" He considered his options. He could make the jump if he got a long enough run-up. He kept himself quite fit, and was confident he could jump it. Alternatively, he could go round the bridge, look and see if there's another bridge. He made up his mind. He came this far, he kept on going. He was not the sort of man to give up after five seconds. Stumbling, whilst gripping onto the rope that prevented him falling in, he found the edge of the bridge. He looked at it with a hatred in his eyes. "Whoever's built this bridge can rot in hell." he smiled quietly to himself. Cursing got a little bit of the anger out. "All I wanted to do was go see my parents, but no, one problem after another" he thought bitterly to himself. "Firstly," he began to himself, "The place is far away. Then, I lose my phone in my car. Then, the crap car breaks down. And now" he snarled loudly, "I have to cross a fucking bridge on my own, in the dark, with nobody to guide me expect a fucking light. Yeah, I'm talking to you, you annoying prick." He gave the finger to the light. Then, nothing. He stood there, panting, and exhausted. Finally, he stood up straight, balanced himself, walked all the way back, and started running, He ran very elegantly, very quickly, with a sense of grace. Then, as he jumped, landing with a roll to the side, the bridge collapsed. It was swept away, and blocked up a small part. He got up painfully, and stared at what he had done. He gave a small nod of appreciation, and walked into the light.

Hey, RossLighting! It's ScytheMeister here for a quick review

First of all, I love the title. It's so secretive, almost. You've implied fear to be the concept, but that's all we know. I felt like it really intrigues the reader.

Secondly, I believe (I may be wrong) that the bridge was the metaphor/symbol of fear for the main character; in order to overcome his fear, he had to "cross over the bridge". If so, it was genius and an amazing representation!

There were minor grammar details, such as the first sentence.

Ross was breathing very shallowly.

It might have been smoother to say 'Ross's breaths were shallows' rather than that he was breathing dry shallowly. I also suggest "Shaking" be replaced by "shakily".

"He'd always had a fear of unknown places, and was terrified of fish." Doesn't seem to make sense. It might be better to say "He always had a fear of unknown places, as well as fish."

"Hopelessly, he tried to calm himself by reassuring himself that help was on the other side." Would he a better way to say that in my opinion.

"Meanwhile, on the other side of the bridge, a woman stood, trembling with fear. She was lost, and too scared of the dark to go onto the bridge, so she stayed in place." wouod be a better way to say that.

"Well," he thought ironically' would be correct

I also suggest you google how to properly punctuate dialogue