Everyone I know fears death,
Thoughts, sights, and smell
I’ve thought of death, I’ve envisioned death, and I’ve smelt death.
I don’t fear it.
I don’t hate it.
Everyone I know loves roses,
Thoughts, sights, and smell
I’ve thought of roses, I’ve envisioned roses, and I’ve smelt roses.
I don’t love them.
I don’t hate them.
But if death smelled of roses and not of rot,
Would we be so afraid?
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Canary word: Present
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I really like your poem. There is a set through line and it's understandable. The sensory and descriptive writing is really good and in some senses it is very true. Lot's of people do fear death. You put a lot of thought into this, made it work and actually give people imaginary. I don't like many poems but this is very good and it drew me in straight away
Foxtail13 x
Hi there, LGF here for a review.
I thought this was a solid poem, that had some really interesting themes and ideas.
I liked your new spin on death, and thought it was interesting that you associated death with roses, and your question at the end was quite effective in wrapping up the poem.
Everyone I know fears death,
Thoughts, sights, and smell
I’ve thought of death, I’ve envisioned death, and I’ve smelt death.
I don’t fear it.
I don’t hate it.
I liked the start to the poem as it instantly drew me in. It was quite interesting that you didn't fear it or hate it and that sort of drew me in. Great start overall.
Everyone I know loves roses,
Thoughts, sights, and smell
I’ve thought of roses, I’ve envisioned roses, and I’ve smelt roses.
I don’t love them.
I don’t hate them.
But if death smelled of roses and not of rot,
Would we be so afraid?
The repitition here really worked wonders for the poem and seat a nice steady beat. Like I said before, I really liked the question at the end because it wrapped up the poem and made me think.
Overall, really nice poem.
Keep up the good work and welcome to YWS!
LGF
I really like your poem. It puts to words some thoughts I've had myself so I do thank you for that. There's nothing wrong with this poem to me, and nothing I would change. Amazing job!
I just wanna thank everyone who comment and reviewed my work. Thank you.
Hey there, Romania! There is almost nothing wrong with this poem, except for the second-to-last line, "But it death smelled of roses and not of rot," where the word "it" should have been "if". Other than that, you did, in my opinion, an excellent job. I agree with the lines
"But it death smelled of roses and not of rot,
Would we be so afraid?"
because I'm pretty sure more people wouldn't hate death if it smelt really good, and not like old, sweaty socks that had been sprayed by a skunk.
Hasta la Vista,
DeltaEcho
I found this poem to have a very bitter sweet taste to it. Roses, also, I find to be a rather strange flower to associate death to. I've heard of daisies growing on graves and I think lilies are usually given during funerals - then again I've only really been to one funeral in my life so I'm not really an expert.
Death is a subject which has been used a lot of times in poetry. It's nothing new. However, I liked your take on the subject and how you likened something devastating to some delicate.
The way you opened up your poem was, for me, the best part. While I'm sure everyone has thought of death, envisioning and smelling death is something not many have. Which is what I liked the most about this poem. It has a strange take on death and almost praises it in a strange way - or perhaps that's just my take on this poem.
I liked how you used repetition here. It really hammers in the subject matter.
I also liked how you ended on a question which really makes this poem stick with readers after they have read it.
The main reason I like this poem is because you didn't deal with the tragedies of death. In my experiences with poems, that really hasn't been done before. Granted there are poems which romanticizes death, this poem takes on the theme of death in a new and unique way.
Great poem, keep it up!
Romania, hello! If you're still a little confused, let me know, and I'll help you!
There was only one nitpick, it was minor, even for a nitpick. Look, "it" is supposed to be "if".
"But it death smelled of roses and not of rot..."
Oh, and also, is there any reason for capitalizing all of the lines? It is unnecessary, weird, and weird especially after the commas. Well, never mind that, I'm sure you'll fix all the errors in this beautiful poem. I am scared of death, not of the smell, but the feeling, and what's to come. If death smelled like roses, I would be just as scared. It's like having corpses in a flower shop. No offense to your amazing work. Keep writing and reviewing, Romania!
-wisegirl22
Hey, Viv here.
Beautiful poem, I get your point and I'm not one to fear death either. You only have one mistake, as far as I can see, The "it" in the second to last line should be "if". That is all. You're a very philosophical thinker Romania, I like you other poems.