The Sea of Night

by Roland

Published March 11, 2005

You look beautiful still
After all these years
Not a day has passed
For my heart is true
And I still love you
Lying there caressed by moonlight
Like a silky smooth film
Just touching your skin
Every curve in outline
Every move a ripple
In the sea of night
We are the waves
Our love the light

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Incandescence
Review
Incandescence wrote a review Review · Mar 11, 2005

"After all these years"?

You're...14, you know? Unless you suffer from the Oedipus Complex, I think you romanticized the poem and metastasized it into something putridly manic. At any rate...

I don't like lovey-dovey poems like this because they are romantic (pun intended). Love is not like this; getting the girl you've lusted after for 3 years might, however, but I doubt that's what you were aiming for. You need to be realistic whenever you write about your experiences, and you need concrete imagery, too. Both of these you lacked. Emerson and Thoreau died in 19th century.

User avatar
bluecows
Review
bluecows wrote a review Review · Mar 11, 2005

I really don't know what to say apart from...
no, I don't know what to say. I know it's not helpful but I can't think of much to sy about this poem, apart from that i like it.

Keep up the good work and have a lovely day
~blue~ :wink:



As a former (and rather excellent) liar herself, Aru knew that, sometimes, speaking the truth felt like wrenching a thorn out of your side. But doing the opposite meant pretending it wasn't there. And that made every single step ache. It was no way to live.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality