Published July 7, 2012
In the morning, by the sea
When people walk so biased-ly,
Do they hear the waves sing free?
The sand beneath, embracing thee?
Summer noons, much sweating still;
Yet do you hear the windowsill,
Calling out to leaves, with will?
The arid air’s a-waltzing thrill?
When winter days do bare their smile
Road, with painted snow, for miles
Then, do you hear, in raspy style,
The chilly breeze? Symphonies piled?
And lovely like the falling rain
The monsoon music, cease to wane!
The heavy-hearted clear the pain
Do you hear the rhythm reign?
Late at night, upon your bed,
Thinking of the words unsaid,
Do you hear the crooning dead,
Singing softly in your head?
Music fails to leave your lies
Music comes with sweet disguise
Music loves to shun demise
Music lingers in your sighs
Music comes a stays a day,
Caresses you in myriad ways
Lets you win, or makes you pray
A promise in this thorny maze
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I am definitely not a poetry expert or anything but this is a really great poem. I loved the rhyming in it and the way it flowed. Normally it bugs me when people try to use old words like "thee" and "Thou" and that sort of stuff, but it worked well in this poem. I think the only thing I have to point out is that when you said "The arid air's a-waltzing thrill" it sounded a little weird (though it's probably just me, I would reread the first sentence in this review again) I think it's because "arid" and "air" are so similar and so close together that it kind of messes up the flow. They both sound the same until you add "id" to arid. Anyways, I really loved this, it was great and meaningful.
Thank you, Raelyn! But doesn't "arid air" have a rhythm to it? Like, an extended form of alliteration? Thanks again, for your lovely words. Much, much appreciated.
ALLITERATION <33333