Imperfection
Imperfection is when you
ran up and down the aisles
at church when you were three.
When you cried on the first day
of kindergarten because your
mom wasn’t going to be there.
When you got a B+ on the math
test you studied so hard for.
When you didn’t know what to
say when your crush asked you
to the school dance.
When you failed your driver’s
test and everyone else already
had their license.
When you didn’t get accepted
into the college of your choice.
When you sang “I Will Survive”
the night before your wedding
at your bachelorette party.
When you stayed up until
one o’clock in the morning,
rocking your daughter to
sleep in your arms.
When you worked hard
at a low-paying job to help
support your family.
When you held your
grandson’s hand at his
grandpa’s funeral.
When you fell asleep in
the hospital dreaming about
heaven and never woke up.
Imperfection is doing and knowing
all the little things that make you perfect.
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Canary word: Present
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Great poem...I can find no mistakes, but then again I was so absorbed in your poem I wouldn't have noticed.
I can't believe only two people have commmented on your poem, I think it's beautiful. It can relate to people's lives and experience. Their failures which in fact does make us imperfect but oh so human. Proof reading is the hardest thing (I find anyway) to do but it makes for such better reading. I feel almost emotional after reading this poem. Really very very good.
If you ever want an ego boost or just some help feel free to message me
B.E.G xxxx
Your message is true (at least in my eyes) and I respect that.
I enjoyed how you related the things to simple everyday life problems and situations. I liked the short direct messages which displayed the imperfections. The only thing I found slightly off was the repetition of the "When you.." phrase at the beginning of each part. I found that it didn't quite tie the poem together and made it look like small sentences.
Keep it up, I enjoyed the overall message a lot and I hope to see more of your work.
-Josh
(ps This is my first review so It may not be as helpful as others may be)
AN
Just a note. These are supposed to be spaced out stanzas, sorry!