Published January 17, 2008
The Moon hides
when it is clouded
by the smoke of dying fire and
the death of a new beginning.
Stars have heard our voices
and weep rain with us,
watering the corpses
with the cry of merciful gods.
The thump, thump
of beating hearts
moan away the deafening quiet.
Then somewhere, a rocket:
I smile when the red wings
of a phoenix pierce through
the suffocating vaccuum
of the night.
-----
A retake on the epic-feely style. I hope I don't suck this time?
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141,368 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Yes, I agree with Silly Sydestix up there. That was most definitely my favorite part.
I'm not much of a poetry critic, so I couldn't tell you with an informed opinion whether or not this "sucked", but with an uninformed one, I can say that I really liked this. I never thought of fireworks this way.
*applause*
~GryphonFledgling
I loved it. ^_^ This was my favorite line:
That was fantastic description right there. Great work!
~*Syd*~