Save the World

Prologue

Our world, as we know it, is ending. Our families have been imprisoned, our houses are under watch 24/7. We've been reduced to rags, hiding in starvation, living where ever we can manage to get to, #FF0000 ">(They can GET to a lot of places...why not where they can get to and stay safe?) using whatever we can get our hands on #FF0000 ">(Use what to do what?). Want to know the hardest part? Having to keep moving when all you really want to do is lay down and let your self-#FF0000 ">_ pity #FF0000 ">(No space there.) crush you. You can't stand up to them, you're far too weak from your lack of food. You can try to hide, but it's extremely difficult. #FF0000 ">Why is it difficult? Are the people who look for these runaways experts at something, or what? Anxiety is high, food is scarce, and all you have to live for is each other. Four fourteen year-old's are going to save the world, whether it kills them (likely) or not (hopefully). #FF0000 ">This last line feels tacked on. It goes from describing the world to the basics of the plot quite suddenly. It also feels very, VERY cliched.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The mice kept me up all night.

After watch, all I wanted to do was lay down and get a couple of hours of sleep in. Too much to ask? Apparently. The warehouse we stopped in for the night was musty and humid, and sweat was dripping off of my face. I groaned and sat up. Another sleepless night. Letting my eyes adjust to the darkness of the warehouse, I took in everything around me. Bare cements floors stretched all around me. I was in mine and Rachel's room, which was across the floor from Cody and Rudy's room. An old assembly line was below our floor#FF0000 ">; we were on the third floor of the building. The first floor was a very shabby lobby that no one has used in years, or so it seems. #FF0000 ">(Why "or so it seems?" Seems pretty abandoned to me.) Everything is covered in dust and mouse droppings, and I could not wait to get moving. We couldn't stay in one place for long, in fear of the Hunters. They were fast, they were elite, they were unstoppable. And they were after us, the runaways with no food, no home, and no clue how to fight. I was changing that though. (That sentence makes it sound like he/she is trying to change all those things at once, not just the fighting aspect.) Every chance we got, we would all practice different #FF0000 ">combat techniques and skills, and even though we were basically starving to death, we were very fit. A smug smile crept across my face, and in spite of everything, I still had hope. We were going to survive this. Even if it cost us our lives, #FF0000 ">(So...they were going to survive, but they might die? That makes no sense.) we were dedicated to saving our world from what has happened to it, ever since He took over. Nothing has been the same, and probably never will. But we couldn't just let it end like this, #FF0000 ">without a fight.

“Can't sleep?” Rachel's silhouette appeared in the door way. I jumped probably #FF0000 ">five feet in the air. #FF0000 ">(Small numbers, like five and thirteen, should be spelled out.)

“Stupid mice don't understand the concept of 'SHH!'” I said, my voice hoarse from not talking in a while. She laughed.

“We're almost out of water. I hope the boys get back soon.” Her voice was light with amusement, and I envy her optimism. Under the circumstances, she had the most hope of us all.

“Where'd they go?” I asked warily. You really never knew with #FF0000 ">the boys. I swear they were going to get us caught.

“Supplies. I would offer you water, but Rudy thought it'd be funny to dump it all over Cody. I made them go scour for supplies.” #FF0000 ">)I'm not sure what word to use instead of supplies the second time, but it feels like shes explaining herself twice.) The smile was wiped off her face, and she shook her head.

“It's like we're working with infants.” I said disgustedly.

“You're telling me! Rudy told me to clean up the mess!” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“You're kidding me. Did you?” I asked, almost unbelieving.

“Yeah...” She said almost sheepishly. I'd given her enough lectures about letting guys push her around.

“Rachel!” I said exasperated.

“I know, I know. But he wasn't going to do it, and neither was Cody. You wouldn't do it either, and you know it.” She defended.

“Hun, we are currently inside a vacant warehouse. Who cares if a little water gets on the floor?” My head shook itself automatically. If everything was different, she would have grown up to be the perfect house wife. Too bad reality is going to take her innocence away#FF0000 ">...the thought laced through my mind before I could stop it.

“I do. We live here, its our responsibility.” She argued, flopping down on the make-shift bed next to me, which was actually a couch we found in a dumpster #FF0000 ">(Dumpster isn't capitalized.) close to the building.

“We do not live here,” I corrected her, “This is the stop for the night.” My voice was hard and that was the end of the discussion.

“I'll take watch until the boys get back. You need some sleep.” I got up and walked out of the doorway and into the hall. Cursing myself silently, I spun around and walked back into the room. I forgot my daggers. Where was my mind?!

Rachel was already out cold from exhaustion. I couldn't blame her. Now I'd be behind on my sleep on top of everything else. I grabbed my daggers from underneath my pillow, the one Rachel wasn't using, and snuck back out of the room. Jewel-encrusted hilts, perfectly balanced 4 inch blades, my daggers are deadly. They weren't my weapon of choice, but I could still kill #FF0000 ">with them I had to. Actually, my Sia's #FF0000 ">(What's a Sia?) were my greatest weapons, which I was skilled in and highly dangerous. Rachel specialized in archery, and could kill with pinpoint accuracy. We saw no need for modern weapons. Cody and Rudy, on the other hand, loved guns and modern technology.

I climbed the short ladder that would lead me up to my lookout point. It was a crawlspace that I hollowed out. It would suffice for the days we stayed there. I wasn't sure how long we would stay there, actually. It was well hidden, and so far we've had no unexpected company. It might be nice to have a main head quarters. We could still travel and such, but as long as the Hunters didn't find this place, we could stay here for the long run.

I looked around the building, bored out of my mind, and found myself dozing off. I slapped myself in the face. Now was not a good time to sleep, especially when I'm on guard duty, waiting for Cody and Rudy to come back. I wondered where the idiots were, when I heard a crash, a muffled “Ow!”, and saw dust raising from the other side of the building. I jumped out of the vent and took off at a run, almost ran into Rachel as she came plowing out of our room, and pulled my daggers out of their holders. We barreled over the rail and landed lithely on our feet a floor under, where the dust was raising. I saw that a car had crashed through the side of our warehouse and I stopped next to Rachel. It was a jet black Excursion, with tinted windows and huge tires. We circled the rubble cautiously, almost sure that this was a very bad situation, when Cody and Rudy fell out of it, laughing like a bunch of maniacs. Relief pounded through me and I urged my adrenaline to go away. I put a glare on my face and before I could open my mouth to bitch them out, #FF0000 ">but Rachel beat me to it.

“What the HELL where you thinking? You could've DIED#FF0000 ">, you MORONS!” She yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. I stifled a giggle. Rachel hardly ever got mad, but it was hilarious when she did. Just imagine two buff guys cowering in fear of a short#FF0000 ">, big#BF0000 ">-blue eyed girl, and you'd laugh too.

“We got a car!” Rudy said in surprise, like he thought he did a good job.

“Which you crashed into our only hideout.” I pointed out with a half smile. I knew what it felt like to do something awesome then screw it up and have everyone mad at you.

“It's still in one piece! The car, I mean.” Cody defended, flipping his long brown #FF0000 ">hair (?) out of his even darker brown eyes.
“Now we'll have to have two lookouts! We're exhausted and your out stealing cars and crashing them into stuff!” Rachel said, still clearly pissed off.

“We don't need this hideout anymore, we have a car.” Rudy said.

“A car with no where to go!” I said.

“We can go anywhere in the world!” Rudy argued.

I rolled my eyes.

“Just because you have a car doesn't mean you can go anywhere. The Hunters?” I reminded.

“I wish we'd have a little action. It's getting boring around here.” Cody sighed. I had to agree with him. Fighting was all we could do. Fighting was all I wanted to do.

“We could do combat training?” I suggested, with a smile and a wicked gleam in my eye.

“With you? No thanks.” Rachel said.

“Yeah, I'd rather keep all my body parts, thanks.” Rudy agreed.

I looked at Cody.

“What else do you have to do?” I demanded.

“Absolutely nothing. Let's go.” He smiled that cocky, arrogant smile, and I couldn't wait to beat it off him.

We walked to the very back of the warehouse where we had found a bunch of cushions and bubble wrap. Spreading it all out, it didn't hurt as bad as landing on the concrete floor. I pulled my long red hair back into a ponytail and put my hands on my hips. Fighting in jeans and a tank top would be hard, because the jeans would kill my flexibility, which is my strong point. He was in jeans too, though, so it wouldn't be just me.

Rachel and Rudy followed, wanting to watch the fight for themselves. Cowards.

I looked Cody square in the eyes and half smile, then ran at him. He went to hang line me and I grabbed his outstretched arm and flipped over it, landing on my feet and slamming him onto his back. He grunted and I smile#FF0000 ">d in anticipation, drowning out Rachel's cheering and Rudy's taunting.

Cody knocked my legs out from under me with a well aimed leg sweep, and before I could get up he was on me, pinning me down. I punched him square in the nose and rolled backward as he fell off of me. Leaping up I ran at him again, ready for anything. Suddenly my arms were pinned behind my back and I was being thrown around. For a split second, I was confused, because I could see Cody laying on the ground, then I saw who was man-handling me. Colored hands had my arms pinned behind me. Rudy.

“What are you doing? This isn't fair!” I yelled at him as Cody was recovering. The wind was knocked out of me as Rachel punched me straight in the gut. What the bloody hell was going on here? #FF0000 ">(After reading this next section, these lines now confuses me. Why did Rachel attack, too? I thought she wasn't too fond of the boys right now, so why would she help them?)

I inhaled sharply and jumped, flipping over Rudy's back and kicking him in the ass. I dropped to the ground and side swept my leg, knocking Rachel down. I had just enough time to get up before Cody ran at me, ready to kill. My eye twitched as I slid one foot back to brace myself for the oncoming attack. He lunged and wrapped on hand around my throat and the other on my shoulder. I knew this move; he was going to try and choke slam me! My eyes narrowed and I used his own weight against him, throwing him sideways. He didn't let go of my throat but his hand shot off my shoulder and onto the ground, trying to protect himself from the fall. I bit his finger, and he let go, but before I could even move, Rudy kicked me in the side; I would definitely feel that in the morning. He went to do it again, and I caught his foot and twisted really hard. I expected to hear a crack, because I thought I broke his ankle, but I didn't, so I got up and jumped on Cody, who was still on the ground.

“Do you give yet?” I demanded, breathing heavily. Man, my side hurt.

“Never.” He pushed me off him and I rolled backwards, almost falling off our makeshift mat. I groaned; it hurt to breathe. Rachel came out of no where and kicked me in my other side and I recoiled in pain. I was starting to get lightheaded, from not breathing, because it hurt like crap. I rolled over and kind of just lay #FF0000 ">(Don't use "kind of just" in you story, unless it is a character's dialogue. It sounds...bad.) there like a rag doll, looking up at the ceiling. Rachel, Rudy, and Cody hovered over me, concern on their faces, like they were afraid to hurt me.

That was all I needed.

I kicked out, knocking them all to the ground. Picking Cody up by his hair, I pimp slapped him, throwing him on Rachel. I tripped Rudy, grabbed his leg as he fell, and threw him on top of Cody. Then I jumped up, sat on him, and declared victory.

“I win.” I said proudly, with a huge smile. They answered in rude words that I shall not repeat, and I climbed down, laughing. I didn't laugh for long though, because it hurt so bad, I thought I might cry. I held my ribcage and turned to face them.

“So, remember this day. You ganged up on me, try to beat the crap out of me, and I still remain champion. I rock my own socks!” I beamed.

“Oh, shut up. You cheated.” Cody accused.

“How did I cheat! You're the one who had help!” I demanded.

“You just did.” he insisted.

“Dude, just shut up. You got the crap beat out of you by a girl.” Rudy said, saying girl like it was a disease. #FF0000 ">(Here is where I realized your main character was a girl. Yikes.)

“I wouldn't be talking, Rudy. How's that ankle?” I noticed he wasn't putting any weight on it.

He didn't answer, so I settled for a smug grin.

“Wait,” Cody said, “The only one of us that has no battle wounds is Rachel.”

I smacked her in the back of the head.

“There. That's for kicking me.” I said.

She grumbled something unintelligent and I just kept walking. I wanted fresh air, and food.

“You know what I want?” I asked. No one knew.

“I want a Big Mac.” I said, and it was true. The world was ending, and I wanted something so greasy and artery clogging that it might kill me. They rolled their eyes and shook their heads, but I was serious.

“C'mon. We haven't had fresh air in forever. Or at least me and Rachel haven't.” I looked pointedly at Rudy and Cody, who just smiled in return.

“Fine. I'm driving.” Rachel said. I whooped and ran after her. Big Macs', here I come. I jumped shotgun, and almost gasped out loud. This car was amazing. I mean, Ryan Sheckler hot. Which, that boy was damn sexy, so this is saying something. Leather seats, surround sound, tinted windows...this car was the shit. Rudy and Cody climbed in the back as me and Rachel fell in love with the car. It was impossible not to love it.

“Are we going somewhere or not?” Rudy demanded after me and Rachel had wasted five minutes of our lives playing with all the fancy buttons. Satisfied that we'd touched everything at least once, we finally took off, at eighty mph, thanks to Rachel. I put my seat belt on and grabbed the 'Oh shit!' bar, formerly known as the 'Old Person Bar.'

“If we die,” Cody yelled at me, “This is all your fault!”

I just turned around and grinned at him. Rachel was driving like a crazy lady, swerving and cutting people off. #FF0000 ">(...and here is where I realized that they weren't alone in this city. You've made it seem like they are among the last people in the town, but now other people are just driving around in cars? Also, wouldn't someone take notice of a speeding black automobile and call someone with authority? I shook my head and turned on the radio, blasting Black Veil Brides. Today was going to be a very good day. Big Mac's, good music, and a pimping car, it couldn't get any better.

What I should have said, was “Hmm, how can something go wrong?”

Because, believe me, did everything go wrong.