I Had a Dog
I had a dog that gave me sweet life,
But I had never once given it back.
No sooner did I find it shot me.
Then stared with its hungry eyes.
Another dog had licked hot knives,
But it always wanted to do good deeds.
Whispered well wishes under its breath,
And prayed in bed as it raped me
My third dog would look for its ball.
I soon let it be to search alone.
After awhile, I wanted to bring it home,
But no, for eternity it would search.
There was one dog that was never named.
It looked to me with pained, teary eyes.
I never did know what it wanted
When I believed in false reason.
An unruly dog drank itself blind;
Then screamed of crimson regret.
This single dog gave up all it had
To feel ev’rything, dream others’ dreams.
My last dog didn’t give up on me,
Listened to my dreams and feeble wishes.
It could never respond to these things;
So it died in wallows of vain.
And as I look back on those dogs,
I found that there was only one.
-
Don't stanch your honest opinions
EDIT: Look above my username panel on my post to see the star giving... device? I don't know what to call it. But yeah, dustfinger, when you see that panel just click on the star symbol to give me one if you fancy. And thanks for telling me about the typo.
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
I love this piece. It gives an air of mystery and yet tells all. At first I thought that the way you used the term "dog" was normal. But then I got the feeling that it was more about people. If it is, then I have had many a dogs. They are the same on th outside; ragged fur and a slobbery tounge, but on the inside they choose between you and begging for food at the kitchen table. They can be the friendliest of friends and the doggiest of dogs.
I think he was talking about a man, a rapist so to say.
It was very interesting. There are a few nit picks with grammar, but I’m sure you don't wish to hear all of those, so I won't be the one to post them.
I felt the metaphor was very well worded in the piece and it makes you think a little. Good Job.
Josh
I loved the poem. Feminist, yet optimistic as well.
Reminds me a little of Carol Ann Duffy in 'The World's Wife', and thats not a bad thing.
I loved the second stanza, imagery was excellent, although the first stanza was a little ambiguous: 'No sooner did i find it shot me' doesn't really make a ot of sense. \Was there another 'it' meant to be put in there?
The only other qualm is the lack of punctuation, unless that was meant to symbolise something I missed.
This has got the makings for a great poem.
Sday
To be honest, I didn't get the poem at all. The poem left me asking some questions like, is the dog a man or an animal? The reason I thought this was because of the line.....
Can a dog rape you or was it a metophor for something else and I just didn't catch it. To me it was confusing and I don't like being confused. Well good luck anyway.
I dont know if its just a typo but, shouldont it be
"I wanted to bring it home" ?
Good job.
I liked your hot knifes.
Im knew at this.
But if knew how, I would give you star for that one. But I have to find how first.
Looking forward to some more of your work!
keep it up!