Although it's been said a few times, I agree with the fact that this poem was way too jumpy.
Like kitty15 said, I really like the first two lines. The two "aparts" give rhythm and flow, even though in most poems using the same word (or simiplar words) twice makes it feel overused. Good work!
I feel some commas and periods are not needed on most lines, as it adds to the jumpiness.
Throughout the entire poem, I loved the feeling of peace and acceptance.
Great work, I really liked this poem. I look forward to reading more of your work!
Mel
Points: 890
Reviews: 31
Donate