Editing.
Will be a three parter.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Oh my goodness.
The login dialogue between Reyu and the computer was funny. Kinda like watching a pingpong match where your head bounces back and forth XD
I think you can jump right from where he leaves his house to the airport terminal. At the terminal, a description of every piece of his/your clothing is unnecessary, and rather boring.
What an odd thing to say. I don't see how the waitress laughed. I'd think she'd be annoyed.
Unless there's some multiple personalities thing happenin, you switched tenses here.
Wait, is there?
Agh, I don't get it. There isn't any conclusion? Or much to conclude? And was his conversation with the flight attendant meant to be the romantic aspect to this?
Maybe I don't get it either.
Yes, you are missing a lot.
Is there a part before this that I am missing? The whole bottom half was too confusing to get a point across. And you kept on jumping from He said, "Hello." to I said, "Hello." I can get over that [[I do that all the time.]] But, 1] who are Holly and Apirl 2] Who is Jordan, and why does her height matter? 3] Why was he worried about how smart she was? and 4] Why did he have to go to OC to go to a......water park? How is 'so hot' a pun?
cat