I considered putting this in the Other Fiction forum, but I couldn't decide, so I put it here. Enjoy, and feel free to comment.
Strength
I was angry. Sad, too. I needed some rest. Time to sort out my feelings, time to recollect, and wake up tomorrow anew. I couldn't. Couldn't relax until these emotions drifted away. They wouldn't. Thinking made me tired, and the more tired I was the more sleep I needed; the more sleep I couldn't get. I had so much to carry. I wanted to collapse under the weight; I didn't have the strength to stand up. And then I saw the tree.
The tree needed to rest. It couldn't. Not by choice, but rather because of the baby sparrows nesting in its branches. It remained standing.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Thank you very much
I never really thought of using it to set a story around, but I guess that could work very well. Hmm, I'll think about that; right now I have a few other stories I'm working on (they will be full length
The work is very raw and simple. I like it, but I feel that it could be dramatized a little. If this could be used as a frame to set a story on top of, it could reach it's full potential.
It's got potential.
coola nd very moving.
i love this short and thoughful work.
Wow, I really don't know why there are no other posts on this. It's really good. I know this isn't very constructive, but there's nothing I would change. Good job.