My Haiku

by Revere

Published April 8, 2006

Here are some haikus I have written, let me know what you think!

Clouds -

Oh those bumbly clouds
their subtle sense of humour
mocks how we worry.

Tree -

That tree in the field
reaches out from the lands' depths
into skies' vastness.

Caterpillar -

Small caterpillar
the world in your sight is not
but glorious peace.

I have more but these are my favourites.

Comments & reviews · 8
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David Guinness
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David Guinness commented Comment · Apr 14, 2006

I like these very much, especially "Waves". Keep posting! :)

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Revere
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Revere commented Comment · Apr 14, 2006

Julri wrote: If you have more, you should post them.


Okay, here goes ... (shakes as he has big expectations to live up to)

Bird

Innocent songbird
your notes pierce the tumbling wind
with pure sanity.

Waves

Rolling ocean waves
your consistent, calm rhythm
is like a heartbeat.

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Araidne
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Araidne commented Comment · Apr 13, 2006

Well, at least you followed the 5-7-5 rule.good job :)

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Julri
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Julri wrote a review Review · Apr 13, 2006

Normally I don't really like haikus, but your's were great! Especially the first one, because of the words you picked and, well, just everything. If you have more, you should post them.

Peace! 8)

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Niamh
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Niamh commented Comment · Apr 13, 2006

I love these; the connection to the simplicities of nature makes them beautiful. Haiku is definitely my favorite form of poetry.

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Fireweed
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Fireweed commented Comment · Apr 9, 2006

I like these alot. Usually haikus bug me, but these are clever and thoughtful.

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xanthan gum
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xanthan gum commented Comment · Apr 9, 2006

the world in your sight is not
but glorious peace.

these lines are awkward, and I think that's because of the strict rules on the syllables in haikus and the demands thereof.

Ohio Impromptu wrote a review Review · Apr 9, 2006

As far as haiku's go, these were great. I like how you weren't trying to cover too great subjects in haiku; something very few people can do. Haiku is meant for the simple things like you have shown here. I liked the first one, personally.

Keep it up!



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