z

Young Writers Society



My Haiku

by Revere


Here are some haikus I have written, let me know what you think!

Clouds -

Oh those bumbly clouds
their subtle sense of humour
mocks how we worry.

Tree -

That tree in the field
reaches out from the lands' depths
into skies' vastness.

Caterpillar -

Small caterpillar
the world in your sight is not
but glorious peace.

I have more but these are my favourites.

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114 Reviews

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Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:42 pm
David Guinness says...



I like these very much, especially "Waves". Keep posting! :)




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Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:22 pm
Revere says...



Julri wrote: If you have more, you should post them.


Okay, here goes ... (shakes as he has big expectations to live up to)

Bird

Innocent songbird
your notes pierce the tumbling wind
with pure sanity.

Waves

Rolling ocean waves
your consistent, calm rhythm
is like a heartbeat.




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Thu Apr 13, 2006 6:22 pm
Araidne says...



Well, at least you followed the 5-7-5 rule.good job :)




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Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:06 am
Julri wrote a review...



Normally I don't really like haikus, but your's were great! Especially the first one, because of the words you picked and, well, just everything. If you have more, you should post them.

Peace! 8)




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Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:32 am
Niamh says...



I love these; the connection to the simplicities of nature makes them beautiful. Haiku is definitely my favorite form of poetry.




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Sun Apr 09, 2006 10:04 pm
Fireweed says...



I like these alot. Usually haikus bug me, but these are clever and thoughtful.




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Sun Apr 09, 2006 7:59 pm
xanthan gum says...



the world in your sight is not
but glorious peace.

these lines are awkward, and I think that's because of the strict rules on the syllables in haikus and the demands thereof.




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Sun Apr 09, 2006 3:59 am
Ohio Impromptu wrote a review...



As far as haiku's go, these were great. I like how you weren't trying to cover too great subjects in haiku; something very few people can do. Haiku is meant for the simple things like you have shown here. I liked the first one, personally.

Keep it up!





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