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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Mature Content

Sip It Up

by Renard


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

Dedicated to someone to ensure they know they're incredibly special, have a phenomenal amount of patience and that someone has never loved them more. I don't hate them AT ALL.

She stands before you in her black and blue bra, with the frills. Your favourite bra. Through the sheer black lace of her panties, you can see the curve of her hips and the ruffage of pubic hair on her abdomen. You approach her, the sweet scent of vanilla perfume overwhelms you. You're kissing her lips, then her neck, biting her neck. She reciprocates, leaving large, purple marks on your skin.

In between kisses, she utters the words: "I love you." And she pulls your t-shirt over your head. You love her too. Her hand rests on your crotch, rubbing gently against your concealed cock. You can tell she wants to release it when she winks at you.

With an eager nod from you, she unbuttons your trousers and pulls them down, along with your boxers, discarding them on the floor. Cupping your balls in one hand, she clutches your penis with the other and begins jerking the skin.

On her knees, she glanes up at you through her green, fiery eyes as she slips to the tip of your cock into her mouth. She sucks. Tickling the tip with quick, dancing flicks of her tongue. Driving you to ecstasy, insanely sensitive touches. You're pleasure is rising.

"Stop," you tell her gently. She eases, and with a final suck on you, she retracts to full height. Looping an arm behind her back, she releases the clasp of her bra with one hand. You watch, with anticipation as it falls to the floor. Thumbing your cock in one hand, you let your eyes devour the large, round breasts. With their pink, pert nipples, standing erect to your attention. Aroused by you.

"Touch them," you ask.

Her hands reach automatically for the rosy buttons and she twists them between her fingertips, smiling. She stops, reaching for your hands and places them across the warm, smooth skin of her breasts. You sequeeze and push the skin in your palms, breathing heavily.

"I've been a naughty girl," she tells you. She's pulling down her panties as she says it, exposing her treasure. You see the wiry hairs appear; and below that the gap between her legs where you can house your wooden, hard cock.

Your hand instinctively reaches for her exposed crotch. Sliding a hand along her undercarriage, it comes away wet. Soaked in genital juice.

"I'm wet for you," she whispers.

"I'm hard for you," is your reply.

Edging closer to you, she stands on tiptoes to place her tongue delicately in your ear. She speaks as she licks the skin: "I want you to fuck me." With a smile, you take her by the hand and lead her to your futon, where she spreads her legs. As you slip the sheath over your stone cock, you admire the fleshy folds of her vulva - wondering when you should brush against her pleasure zone, the clitoris.

You approach her smiling figure slowly. Then, you place your head between her legs and tongue her vagina. Peeling back the folded layers with your careful fingers, to reveal the clitoris. You kiss it repeatedly. The exquisite taste of her salty pussy in your mouth is enough to tip you over the edge.

"You ready?" you ask. She nods and moves so you can clamber on top of her. Loitering yor hard cock over her pussy, you grip the shaft as you push into the warm, wet pouch of her vagina. Her eyes widen as you enter, and she bites on her lip. You begin thrusting insider her. Her thighs clasp against your waist and she fucks you back. Hard.

"I'm going to cum," she gasps between ragged breaths. The walls of her vagina vice onto your shaft as she moans and releases her pleasure onto you. After she finished, she requests a change of positions. In doggy style, you can fuck her as hard as you want to. You remember it's her favourite, rough position.

Pounding her, the skinf of her wide butt quivers as your bodies collide. Occasionally, air escapes and she queefs loudly on your cock. The heavy breathing of you both, couples as she smiles back at you over her shoulder. You slip a hand towards her vagina and play with her clitoris. It causes a wave of moaning to be unleashed; and she whimpers; "I want to ride you now."

Eager, you pull out and then lay down in her place. Resting your arms comfortably over your head as she mounts your groin, you position your penis under her crotch and she hops onto your tip. Sat on top of you, her boobs flop up and down with the rhythm of her bouncing. She's fucking you hard. Skin clapping against your legs and stomach. Covering every inch of your penis from the glans to the balls in wet juices; and warm flesh.

She guides your hands to her breasts. "Close your eyes," she instructs. You do so, as she suddenly intensifies the speed of her thrusting. The friction and the heat become intense and your eyes pop open to watch the effort on her face, in her eyes, as she grinds on you.

"Yeah, ye-ah, fuck the shit out of me!" you gasp.

The sensation builds, your orgasm rising. You tell her; and she knows... swiflty dismounting, she removes the condom, before jerking your cock rapidly in her hands.

"Cum in my mouth," she whispers, still slightly out of breath.

You're looking at her, thinking about what you just did. What you could do again; when you wake up next to her in bed. Naked. Pulsing.

"Ugh...I'm gonna... cum," you groan.

Her eyes widen gleefully and she continues tugging you to your crescendo, with an occasional brush of the tip. With her mouth open wide she hovers over you, waiting to taste your massive load.

"Yeah don't stop baby."

"Uh-huh, okay, cum for me baby, I wanna taste you."

From your balls to your tip it's coming. Euphoria unleashes the tension as you squirt your sweet, white juice into the cavern between her lips. She sucks it up, swallowing repeatedly as you implode insider her.

Releasing your cock from her grasp, she leans over you, kisses you once on the mouth and says: "I love you hunny.

"I love you too," is all you can manage in your post-coital state. She coils herself around you as you kiss her forehead; before slowly falling asleep in her arms.


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933 Reviews


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Fri Mar 28, 2014 11:49 pm
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Iggy wrote a review...



Hey BiSF! Another explicit work? *blushes*

You're kissing her lips, then her neck, biting her neck.


The repetition of "her neck" is unnecessary.

You're pleasure is rising.


That should be your.

"Touch them," you ask.


Looks more like a demand than a request to me. ;)

Pounding her, the skinf of her wide butt quivers as your bodies collide.


There's a random f on "skin."

The heavy breathing of you both, couples as she smiles back at you over her shoulder.


I feel like there's a missing word here? Something feels missing after the comma.

Sat on top of you, her boobs flop up and down with the rhythm of her bouncing.


I think you mean "sitting on top of you."


Moving onto the story itself, I feel like that condom randomly came out of nowhere. You never stated in the beginning that he rolled a condom on, unless this

As you slip the sheath over your stone c***, you admire the fleshy folds of her vulva


is him putting on a condom. If so, you gotta be more specific, because her vagina could easily be the sheath, not the condom itself.

This was very fast paced, with them jumping from one sexual act to another. By doing that, I felt rushed and dizzy. First she was doing this, then this, then they were having sex in this position, then this position, then this and that and finally they go to sleep. I suggest you slow it down, go through each sexual act slowly and take it one step at a time.

Another thing: where are they falling asleep? On the ground? The futon?

Other than that, I liked this better than I liked your other smut story. This was more detailed, more intimate, and you used second person, therefore connecting the person to this story and making them feel like they were the one doing all of this, not seeing it from a distance. ^^






Thanks for another review. I don't know how I make so many technical errors and don't notice them LOL.
I can see where it is a little rushed as well -editing time- XD
Also, why do you think people (except you and my fiance) aren't reviewing these works?
I know the content is, err... "specialist" but still! I want reviews! XD



Iggy says...


They might be scared because it's smut. :P some people are super shy xD





That's what I thought.
Fair dos I guess.
See what happens on review day XD





It could be that the majority of the people on this website are under 18, so you're targeted audience is pretty small.





Yep. You're probably right. :)



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Thu Mar 27, 2014 10:41 pm
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MasterGrieves wrote a review...



Soooo this is the third work detailing sexual activities. I likey; I really likey; in fact I lovey :D Not really because of the subject matter (though it plays a substantial part) but in the way you have written it. Although similar to "Cuntry House", this one is longer and has more variety. It is also very sweet, especially the ending.

There are many moments of greatness here, but I have narrowed it down to three.

"You ready?" you ask. She nods and moves so you can clamber on top of her. Loitering yor hard cock over her pussy, you grip the shaft as you push into the warm, wet pouch of her vagina. Her eyes widen as you enter, and she bites on her lip. You begin thrusting insider her. Her thighs clasp against your waist and she fucks you back. Hard.


There is a lot of chemistry between the narrator and the reader ( ;) ) I love the use of words like "clasp", or "thrust", as they conjure up images of passion and determination, which reflects the want of an orgasm and the want to give your partner an orgasm during sex.

Pounding her, the skinf of her wide butt quivers as your bodies collide. Occasionally, air escapes and she queefs loudly on your cock. The heavy breathing of you both, couples as she smiles back at you over her shoulder. You slip a hand towards her vagina and play with her clitoris. It causes a wave of moaning to be unleashed; and she whimpers; "I want to ride you now."


This shows the playfulness of sex, e.g. the fact that she queefs. It is very intense, with the use of "heavy breathing". I also like how you used the "wave" of moaning to emphasise the amount of pleasure she gets from having sex. It is very sensual like the other works, with emphasis on her clitoris to stimulate a lot of pleasure.

Releasing your cock from her grasp, she leans over you, kisses you once on the mouth and says: "I love you hunny.

"I love you too," is all you can manage in your post-coital state. She coils herself around you as you kiss her forehead; before slowly falling asleep in her arms.


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww <3 This bit is so sweet and cute and just adorable. <3 I love it when stories end like this, it reminds the reader that despite the potentially "brutal" (urgh, that term is annoying :P) nature of the sex in this work, they love each other. :)

Great work hun <3 I love you!






Great review babe <3 I love you more!




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