Published October 5, 2013
I. The best thing you can do when you have conflicting feelings is to allow them all in. Feeling like you have a split personality is normal, think of all the things going on in your head. Fortunately, some of these 'traits' of your personalities become dominant.
Worked example: I know a pessimist. But they are not pessimistic 100% of the time. Sometimes, when reacting to news or a situation, they think positively about it, at least to start with. This means that they are both pessimistic and optimistic. These are conflicting traits, but within them, one trait has become dominant. In their case, the dominant trait is pessimism. But the optimism still exists within them. So... in a sense, there are conflicting characteristics in them. The lesser traits allow them to broaden their belief system, but only if they accept these two contradictory values as being possible.
II. Invested emotion does not always result in heartbreak, but it can be difficult to trust again after it has been broken from an investiture in a single person/object. However, you cannot mar your present or future experiences based on the predicaments of the most. Nothing is ever the same twice (due to the experience you have been through before eg. Linked to first impressions and a prior knowledge.)
Worked example: You have one romantic relationship that ends badly. That does not mean that all your romantic relationships will end badly. You will think this for a short time due to the affliction on your feelings of your recent experience, but this will fade. In time, you realise that your experience amounts to knowledge and if you use this knowledge correctly, you prevent the same experience happening again. By investing heavily in one thing at one time, you place all your faith/trust in that person/object. This heightens your expectations and suppositions related to the invested party. Therefore, if it goes wrong or you am let down then you are more likely to be disappointed/upset/generally negatively affected.
There is the option of never placing trust in anything/one to prevent it from being broken. But not to trust is to prevent one from certain experiences. No experience can be bad, because, as long as have conscious ability to recognise circumstances and their outcomes we understand where we have made mistakes and so called 'bad' experiences teach us valuable moral lessons.
III. There are such things as unanswerable questions. Or as I like to call them: indefinite truths.
Worked example: If someone were to ask you who you were, or what you wanted, you wouldn't be able to tell them because it is not yet decided in your mind and it never will be. This is because you are constantly changing, due to living. You gain new experiences, which transfer to knowledge. As everything you experience is transient (and can never be had in the same way again).
IV. If something goes wrong (that you are involved in) this doesn't mean that you need to change everything about yourself. The situation can go wrong without your being the sole thing that is wrong about it.
Worked example: Pretending to be someone else, or running away from your problems will result in you creating a host of new problems. For example: if you get dumped and feel like it is your fault and you need to change yourself to become a 'better' person you will create a new set of beliefs and values; because you are changing your thought patterns. These will not correspond with your current system if you are trying to change completely. You will feel different and you won't be yourself anymore. This will mean that this change or incentive to change has not been influenced by your own free will, but the person who initiated the idea of change in the first place. This means they are the one with the problem, not you! So you would not fix your problem of realising that you don't have an issue with yourself personally, but that the other person did.
Words of Wisdom (extra and free of charge)
Establish boundaries: decide what you WILL NOT STAND FOR eg. Hypocrisy, Injustice, Intent to harm/upset others.
Understanding what is worth fighting for is important because it stops you from wasting your time. Pick your battles.
Thought: Avoid investing emotion by not doing anything that is prolonged. Make sure your investiture extends no longer than the moment. Enjoy the moment, because in the next one, everything could be different - including the way you think and feel.
Worked example: You love your girlfriend/boyfriend today. In this moment = a day, you love her. If you find out she cheated on you tomorrow, then that may no longer apply. If you think you will love her forever, not only will you be deluded, but you are making a glorious assumption that your current feelings are applicable to every unseen circumstance. Your emotional investiture is too high, meaning you subject yourself to a higher risk of disappointment/crushed hopes.
In short, never expect anything from anyone. Everything is transient, things change too quickly to keep track of. You have to expect each day to be different. What you thought yesterday may no longer mean anything to you when you wake up today.
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Hey Bloodink,
This was thoroughly interesting to read, and I like your perception of things. I know, I know, I already suggested you a club and now I feel like I'm doing a lot of advertising, but yeah, I think you like this. It's for philosophers... although we have yet to get started. clubs/1750
Right, the review. I'll do my best and take it part by part. On a whole, I liked your style and how you used examples.
I. Conflicting emotions. Yes, a lot does go on in our heads which is why you get a lot of emotions as well. Yes, some features are more dominant than others. This we know, although not everyone does which is why there are obvious stereotypes. But to take this idea one step further and develop it some more, you could ask yourself why does one thing come out more dominant that another? The example: pessimist, although at times optimistic. So why is her usual or more dominant reaction pessimistic? Is it something personal, to do with their own viewpoints or something? It would be a challenge to look into this further. The why part of philosophy is always important.
II. Again, the same advice. Yes, we assume after a single heartbreak that there is nothing else in store for us but heartbreak. Why do humans do that so easily? Why do humans drop their faith in emotions and forget simple things such as love cannot endure forever? What makes us so prone to these emotions?
You've chosen a good example here because I'm sure it's one many people can relate to. And relating is important, because it makes the text all the more intriguing and interesting for the reader. As well as the fact they will think more about this section. So good choice with the example there
III. That's such an interesting topic, indefinite truths, unanswerable questions, that you could think about them an awful lot. I thought you might've had a bit more to say on this one. Personally, I think it could be it's own text. I would've liked to see more examples here, and for you to have gone into more depth with each one. People want things all the time, whether material things or something to do with emotions. So why is it considered and unanswerable question? And why is it that most people don't know how to answer when asked it, although they obviously do want something?
And when someone asks who you are, it is a fairly unanswerable question. Although MBIT personality tests do say that everyone can fit under 16 personalities. Do you agree with this? And why? Is that easy to define yourself, or is there more to it?
IV. But sometimes you are the cause of the problem. So how can you differentiate from when you are and are not the problem? And although you shouldn't change everything about yourself, sometimes change is called for in some manners. It must be hard to know how much, what and when this is called for. Can you give reasons for this?
I liked your words of wisdom, and it was a good ending. Most of this review was me asking questions to what you wrote, but I think that's because I was looking for more within what you wrote. One thing I liked about this piece was that it stated what you wanted to state, and wasn't too long. So perhaps those questions are for a different of follow up post?
Deanie x
Hi Bloodink!
I just wanna make a simple review with this. 
I like the way you wrote this one. Everything was explained clearly and they are very understandable. Your worked examples will really give your readers the colorful side of this piece.
I also like the first thing that you have discussed: optimism and pessimism. I agree with your idea that pessimistic people are not really 100% pessimists. It was just happened that pessimism became dominant over optimism.
And above all, I like your conclusion.
"In short, never expect anything from anyone. Everything is transient, things change too quickly to keep track of. You have to expect each day to be different. What you thought yesterday may no longer mean anything to you when you wake up today."
-These lines are the great ideas that people must know. Because some people nowadays can't totally move on from disappointments brought to them by yesterday and because of the pain they can feel, they don't even realize/think that "Tomorrow is still another day, one more chance of hope". They must be given with these powerful lines to cheer them up and be motivated to live life to the fullest with goodness whatever happens.
I have not seen too much big problems or mistakes with your work.
All I can say is "GOOD JOB!" and I'm expecting to read more of your works.
Keep writing!