Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
Hello fuckfaced readers.
I thought you might be getting a little bored with me only making brief appearances so I have decided to write a novel. Ha ha. I have called it my autobiography, but in actuality it isn't. Not because I haven't lead a full and interesting life, but because I felt it would take too much effort to make up so much next level bullshit. I have saved the personal anecdotes for later, humourous use.
So here we are. Since I am a brilliant writer, I thought I would write about something I truly know. Writing. The famous art of holding a pen in your hand, thinking, thinking some more, putting the pen down; getting fed up, throwing things at a wall, picking up the pen again and then giving up to play video games instead.
Being the next Shakespeare is easy if you know how. And I know exactly. So prepare motherfuckers for the best advice you're ever going to get. Forget about Stephen King, JK Rowling, all those others, Mitchell Akajowango is the way forward in writing how-tos.
Now, I think that is enough of the self promotion and let's get down to business.
The Introduction
Some people know that they don't just want to be a writer, that they HAVE to be. And it's a totally pawsome idea. Especially for a polar bear like me, when it is so hard to get recognised. For all those of you who have read my works, you will understand that I am a great advice giver and you can take everything I say seriously.
Basically, it all comes down to personal experience innit. Sod knowing all about the techniques and the spelling and the grammar, it's all about how you express yourelf and where your inspiration comes from. If you could even call it "inspiration" that sounds very avant-garde and hippy and I am not fond of the term to be honest. So we will stick to "ideas" thank you very much.
I will now insert my quote:
'There is no such thing as a good or bad idea. Only ideas.'
Take from that what you will, ladies and germs. What. You. Will.
The aim of this book, as an advice guide is to lead you to the answers of the some of the biggest, most profound questions concerned with writing "good" literature. Including where you will get ideas from. Some of the advice, I am sure, has been heavily influenced by other material I have read. With my own take on it.
Then again, another quote:
'The arts are one, big recycling process. Nothing is entirely original, without some concepts being borrowed from pre-existing ideas.'
BOOYAH. I should, by now, have convinced thee that I AM very intelligent.(You will discover in due course if you haven't worked it out already.)
Now, I would provide a contents list of what I am going to cover, but I am making it up as I go along. I mean... err, as I have planned it. Yes, yes! As I planned.
So I will leave you with three things:
Firstly, the information that the first chapter will be about where ideas come from.
Secondly, I have no idea how many chapters there will be.
Thirdly, a quote: "Take me seriously bitches."
See you in Chapter One.
End of chapter
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139,049 Literary Works • 672,402 Reviews
Hello Sphealwithit here.....
Earmahgurd you managed to put into words what writing feels like sometimes.....
"The famous art of holding a pen in your hand, thinking, thinking some more, putting the pen down; getting fed up, throwing things at a wall, picking up the pen again and then giving up to play video games instead. "
Yeah that's pretty much how it goes
I will try and take you seriously btw
Sphealwithit out....
Hello Mitchell!
I love Mitchell's confidence and egotisticalness. I think is it well justified.
XD Mitchell is, at the same time, hilarious but also very helpful. I have a feeling I am going to take his advice from now on.
Touche.
Another touche. I like how you labelled "good" with quotation marks; it's nice to see you addressing the subjective nature of writing.
You bet I will.
Hey BiSF!! Silver here to review this!!
You've got my attention
Okay, so the others have basically covered all the nitpicks and also your grammar and spelling is pretty amazing anyway.
Sure will mate!
Silverlock
Hey CesareBorgia here for a review,
I love this work, because it makes me contemplate why I became a writer in the first place.
I know I'm only 13, and I shouldn't say this, but, I LOVE the profanity! It makes me keep reading.
That's so true! Except I don't play video games
This is the first time I've seen a novel like this on YWS. It's so cool! Between literature and including, there should be a colon.
I can so relate to this, because writing is the only thing I'm actually good at, and it's nice to be good at something that other people aren't.
KnightTeen already said recognized was spelled wrong, but I'm not worried about that. I want to know what you mean by recognized. Recognized on YWS, or recognized as a writer in whole?
Kind of true, but kind of not at the same time. The whole idea of writing is predicated on the fact that you put ideas to paper.
Yes, I will take you seriously because your advice is awesome.
Best of luck in writing,
CesareBorgia
Thanks.
I meant being recognised as a whole. But on YWS too I guess can be very important.
Well hello to you to.
I have called it my autobiography, but in actuality, it isn't.
Sorry. I just really like commas.
Can I get an AMEN?!?
We have all been there.
I have to say I disagree. No one could ever be the Bard again. They could come close though.
Oooooh, what kind of business?
Yeah, I get that pawesome innit a word, but if you want to make it like awesome, you have to add the 'e'.
And recognized is spelled with a 'z' not an 's'
A brilliant sentence, that I feel should be a question.
I kind of feel like you should change the comma after 'grammar' to an exclamation pont, and separate this into two sentences. Also, slight typo.
preexisting is one whole word.
I can tell already that you are indeed VERY intelligent.
See you there.
I don't know where on earth in your mind this came from (and to tell you the truth I am almost scared to ask) but this is one of the most brilliant, original pieces I have ever come across.
It made me laugh until tears dripped down my face (whether or not this was your intention, I cannot say. But I thought that you should know
I am genuinely curious about what you have to say next. Would you mind letting me know when you post the next chapter?
~Teen~
I will be sure to do so.
Thanks so much for the lovely review. And I will see to those improvements at some point.
-huggles-
Oh yeah, "recognised" is spelt with a an "s" in England.