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18+ Language Mature Content

Empty 9

by Renard

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

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192 Reviews

Points: 19207
Reviews: 192

Mon Nov 25, 2013 4:25 pm
EloquentDragon wrote a review...

Neither is disapparate.

Bwah ha ha ha.

I'm sorry, I read this mostly like a comedy for some reason. Is this what your mind really goes through? If so, I'm terribly sorry. Heh.

The thing about the road-killed fox was my second favorite. You have brought out the sadist in me. Hah.

Besides that, good reversal of expectations. I wasn't expecting any of this, and yet it still made sense. Mostly because you build a sentence and follow it with something completely nonsensical. This is mostly used in comedy, which might be why I found it funny, but taken like this it works really well as being read as insanity.

It would be interesting if you ever chose to write a story from this perspective.



Yes unfortunately, this is what my brain goes through on a daily basis. I thought I would splurge it out on the page to see what reaction I got. I love your comments. Thank you for being so honest. And yes.... a story from this POV would be interesting. XD

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158 Reviews

Points: 425
Reviews: 158

Mon Nov 25, 2013 6:16 am
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Payne says...

It made perfect sense to me. Well written.

I am amazed. But thank you. :)

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146 Reviews

Points: 17572
Reviews: 146

Mon Nov 25, 2013 3:55 am
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MooCowPoop wrote a review...

Wow, that... was very interesting. Is this your personal story? Were you just writing down all of your thoughts? If so, you think about a lot of things. It felt almost like I was in your mind or leading a journal entry, which is the same thing. Yes I am doing a review, and yes it didn't make any sense to me, like you predicted, but I don't think you're insane. I like how its written though. I guess it was just one of those days where you type whatever comes to mind, eh? I can dig it. One thing though, don't beat yourself up too much. It seems like youre freaking out about a whole bunch of stuff. Just take a day off and ell everyone to piss off for a moment so that you can relax.

Aww. I might just have to test your advice out. :) Thank you!

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
— Honore de Balzac