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Taraxacum Officinale

by Remington38


Taraxacum Officinale

Once, a long time ago there was a very happy plant. She was one of the first in her field besides the grass, but they weren’t very good company. They didn’t talk much. The plant was lonely often times and wanted to love. She was large and a vibrant shade of green. Her leaves were pointed and she was radiant. Every so often she would bloom a luminous yellow blossom that reflected all of the bright happiness inside of her. Then the petals would fall off and she would have white seeds that would float off to the sky when the warm summer breeze flew through her. She loved the warm rain in May when the grass was at its greenest and in the winter when she the cold frost coated her lovely leaves. It was a simple life, yet she wanted more. To have company and feel love while the days and seasons pass.

One day a plant beside her sprouted and she watched it grow. It went from being a tiny plant to a gorgeous flower with a tall dark stem and blossom that was ready to burst. It was many days of waiting for her new friend, but one morning it slowly started to open. Beautiful red petals spread out and a soft sigh came from the flower.

“Hello!” The happy plant was practically glowing at the idea of a friend and greeted the red flower with all the kindness she could.

“Hello” The red flowers voice was smooth and elegant like she held all of the grace of the world.“What are you?” She asked with curiosity.

“A Dandelion. What are you? I have never seen such delicacy and exquisiteness from a flower before. Though I must admit I have never seen any other flower before.” The dandelion says shyly.

“A rose. I am a red rose.”

“Truly even a name of beauty.” The dandelions says even more shyly.

Their conversations went on like this for many seasons and the two flowers grew close friends. The rose grew even more beautiful as the days passed then she like the dandelion lost her petals.Even during these times they shared their love. Secretly to the dandelion that was not enough again. She was grateful for her company, but now wants to feel the embrace of her friend. She tried to stretch out her petals, but they were not long enough and she could not reach. She also tried her leaves, but it was the same.

She finally had the idea to stretch out her roots. She stretched out farther and farther until she was near her rose. Her roots finally touched her friends. But instead of a cry of happiness it came out filled with anguish and pain. The rose twists and writhes in sharp jerking movements.

“Aghhh. Aghhhh.” Her cries of pain fill the dandelion with terror. No words came from the rose after that, and the once happy flower watched her friend die in front of her. The poor rose’s death lasted for serval torturous days. She first started wilting, then she finally grew brown and died. The dandelion saw every moment and felt every stabbing pain of sorrow and guilt like her friend felt in her long death.

She only wanted love. She only wanted to physically feel the love herself. Guilt plagued her thoughts and would not leave her. Another flower grew in the field closer to the dandelion this time. A Tulip that was very friendly to the dandelion, but not as dear as her rose. In a cold winter morning she tried again to embrace her friend, but the same thing happened. The tulip wilted faster than the rose and all during her cold death the dandelion saw images of the flailing rose. After that point she grew tiresome of loneliness. Many flowers grew around her and the ones closest to her every time she tried to touch. She only longed for one touch and for it to not cause pain to anyone.

Soon the field was filled with hundreds of flowers, but they all grew away from the dandelion and they started calling her a different name. “Taraxacum” which then turned into “Weed.” They spat the name out with venom in their tones. They said that any flower to grow beside her was stamped with a death sentence. Even the strange creature that lived near the fields when coming to pick the most beautiful flowers called her ugly and repeated the same names the flowers did.

One day the same creatures finally having enough of the dandelions murdering pulled her from the ground ripping her apart and killing her. Many other dandelions grew around this fields with the same desires and fates as the first. They wanted love, abut were cursed to murder and be invasive plants taking the lives of all around them.


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Sun Aug 28, 2016 10:07 am
Mea wrote a review...



Hey there! I'm here for a quick review.

I really liked this. It's a pretty well-written story, and I like how it makes use of the dandelion being a weed and how it spins the story around that. It isn't a dialogue-heavy story and definitely feels like the sort of thing an old storyteller would tell, but it's easy to read and I still connect with the characters despite most of it being just 'telling.'

The main thing I think you could improve here is your pacing - there are just small ways you could milk this to its fullest extent. I think you should spend a fair bit more time with the Tulip, let us get to know her a bit instead just saying she died too. Take us through that second death and the horror as the dandelion realizes that she can't grow closer to anyone.

Same with the dandelions death. Don't summarize it, and don't shift out of her viewpoint to tell her death. Let us feel her terror - you don't have to get graphic, but something as simple as saying "the creature seized her around the middle and pulled. Everything went black" would feel more final and sad. After that, you can say something about this being what happens to every dandelion, but keep it short - the story has already effectively ended at that point.

Your prose could also be tightened a little bit. You tend to use the same sentence structure - short sentences with just one clause. This is good for readability, but it becomes stale after a while, and sometimes you have awkward clauses or small grammatical errors. A proofread should fix those small things.

Their conversations went on like this for many seasons and the two flowers grew close friends. The rose grew even more beautiful as the days passed then she like the dandelion lost her petals.Even during these times they shared their love. Secretly to the dandelion that was not enough again. She was grateful for her company, but now wants to feel the embrace of her friend. She tried to stretch out her petals, but they were not long enough and she could not reach. She also tried her leaves, but it was the same.

This paragraph is a good example of the repetitive sentence structure. Here, when you're showing the dandelion's emotions, try to tell it using more evocative language. You also have a few grammatical things - "not enough again" doesn't make sense, and it should be "but now she wanted" instead of "but now she wants."

And that's all I can think of! Good luck with this, and keep writing!




Remington38 says...


Thank you so much! This was really helpful.



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Sat Aug 27, 2016 3:45 am
supernaturavengers24 wrote a review...



Beautiful symbolism. I really love the word choice and diction in general, the whole thing really sets the mood. The transitions could maybe be a bit smoother just with how quickly the mood darkened. Also sentence lengths need a bit more variety, but other than that it's a lovely piece. I really like how the words so strongly express the emotion.




Remington38 says...


Thank you :)




I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
— Charles Perrault