Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: This sounds like a pretty cool concept. I've seen a few other stories like this buried among the depths and I just might go ahead and read all of them. This however, was the first one I found with less than 2 reviews so here I am reviewing it. The flow is disjointed somewhat and I think that's the way it should be for separate diary entries and there does seem to some sort of overall arc so that ties it all up. And its a surprisingly deep message for what this is.
Anyway let's get right to it,
My eyes are purple. There. I wrote it. That’s the truth I don’t want anyone to know about me and why I wear those damn contact lenses. I can see just fine without them. The lenses are brown so that nobody will know I’m not human. Not entirely, anyway.
On my first day at the new school, of course the teacher made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I said about two words before a kid in the front row said, “She talks funny.” And the girl sitting next to her said that I talk that way because I was from England. Not Ireland. And when the teacher asked the class if they had any questions for me, there was only one. It was asked my the girl who thought I was from England:
“Why are your eyes purple?” What was I supposed to say? I stood there, staring. Since nobody said anything, the teacher let me sit down and went on with her plans for the day.
Definitely starting things off on a strong note right here by showing this particular scene.
It’s just that I’ve never been on a date before. That time I was set up hardly counts. The girl who planned everything thought she was doing us a favour. Neither of us were ready for dating. I’m still not ready. I’m just beginning to really live life on the human side of things. Even if it wasn’t for my eyes, a boyfriend is too much.
This one did seem like it was completely relegated to the background here. This sounds like an important plot point that you would write about everyday.
But I’m going to live in the present. The unknown and the past are not what I want to think about, even if it keeps leaking in. Today I saw a door being held open by a lanyard that was hooked onto the room’s doorknob and the bathroom’s doorknob. Nathan, the guy who’s room it was, was in the common room watching TV. He said he has no reason to think anyone in rez would steal from him. I suppose that is true. And it’s fair to trust people until they give you a reason not to.
That doesn't sound like the worst policy to have there.
Forgot to do laundry yesterday (I miss you, Mom). I don’t know if anyone else will think what I did was funny, but I thought it was. I put my clothes in the washing machine right before going to class and switched it into the dryer during break. Benoit says that in college, an hour is really fifty minutes, so we get a ten-minute break in every two-hour class and leave before class is technically over.
I can see the connection but the paragraph does seem a little bit like two separate ideas on first glance. You might want to make this transition a little bit clearer than this.
As much as I hate clichés, the one about old habits dying hard was really getting to me today and yesterday. I may still be a freak, but I have to keep reminding myself that even if who I am hasn’t changed, a lot of things have. I don’t talk to trees, or anything else that people don’t normally talk to. It’s just that sometimes I can still hear the kids’ words from grade one.
“She’s not just weird, she’s mental.”
“What kind of person has eyes like that?”
“She must weigh only ten pounds.”
“I bet she’ll break in half if you push her over.”
But here, it’s never more than the occasional cute comment about my size and nothing more.
This whole is just so true to real life. This happens to so many people these days and I can vouch that there always is that one voice reminding you of those comments at the worst possible times.
Aaand that's it for this one.
Overall: It was quite a fun thing to read. I certainly enjoyed. It was a simple idea that conveyed a surprisingly deep and very accurate message that I can be quite valuable. And the pacing of each segment was pretty good. We are getting sense of our main protagonist here and understanding how she thinks which is a pretty good thing.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254163
Reviews: 4102
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