Published July 18, 2005
*shrugs*
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
Well, I'll consider it if more people say I should.
I read it but it sorta felt like it was missing something...you really should post the rest!
Well... you should post up the rest
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That's partly because I skipped some chapters. Didn't really feel like posting them. I wasn't even going to post this part until I read it at a library event and got some great response, so I wanted other people to read it.
Anyway, the purpose of this is as a parallel story to the main plot.
That's really good - it flows well and has some captivating imagery.
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The only bad thing I'll comment on... is that I can't see how this fits in with the three chapters you posted up earlier (at least, not very well). But I imagine you already have have that sorted out so it's not much of a problem
There's a couple of spelling errors in there, but none are too bad. I'm going to be lazy and lave the spell checking up to those who are better at it
Comments please?