Published May 2, 2010
A bright light flashes above me. I slowly open my eyes to realize that I’m lying in a cold, metal-framed bed with crisp white sheets.
I can’t speak because my throat is swelled shut.
People buzz around me and poke me with syringes/charts/pills.
“She was found in the bathroom of the school… yes, she passed out. Blood sugar is low, and her salivary glands are swelled.” Someone explains.
“Oh dear…” A quiet voice replies. My mom.
“Does she have any pre-existing medical conditions that we should be aware of?”
“No.” Mom says.
I open my mouth. “Mom…?” I croak.
“Oh sweetie… you’re in the hospital.” She informs me.
The doctor talks slowly. “Jenna, do you know why you’re in the hospital?”
“I passed out… at school… in the bathroom…” I remember slowly.
:Toilet/lunch/darkness:
“What happened?”
“I was throwing up into the toilet and blacked out.” I say.
“Why were you throwing up, Hannah?”
“Because I ate some strawberries…” I whisper.
“Hannah, how would strawberries make you sick?”
“I didn’t want to eat them… but I was hungry, so I had to.” I respond.
“Okay…” The doctor examines a chart. “Mrs. Peters… I think that Jenna has bulimia nervosa.”
“What’s that?” Mom asks.
“It’s a type of eating disorder. The sufferer intentionally consumes thousands of calories in one sitting and then forces themselves to purge to rid themselves of the food.”
“What can we do about it?” Mom asks.
“We have very good treatment plans for eating disorders… We can develop a plan for Hannah to help her.” The doctor says.
Bulimia nervosa… bulimia nervosa… bulimianervosa.
The word replays in my head. I have an eating disorder… And I’m a cutter… and I’m in a mental facility…
Wow. Unbelievable.
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140,830 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
A few suggestions:
This story is all telling, almost no description unless your aiming for a story like What My Mother Doesnt Know, which is all narrative poetry.
Also, how can her mother not know what Bullemia Nervosa is if shes a doctor? I mean i know she doesnt study that field, but still, i would suspect her to know of it unless this takes place in the 90's or whatever.
But nice concept, just try to get deeper into your charater, like why she does all of this, i mean even the book i mentioned above had a somewhat deeper character development.
Keep writing!