Published April 13, 2010
Our hands intertwined as you looked in my eyes
I feel safe, I feel warm with you by my side.
The whisper in my ear, the heat on my skin
The look on your face, the feeling of sin.
With love in my heart, hate in my head..
peace in my soul, I want to be dead.
I don't want to deal with the pain
I got blood on my hands and meth in my veins.
The feeling of dispair and hate...
I looked at the clock, and it struck eight.
It's time to run away, run away and hide
Where no one can find me, I'm done with the life that I tried.
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140,854 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Awesome poem!
Certainly seeemed to be an approprite title for the poem. Your lines never seemed to be too long or toe short which can happen sometime. There was some rythem (however its spelt) in it and thats always good to keep pace and keep it flowing properly. Interesting ideas expressed in it and a good story too. It was very deep but the issue could be a bit clearer. I'm unsure if your discussing suicide or self harm or what.
Love the poem, it was great
Oh thank you, that means a lot!
Woah! Deep!
I really liked it. I'm not that into poetry, cause I can never get how to read it or how to write it (The best thing I can do is the cat sat on the mat, eating rat with a very big hat! Woot woot yeah!)
I really like my new poem, I think I should post it!
I couldn't find any grammar mishaps or structure imbalance and yeah, good work!