Young Writers Society

Hello good evening on the EST side, I saw your story and I think this is pretty intriguing, I'm impressed by the briefness of the prologue yet the amount of detail and anticipation it sets up. I have not develed into much historical fiction so this is new to me, yet I love what I've read about so far.

I like the emphasis placed on the character of Bellerose and how her actions will in fact set the future events of this story into emotion, simply because she took an action that causes history to diverge. I'm very interested in seeing what character might come about to pay a visit and if they'll be the main character that we'll be following in this story.

Unfortunately I'm not much more familiar with the soure material, so this is all I can safe for now, I but I really like this so far and hope to read more from you!

Hullo there!

I saw "Historical Fiction" and got very intrigued, I don't see many Lovecraft-inspired stories, and this seemed like a very nice read!

I just want to say first off, it is a fascinating prologue, quite a voice, this narrator! Probably the "somebody who decided to come back," yeah?

Anyway, the characters. The named ones were Atlas May and Bellerose Bonnet Antoinette. There wasn't much in terms of characterization on either character, just titles and public perception.

All I know of Atlas May was that he was a restaurateur and owned The Little Daisy Cafe which led to the Lackadaisy Speakeasy which is some sort of huge underground establishment that eventually turned into a hotel called the Rose Hotel? Do correct me if I'm wrong here, I'd love to know more about this!

Bellerose Bonnet Antoinette, the Angel of Innocence, whose family is a claiming to have descended from Marie Antoinette, is the more enigmatic figure in this prologue. She suddenly saves her godfather at the last minute? Did someone tip her off or... did she see into the future? Or was she the one who instigated the whole thing? Either way, it paid off for the both of them indeed!

The incorporation of The Prohibition into the setting was a nice addition! I don't know much about history of 1920's U.S., but I know that it's about banning alcohol!

Now, for some little nitpicky things here...

In 1920, there was a bustling city that was located at the junction of the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers, making the city one of the largest nations in the world.

Bellerose, daughter of the Grand Duchess of France, Got Shot in St. Louis! Still Alive After a Gruesome Attempted Homicide!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well this is quite a lovely prologue that you have here. I think it manages a pretty decent balance of some interesting information to just establishing the setting and the rough premise here and create something of an inciting incident without telling us so much that it becomes overwhelming or boring.

Anyway let's get right to it,

In 1920, there was a bustling city that was located at the junction of the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers, making the city one of the largest nations in the world. It worked as a busy river port as well as a major train hub. On July the 1st, the Recent Enactment of National Prohibition promised to bring a great change in the city, for better or for worse but...nobody believes it to be true. It made sense because the city's once prosperous breweries struggled to remain in business. Most don't survive but an emerging unground industry began to fill in the gaps...or taps, if you catch my drift.

A restaurateur named Atlas May owned and operated a modest niche within the city called The Little Daisy Cafe. Along with him was his beautiful Goddaughter, Bellerose Bonnet Antoinette, which goes with the name since she is the kindest and sweetest woman you would have ever met. The Angel of Innocence they would call her. She lived in a very wealthy aristocrat family in Paris and the family was famous for their singing and wealth around the world since they claimed to be descendants of Marie Antoinette, the Queen of France, back in 1789 - 1799. With that wealth, they became the Grand Duke and Duchess of France which helped with Atlas connection to them a lot.

His assuming establishment happened to also be a portal into the extensive maze of limestone caves below St. Louis. Which gave him an opportunity to create a little surprise for the public under here. Even though St. Louis was dry up on the surface, there was a wellspring underground waiting for them to enjoy and the only way you could get in would be the Club-Shaped pin worn under the color or inside the lapel that granted trusted patrons access to the subterranean place called Lackadaisy Speakeasy, in honor of his Goddaughter, Bellerose.

Since it was located in the middle of St. Louis, that would mean that they had numerous routes for illegal liquor flows, which made them never get a loss for supply, making Lackadaisy prosper, and it became the city's most prominent bootleg operation, with Belle working with them. Atlas had a small empire.

But as prohibition persists, formidable rivals began to emerge, and the competition was anything but friendly with enemies lurking around every corner. But what happened next shook the entire world and the family to its core.

Now Atlas could have met a violent end...if it wasn't for Bellerose coming in to save him in the last minute in 1926. As the Lackadaisy continued to prosper, more people started joining in after seeing the headlines:

Bellerose, daughter of the Grand Duchess of France, Got Shot in St. Louis! Still Alive After a Gruesome Attempted Homicide!

Yep! You got that right - She was still alive after that shot. She was a tough fighter even though the injury was server. From the May Family and others of the Lackadaisy, they sent her best after she was transported back to France to regain full recover. Amidst shaken loyalties and the mountain pressure from the competitors, they still held on tight and after a few months, Lackadaisy started becoming more of a hotel which was named the Rose Hotel, named after Bellerose.

1927, business has been booming and not even the competitors couldn't take the empire down since Atlas was still alive and heavy with security, but some say that there hasn't been any trouble since they didn't want to cause that incident again with the Grand Duchess. The organization thrives on, in the name of Bellerose.

And so, while the rest of the city still remember the incident by celebrate the world with the Spirit of St. Louis, somebody has decided to come back and pay a few people a visit and a little surprise for them. Wanna guess who it is? Well... you'll see.