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16+ Language Violence

The Forsaken Race - The Hidden Truth: Chapter 29

by RavenAkuma


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

Chapter 29 - Cavern Gossip

                     

                      

After some time to recuperate in her cabin, Kita reluctantly decided that she needed some time outside. Knowing a mission was coming up, as she picked up rumors about it from the demons, she decided that would be a good opportunity.

Watching her prepare, Stud asked, "Are you sure you're okay to go? You still seem nervous about something."

"I'm fine," Kita muttered.

"You're still mad about what you heard, aren't you?" Asked Stud. "About the war."

"I'm not mad about it," Kita argued. "It just caught me off guard, and it gave me some bad ideas that I don't want to elaborate on."

"Well, how do you know that she was being honest?" Asked Stud. "Maybe the story was false."

There, Kita slowed down. "I don't know. I don't think..." She hesitated. "No, I'm almost certain that Seyber isn't the lying type. I know how it feels when people are being deceptive with me. However, it is possible that someone fed her a warped story. There's just no way to tell."

"Maybe ask someone else," said Stud. "Even though Ginger and Splashy seem nicer, I would say Eye-Patch or Scary, or even Tiny. They seem better informed. Compare what they tell you to Snowy and Corelia's version, and see what sticks out maybe?"

Kita sneered, "You should know they have names."

"I've decided that I like this system better," Stud remarked. "It's not as if their real names make sense either."

"Nevermind," Kita muttered. "For now, I just want to try to clear my head."

Her inner voice added to the statement, As much as my head will allow itself to be cleared.

Kita took a swig from her water jar, then left the cabin. Stepping onto the colorless beach, her eyes took a moment to adjust to the light. She realized that the patrol she had been waiting on was already by the portal. She hoped to see Seyber, but the demoness was nowhere in sight. Zin was the only member who didn't bother her. The other three were Timbur and the twins.

Despite her reservations, Kita hurried over to the group. Even if she didn't get a mission out of this, she was at least curious about what the reclusive leaders were doing outside.

Once close enough, she noticed Zin smirk mischievously. "If you're both gone, and Timbur gets busy enough, does that mean I get to be in charge?"

"Oh, please," Timbur spat. "The day you're left in charge again is the day we find a flying gloom."

"Hey, as your elder, you're supposed to listen to me!" Zin taunted. He patted Timbur on the head. "Your only job is to be tiny, cute, and obedient-"

Timbur immediately grabbed Zin's wrist, and with one kick, he forced Zin to the ground while twisting his arm behind him.

"Don't you ever call me any of those words again," Timbur growled.

"Alright, alright!" Zin whined. "I'm sorry!"

As Kita flinched and stepped back, surprised by the attack, Timbur's ear ticced and his glare snapped toward her.

Kita forced an awkward smile. "H-Hello, Tim- ah!"

Before she could react, Timbur hurled his machete toward her. It landed blade-down in the sand, just an inch from her foot.

"You were warned about eavesdropping, mortal!" Timbur snapped. "Do you need a lesson? Because I teach through punishment!"

Kita quickly shook her head.

Meanwhile, Thundur looked unamused. "This is your apprentice..."

"Timbur, easy," Leiytning said flatly. "Remember what we told you."

Timbur growled with irritation, shooting Kita a glare as he took his machete back.

"Just don't get comfortable, you little worm," he growled.

"Believe me, I'm not," Kita muttered.

Despite taking notice of her, Leiytning seemed indifferent. "And what brings you out of the cabin, exactly?"

"I was just going to ask about what was happening. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop."

Leiytning didn't respond, carelessly adjusting one of his gauntlets.

"I also thought -if it's not too much trouble- I could join your mission. Just to get off the beach for a while, and clear my head."

Though Kita was hoping to come off as natural, she wasn't surprised when something about that caught Leiytning's attention. The signs were subtle, but she was learning to spot them. It probably had more to do with her obvious uneasiness and uncertainty, rather than the statement itself.

"Don't be sour, Leiyt," Zin remarked. "Don't you two want to take your pet sylph with you?"

Zin laughed like a hyena, until Leiytning punched him.

"Right..." Kita shifted uncomfortably. "What kind of mission is this, anyway?"

Thundur crossed her arms. "Nothing for you to be involved with."

"Don't be paranoid," Leiytning said calmly.

"Don't call me paranoid," Thundur retorted.

"She's already seen the cavern. Even if she didn't, what's there to it? Our endless access to stone, dust, and glowing rocks?"

"And cynicism, plenty of that."

"Yeah, thanks to you."

Annoyed, Thundur gritted her fangs.

Kita leaned toward Zin. "Is this normal?"

Zin sighed, "Yup. At least this made somekind of sense though; last winter, they were arguing for almost two hours over whether a teaspoon was actually a teaspoon or not."

Kita arched one brow. "What?"

"Don't bring that up again!" Thundur snapped. "I was right!"

"Yes, clearly you're never wrong," Leiytning said sarcastically.

Thundur crossed her arms snootily. "If you want to be sarcastic, change your voice, because I'm taking that claim at face value."

Leiytning looked unamused, his ear twitching.

"S-So..." Kita awkwardly spoke, "Can I come with you? On the mission, which you're supposed to be going on?"

Before Thundur could say anything in protest, Leiytning gained a blunt look and slapped a hand over her mouth.

"You are allowed," the leader answered. "Don't wander, and obey every word we tell you."

Thundur shoved him aside. "I was going to say something like that."

"I know, I just didn't want to listen to you anymore," Leiytning muttered.

Zin laughed, Timbur facepalmed, and Thundur just smacked him with an annoyed expression. Meanwhile, Kita didn't know how to react.

Thundur huffed, "Speaking of the mission, we're leaving now. Timbur, keep the others busy, and make sure nothing gets screwed up while we're gone."

"Done," Timbur replied.

While Timbur and Zin retreated to the fortress, Thundur opened the portal and proceeded through. Kita was still nervous about the unusual transport, so she tried to brace herself. Finding it stupid, though, Leiytning just shoved her in.

After a moment of falling through darkness, Kita crashed onto a familiar stoney terrain. There were cliffs and mountains surrounding her, no foliage or creatures in sight. The sky had even darker clouds, and many parts of the stone were damp. It certainly explained the chill, humidity, and petrichor in the air.

"Mortal, I'm not afraid to leave you behind."

Realizing that Leiytning was already several yards ahead of her, Kita rushed to catch up. As usual, the leader exhibited an almost unnatural silence. Kita was becoming so curious about what was going through his mind that it almost annoyed her.

She finally spoke, "You don't like to talk much, do you?"

"I get more than enough of it already," Leiytning responded. "You've seen who I live with."

Kita laughed a bit, even though it seemed true. She thought about asking something else, but they soon caught up to Thundur, who had stopped to wait for them. Kita took that as a prompt to be quiet, lingering behind the unidentical twins as they continued toward the cavern.

"This isn't a good idea," Thundur murmured.

"I told you, there's no damage she can do," said Leiytning.

"It's not just vermin," Thundur explained. "Something is creeping around in there, according to the seeing brew, but Druitt is also supposed to be meeting us. He has something to report."

At that point, they were speaking more quietly, but Kita crept forward to keep listening.

Leiytning seemed irritated. "Now you tell me?"

"I know you don't like him," Thundur replied. "Still, his word is valuable. The Kaen Demons are the only other demon tribe that borders Aubade territory, and paying to keep tabs through Druitt is easier than going through their superiors. You should agree with that much."

"Debateable. Also, his word about what? All he has to say are pathetic insults about anything we do."

Thundur shot Kita a glare, then spoke the next part in demon tongue. Kita was just glad that the testy spirit-walker didn't catch onto the fact that she could hear them.

To whatever his sister said, Leiytning responded, "That means we have to listen to an idiot that's probably starting to go crazy?"

"You'll trust some random Aubade, but not a demon?" Thundur muttered.

"The 'fellow demon' argument should not apply to a shifty old pervert," Leiytning retorted. "It barely applies to the Kaens at large."

"Hey, that's not a good position to hold," Thundur argued. "There are only four demon tribes, three to the people who don't include us. None of them have a high population, and everyone hates us regardless. Including the most powerful kingdoms. If we fight amongst each other, that's just another conflict none of us need."

"Fascinating..." Leiytning was clearly ignoring her. "Do you enjoy your own voice that much?"

Thundur rolled her eyes. "Just try to keep your weapon sheathed, and don't antagonize him. The tension never helps."

Leiytning muttered something under his breath, but Kita didn't catch it.

Soon enough, they came across the discreet slit in the side of the cliff, and entered the black domain of the Raven's Cavern. Just like last time, Kita couldn't see an inch in front of her, and all she felt was the rigid stone path. Without vision to rely on, she became more sensitive to every drip and creak, the smell of amber and eroded stone, and the cold, dry air that sapped the moisture from her skin. It was very hard to navigate; last time, she used sound as a guide, but the twins were too quiet. She kept testing each step, trying to use the wear in the ground.

Kita thought to herself, Maybe I should bring up a subject that annoys them. They're never so quiet when they bicker.

She thought she was getting along well, but then she heard Leiytning telling her to keep up, followed by a loud 'crack.' She saw an electric spark amid the dark, then shifted course to follow it.

"Right..." Thundur sighed, "Mortal eyes."

Light blue smoke generated from her fingertips, collecting to form a ball of faint light in her palm. It soon burst into light blue and white flames. It was dim, but allowed Kita enough light to see where she was stepping.

Unfortunately, this method forced her to stay extra close to Thundur, which neither of them was fond of. Even with the light, Kita could barely see Leiytning at all, blending with the dark like a phantom.

As Kita heard an extra loud 'crack' from deep in the cavern, she gasped and looked out into the darkness. Without realizing it, she slowed down, drifting a bit further from the group. Until Thundur startled her by pulling her back into the light. Her touch was surprisingly soft for someone with such a callous attitude.

"I wouldn't wander if I were you," said Thundur. "And don't stare too long. Some cave vermin respond violently to eye contact."

Kita shuddered, keeping her eyes down as she scrambled to follow.

Finally, the illuminated entrance of the crystal garden soon came into view, just down a short slope. Kita felt relieved, drawn to the light like a moth.

It only lasted a moment, though. Thundur pulled her away from the slope, just before the descent, and made her crouch behind a boulder she could barely even see.

Thundur spoke quietly, "Wait here until we're done talking, and don't leave until we tell you."

Kita nodded, but was internally groaning. The twins proceeded toward the crystal garden. In the lonesome darkness, Kita heard a distant voice, but it was one that she did not recognize.

Still curious, Kita silently crept away from her hiding spot. From the top of the slope, she took just a couple of steps down, to where she could just barely see through the entrance.

Inside, the crystal garden acted as a beacon with its array of glowing crystals. She barely took notice of the twins amid the splendrous view, until she realized that a foreigner was with them. The person's skin was an unnatural dusky red hue, save for his legs; they were the crooked legs of a goat, their dark fur splattered with gray patches. Cracked black horns spiraled from his head, one half-broken, and wiry white hair spilled haphazardly around them. His clothes -just a brown peasant shirt and a wrap at the waist- were rough and patchy. His breaths were wheezy, and he walked on a splintered crutch. Though very different from the Zyreans, his orange eyes and yellow fangs were still reminiscent of a demon.

The odd man cackled, "So nice to see you again, Lady Thundur, in all your..." He unsubtly looked over her body. "Glory. May I just say-"

Leiytning suddenly grabbed the man by his horn, twisting his head downward. Not enough to do damage, but enough to make him yelp and squirm in pain.

"If you ever do that again, I'll break your other leg," Leiytning spat.

The red demon snorted, pulling away. "You old mutt, always assuming the worst about me."

Leiytning sneered, "Because even the best of you is a demented scumbag."

"Look who's talking," the red demon muttered.

"Just ignore him, Leiyt," Thundur insisted. In a black flash, a small sachet appeared in her hand. "Now save the idle talk, Druitt, we still have work to do. Get to the point."

Druitt grunted. "Fine, I'll make this fast. Now listen up."

The twins already looked irritated, while Druitt snatched the sachet. It presumably had some form of payment in it.

Druitt continued, "The Aubades are planning some interesting kind of monstrosity, or so it seems. Rumor has it that Corelia brought herself to work with some outside tribes. I'm not exactly sure which ones, but I already suspect elves. Aubades forming alliances means more enemies for both our tribes, but what's worse is that the merchandise being tossed around seems quite magical. You know, something with a little more oomph than what's in her own territory."

"I find that hard to believe," Leiytning muttered. "The mention of elves especially. Aubades can barely cooperate with other sylphs, much less anyone from a differing genus."

"That's what I said," Druitt responded. "We saw what we saw, though, and I'll keep you informed -as long the gold keeps coming. You should also keep a closer eye on them, and I expect to be warned if you notice them bring up our tribe."

"Done," Thundur said dismissively. "We already regularly patrol the border, and we can detect when a group may cross. Do you have a more solid idea of what they would be using this merchandise for, though?"

"No," Druitt answered. "I know, it seems odd that Corelia would change her tactics so suddenly. Everyone's on edge nowadays, but as you mentioned, she's never been fond of working with others. It makes me wonder..." He smirked. "Maybe she saw something really dark to become so desperate. Something truly, primitively demonic."

"Your point?" Leiytning said flatly.

"You two haven't gone savage again, have you? Stirred up some trouble, took a few too many lives, drove more doomed souls to eat their own before eating themselves? I personally like that trick the most."

"No more than usual," Thundur said almost tauntingly.

From her distant spot, Kita's fingers clutched as she whispered, "What does that mean?"

Thundur crossed her arms. "In all seriousness, we have things under control. Save for one battle from about thirteen moons ago, I believe. Leiyt had to get a little creative."

"Timbur was complicating things," said Leiytning. "And Corelia was annoying me."

Druitt shrugged his shoulders. "Regardless, Corelia is clearly targeting demons with new tools up her sleeves, and you're more susceptible than anyone."

"Worry about your own people," Leiytning responded. "We're not the only people she doesn't like, and we have things under control."

Druitt cackled wickedly. "You're getting cocky, old devil, be careful what you say. It's a dangerous business you're involved in, and even if the sylphs were under control, I can tell the internal damage has gotten worse on your end. You're both crazy, already..." His laugh turned wheezy. "But I guess there's nothing not crazy in our world, right?"

"I knew he was unhinged," Leiytning muttered.

Druitt hobbled toward the exit. "I best be off, for now. Keep your eyes peeled, Lady Thundur..."

Meanwhile, Kita quickly retreated, hiding behind the boulder again. She curled up as small as she could and pressed herself against its cold surface.

'tap-clop...tap-clop...tap-clop...'

She heard that distinct, particularly menacing sound getting closer. The pound of Druitt's crutch, followed by his limping hooves against the stone ground.

Thankfully, he didn't stop, continuing off until he was out of earshot. Only then did Kita gain the nerve to peek over the stone. Sure enough, there was nothing, but it would be hard to tell in the darkness anyway.

She then heard Leiytning from the bottom of the slope. "You may enter now, mortal."

Relieved, Kita rushed toward the crystal garden, where both twins were waiting. Once she entered, she took a moment to look around.

"I never get tired of this view," Kita remarked. "It's no wonder you can afford informants."

"They're not just currency," said Thundur. "Most of the traded ones come from our reserves and Jem's magic."

"Jem makes crystals?" Asked Kita. "Huh, I guess it's in the name..."

Thundur continued, "It's a refined skill for earth elementals, but that's all they are; fancy rocks. However, where crystals grow naturally and uninterrupted, they develop natural magic that we can use for better purposes."

"Like the communication crystals?" Kita suggested.

"Communication, light sources, magic wards, barriers, even explosives. So on and so forth. Anyways, Leiyt, we still have work to do. There's vermin lurking."

"Druitt left, so that's one taken care of," said Leiytning.

The corner of Thundur's mouth twitched, which Kita guessed was some form of a smile.

"You just can't resist the opportunity to be a smartass, can you?" Thundur murmured. "Come on, we should find it before it finds us."

While the twins kept themselves busy, Kita couldn't help reflecting on the conversation she picked up.

She thought to herself, Corelia gaining magic supplies? What is she doing with them? Seyber told me sylphs only use magic for 'lackluster upgrades' on weapons, which could be taken in a bad way, but what if they're just using these resources for strategic purposes? Like the barriers and wards Thundur just mentioned. That'd be easy to misinterpret...

A chill crept down her spine.

Furthermore, what did that thing mean by 'gone savage,' talking about the twins? A larger-than-normal fight? What happened those thirteen moons ago?


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Sat May 04, 2024 3:23 am
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dragonight9 wrote a review...



Hi! Dragon back again for another review of this amazing story.

That upon which my dragon's eye fixed

"Maybe ask someone else," said Stud. "Even though Ginger and Splashy seem nicer,

I'm glad Stud is being reasonable here with the suggestion that the story may be false. Also, I love his name for Zim. Made me chuckle.

I like that Kita is becoming more aware of her own lack of ability to lie due to Leiytning's awareness of it. Also, this...
Zin laughed like a hyena, until Leiytning punched him.

Made me smile. Probably more than it should have.

"I know, I just didn't want to listen to you anymore," Leiytning muttered.

Zin laughed, Timbur facepalmed, and Thundur just smacked him with an annoyed expression. Meanwhile, Kita didn't know how to react.

This actually made me say "ohhh! burned!" While almost laughing out loud.

Thundur shot Kita a glare, then spoke the next part in demon tongue. Kita was just glad that the testy spirit-walker didn't catch onto the fact that she could hear them.

I'm glad you put this in as it does seem like this might be something they would want to keep secret.

I really liked the 'in the dark' section as well as another form of magic. I always enjoy seeing a softer side to the demons and it's rarity only makes the moments sweeter.

I liked the description of Druitt, and his personality was great. Reminds me of a small gang of arrogant demons Leiytning dispatched... and he doesn't seem much better.

I like how Kita is getting to see a darker side to the Zyreans as well as Corelia. I deepens the conflict in the most spicy way.

"Communication, light sources, magic wards, barriers, even explosives. So on and so forth. Anyways, Leiyt, we still have work to do. There's vermin lurking."

"Druitt left, so that's one taken care of," said Leiytning.

Love how you keep expanding the world in little bits and pieces. Also, I enjoyed this little bit of humor here.

I bet that fight thirteen moons ago was the prologue. Great to see how the demons gain the same info we as the readers just heard in the last chapter.

Some loose scales

Zin sighed, "Yup. At least this made somekind of sense though

I think 'somekind' is meant to be 'some kind' here.

Just a minor thing and all the rest was perfect!

As mighty wing soar overall

I'm so glad Kita is starting to take a few more risks, or at least feeling more comfortable with the routine. This showed in that she thought to clear her head by going on a mission. Though it may have been more important than it seemed for both of them to go.

The interactions in the cave fit perfectly and the new informant seemed like a typical demon. The info gained also pushed the story forward nicely.
All in all a great chapter!

Final wisdom of the scaled one

I am thoroughly enjoying the humor in these past few chapters. It really pushes your story to the next level of enjoyable in my eyes.

May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.




RavenAkuma says...


Yay, my humor isn't as cringe as I feared it was XD And thanks for catching that error.



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Mon Mar 18, 2024 3:47 pm
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Youbeaucupid wrote a review...



Image


Introduction:


SWOOSH! Greetings, lovely Rav! Cupid here, armed with my bow, arrow, and a sprinkle of stardust for an enchanting adventure. Today, I'm diving into the captivating world of reviews with my very own Cupid's Sweetheart Spotlight. It's like the incredible YWS S'more Method, but with a dash of cupid's magic! Let's get flying, shall we?

Fluttering Wings - Initial Impressions:

In this shadowed realm of demons and clandestine whispers, the atmosphere crackles with tension, leaving hearts pounding and pulses racing. From Kita's hesitant steps upon the colorless beach to the ominous echoes of cavern gossip, each scene is painted with a delicate brushstroke of anticipation. We are drawn into a world where every word is a step deeper into the unknown, where secrets lurk in the shadows and alliances hang by a thread~ (*spooky noises*)

Arrow Adjustments - Love Crafting Suggestions:

Within the cavernous depths of your story, there lies a treasure trove of opportunities to further enrich your reader's experiences. Consider delving deeper into character development, particularly regarding Kita's emotional journey and her interactions with the demons. Maybe expand on Kita's internal conflict regarding the revelations she hears about the war. Show her grappling with her emotions in a moment of solitude, perhaps through introspective monologues or vivid sensory details that reflect her inner turmoil. This will not only add depth to her character but also allow your readers to empathize with her struggles on a more personal level!

Furthermore, explore the dynamics between Kita and the trio, particularly focusing on their interactions during the mission. Dive into the nuances of their relationship, highlighting moments of tension, camaraderie, and mutual understanding. Show how their differing perspectives and backgrounds influence their interactions, adding layers to their characters and the overall narrative. I feel like his will create a much more immersive experience for your readers, as they witness the complexities of these relationships unfold in real-time. :D

Additionally, consider expanding on the world-building elements of your story, particularly regarding the demon society and their customs. Introduce more details about the demon hierarchy, cultural practices, and beliefs, painting a vivid picture of their world. Show how these aspects influence the characters' actions and decisions, adding depth to both the setting and the narrative. This will enrich the reader's understanding of the world you've created, making it feel more vibrant and immersive!

Of course, these are just suggestions for the future feel free to disregard my opinion however you'd like! But overall, this chapter of your tale' was amazingg! :)

Golden Harp Strumming - Heavenly Highlights:

Ah, yes. Let us bask in the radiant glow of the crystal garden, a shimmering oasis amidst the darkness of the cavernous depths! 🌟 Your masterful descriptions transport us effortlessly into this enchanting realm, where every facet of the garden gleams with otherworldly beauty. The delicate play of light upon the myriad crystals is rendered with exquisite detail, casting beautiful prismatic hues, and I'm here for it!✨

But it's not just the setting that captivates; your characters shine like stars against the backdrop of the crystal garden. Each one is imbued with a depth and complexity that resonates with your readers long after the final page is turned. From Kita's hesitant steps into the unknown to the enigmatic twins' terse exchanges, every interaction crackles with tension and intrigue. 🌹 And amidst it all, there's a subtle undercurrent of emotion that tugs at the heartstrings, reminding us that even in the darkest of times, love and connection endure. 💖

In this wondrous tapestry of storytelling, your prose sings with a melodic cadence that swept me away on a journey of discovery and wonder. 🎶 With each turn of the page, we are drawn deeper into a world where magic and mystery intertwine, where secrets lurk in the shadows and alliances are forged in the crucible of adversity. It's a testament to your storytelling prowess that we are left eagerly anticipating the next chapter, eager to unravel the secrets that lie hidden in the depths of the cavern. 📖✨

Cherished Verses - Cupid's Favorite Lines:

You just can't resist the opportunity to be a smartass, can you?" Thundur murmured. "Come on, we should find it before it finds us."


Why I loved it: Thundur's sass is on point here, and let's be real, who doesn't appreciate a good comeback? It adds a bit of spice to the scene and shows off her sharp wit, making her character even more awesome~! ✨

"You're getting cocky, old devil, be careful what you say. It's a dangerous business you're involved in, and even if the sylphs were under control, I can tell the internal damage has gotten worse on your end. You're both crazy, already..." His laugh turned wheezy. "But I guess there's nothing not crazy in our world, right?"


Why I loved it: Okay, I'm being so honest I love Druitt here, his dark humor adds a wonderful layer of intrigue to the conversation. Plus, who doesn't love a character who can mix wisdom with a bit of sarcasm??

"No more than usual," Thundur said almost tauntingly.


Why I loved it: Thundur's confidence is just, *chef's kiss* and I'm here for it! It's like she's daring anyone to challenge her, and it's low-key badass. 🔥

"Look who's talking," the red demon muttered.


Why I loved it: This line had me cracking up because it's such a classic retort. It's like the demon is throwing shade right back, and it adds a fun dynamic to the conversation!

Final Whispers - Closing Thoughts:

As we bid adieu to the cavernous depths and the whispers of intrigue, let's take a moment to savor the lingering afterglow of Chapter 29. Like a rollercoaster ride through the realms of suspense and revelation, this chapter left me breathless, craving more with each turn of the page. From Kita's daring escapades to the enigmatic banter of the twins, every moment is a pulse-pounding thrill ride that keeps us on the edge of our seats.

So let's raise our virtual glasses and toast to the author Rav, whose imagination knows no bounds, and whose storytelling prowess leaves us hungry for more. Here's to Chapter 29, a shining gem in the treasure trove of literature, and to the promise of many more adventures yet to come. May our hearts be ever captivated, our minds ever intrigued, and our spirits ever soaring as we journey onward through the pages of your enchanting tale. 🌟✨📖

Sending you all my love in heart-shaped arrows, Cupid! 💘




RavenAkuma says...


Your recommendations have been noted! Thank you for another lovely review, and I'm glad you enjoyed! :)



Youbeaucupid says...


Glad I could help! <3<3



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Thu Mar 14, 2024 1:57 pm
keeperofgaming wrote a review...



I love how the siblings can bicker wholeheartedly, it just shows how much they love each other.

When I smiled:

As I said, the siblings arguing added a wholesome aspect to the relationship. Plus Zin ragging on Timbur for his height was adorable. Then the teaspoon argument with us not knowing the sides was hilarious. This just added a massive wholesome side to the demons that we don't usually see.


I also like how they are slowly getting more used to Kita to the point where Thundur shows consideration, and Timbur doesn't try to kill her, just giving threats. Zin is also comfortable with her wandering, and Leiytning stands up for her and tells her where to stay to be safe.

I also find it really interesting that Corelia is gaining more equipment, going beyond her regular trading and interacting for Kita's sake, and yes, I know it's for her sake. She's planning on saving her. I really think Corelia is a kindhearted but ignorant person. She is so kind to Kita, but harsh to the demons. I can't wait to see her realization of Kita's sympathizing with the demons.

A Line to Remember:

"Zin sighed, 'Yup. At least this made somekind of sense though; last winter, they were arguing for almost two hours over whether a teaspoon was actually a teaspoon or not.'"

This added a playful aspect to the twins, allowing them to seem more human. It makes them far better characters, as they have more character. I can't wait to see them get more comfortable with Kita. I feel like when her demon stuff gets revealed, if that's correct, they'll fully trust her, and she'll be the bridge between mortals and demons, kinda like Elsa.

The Catalyst's Growth:

Kita is learning more and more about her B&B owners. The idea that there was a severely violent point that garnered the attention of other demon tribes is interesting. I also love that she wants to help as much as she can while also figuring it out herself.

It's also adorable that she's clearly getting more comfortable. I hope that that continues throughout the story, but I am kinda sad at the likeliness that one or more of the Zyrean's will die.

Actually, if you do plan on making her a half demon, killing, or fake killing, Seyber or Zin would be a perfect demon awakening for her. As she is closest to those two to the point that she admitted to Seyber that she isn't just some random civilian to the queen.




RavenAkuma says...


I am so shocked at how close one of these points is, it makes me think you're a wizard XD Again, for the sake of surprise, I won't say which one. But you're close ;)

Thanks for the awesome review, I'm glad you're enjoying! :)



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Tue Mar 12, 2024 9:24 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello yet again, friend!
I'm back to check out another one of your epic works!!

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Per my interpretation, this was an outstanding addition to your novel! I loved the additional information we learned in quite a sneaky way, and I really enjoyed all of the interactions between all of the characters!

Brief Summary:

Spoiler! :
Kita goes to talk to a few of the demons and ends up going on a mission with the twins. Everything's going fine, but it's a little too dark for Kita, so Thundur uses one of her powers to light the way. Eventually, they all make it to the crystal garden, but Kita's forced to hide behind a boulder while Thundur and Leiytning meet with a demon from another tribe. However, Kita eavesdrops on their conversation, finding out that Queen Corelia has started collecting magic supplies. Kita questions why this might be and what happened thirteen moons ago.

This was a fantastic plot, and I love how everything was revealed!


If I could offer any sort of advice, I simply wouldn't be able to... You nailed absolutely everything about this chapter!

I didn't find any spelling errors, grammatical errors, or anything wrong with the plot of this chapter, and there was nothing that really jumped out and confused me.

You did a great job with this one!! Keep doing what you're doing!


If I had to pick my favorite part, I would have to pick a couple! You did great work with this chapter, and I really want to point out some things that really seemed to pop while I was reading!

The first thing that caught my eye while reading was how well Kita is getting to understand Leiytning and his mannerisms. When Kita asked to go on a mission with the demons, she quickly understood Leiytning's reaction, even though he said nothing, showing how long she's been around them. You said,

The signs were subtle, but she was learning to spot them. It probably had more to do with her obvious uneasiness and uncertainty, rather than the statement itself.


I love this quote and how subtle the message behind it is! It really portrays how long Kita's been with the demons and how much she's learned about them during that time in a really great way, and it highlights how attentive Kita is! These were an awesome few sentences that show a lot of what Kita's taken in, so good job for writing them the way you did!

The other thing that really seemed to stand out to me while I was reading this wonderful chapter in all of its glory was the end! All of Kita's thoughts and the foreshadowing as to what might happen... beautiful!!! The ending was perfect, and I love all that it entailed! You said,
(sorry for the giant quote...)

She thought to herself, Corelia gaining magic supplies? What is she doing with them? Seyber told me sylphs only use magic for 'lackluster upgrades' on weapons, which could be taken in a bad way, but what if they're just using these resources for strategic purposes? Like the barriers and wards Thundur just mentioned. That'd be easy to misinterpret...

A chill crept down her spine.

Furthermore, what did that thing mean by 'gone savage,' talking about the twins? A larger-than-normal fight? What happened those thirteen moons ago?


Everything about this part was so fascinating... Not only did we get to see more of Kita's thought process, but we also got a brief rundown of exactly what is going on and what might happen. Also, all of Kita's own questions translate to the reader as well, as we also have no idea what's going on or what happened, and I love the way you put us on the edge of our seats! This was really well done and a phenomenal way to lead into the next chapter, so kudos to you for that!!


Overall, this was another phenomenal chapter, as they all are! You always seem to hit the nail right on the head... And that's exactly what you did here! I really enjoyed this chapter, and I can't wait to check out the next one!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!





Books give a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything
— Plato