*****

Provided you weren't directed here by the same poem...

There is a poem relating to the Witch, like a sort of excerpt, called "Beyond The Human Gaze." If you are interested in this piece, you can find it under the "Short Stories & Poetry" folder in my portfolio, or through the link below.

Regardless, I hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading!

Beyond The Human Gaze

Hiya RavenAkuma,

When I first finished reading your story, I wanted to write something, but at that time, I had just joined YWS and was still learning how to write reviews. Now that I have learned the “Big Book of YWS Codes”, and I decide to fill in the reviews I owe you.(●'◡'●)

At the beginning of the story, you described in detail the condition of the house:

The floors, far from pristine wood, were notorious for their creaks and groans during the changing seasons. All of the furnishings were from the past century and long since worn. From outside, the dark tiles of the sloped roof contrasted sharply against the pale bricks, as well as the windows outlined with brassy metal.

In a ring of slithering black snakes, the Witch was there, and she was a true monster. Against the white snow, her dirty skin stood out. Her only garb included tatters at the waist, and a necklace of bird skulls and their rotting wings. Her limbs, like withered branches, bent as if they had the ball joints of a doll. Her unnaturally long black locks, hanging over her face and shoulders like spilled ink, trailed in the snow. A circlet of thorny sprigs adorned her head, as if to mock the image of Christ. Yet in demonic fashion, horns sprouted from somewhere on her shrouded face, extending a bit before curving back sharply around her head. She was missing her fingertips, and in their place, the claws of a creature had been stitched on.

The Witch cocked her head toward me, and for the first time, I heard her speak. Her tone was surprisingly mellifluous, for a creature so twisted.

She lifted her goblet and asked, "Doth thou wish to be beautiful like me?"

We had found five large snakes scattered across the property, and though we thought one of them could be the culprit for the child's illness, we failed to find any bite marks.

Hiya RavenAkuma,

When I first finished reading your story, I wanted to write something, but at that time, I had just joined YWS and was still learning how to write reviews. Now that I have learned the “Big Book of YWS Codes”, and I decide to fill in the reviews I owe you.(●'◡'●)

At the beginning of the story, you described in detail the condition of the house:

The floors, far from pristine wood, were notorious for their creaks and groans during the changing seasons. All of the furnishings were from the past century and long since worn. From outside, the dark tiles of the sloped roof contrasted sharply against the pale bricks, as well as the windows outlined with brassy metal.

In a ring of slithering black snakes, the Witch was there, and she was a true monster. Against the white snow, her dirty skin stood out. Her only garb included tatters at the waist, and a necklace of bird skulls and their rotting wings. Her limbs, like withered branches, bent as if they had the ball joints of a doll. Her unnaturally long black locks, hanging over her face and shoulders like spilled ink, trailed in the snow. A circlet of thorny sprigs adorned her head, as if to mock the image of Christ. Yet in demonic fashion, horns sprouted from somewhere on her shrouded face, extending a bit before curving back sharply around her head. She was missing her fingertips, and in their place, the claws of a creature had been stitched on.

The Witch cocked her head toward me, and for the first time, I heard her speak. Her tone was surprisingly mellifluous, for a creature so twisted.

She lifted her goblet and asked, "Doth thou wish to be beautiful like me?"

We had found five large snakes scattered across the property, and though we thought one of them could be the culprit for the child's illness, we failed to find any bite marks.

It's a wonderful Cthulhu style novel, a little like the mixture of "Color Out of Space" and "The Outsider" by Lovecraft

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt I commence with the reviewing?

Top Graham Cracker - In a quaint little village, a witch roams, taking the innocent and leaving behind only black snakes in her wake.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow -I really liked this story! The only thing I’d point out is that when you mention the baby slept in the parents’ room “for now”. I assumed it was in past tense and I don’t think those words would fit. But if you think otherwise, then please ignore this.

Chocolate Bar - I liked the character of the Witch! I liked how she was described as a creature with a sweet voice, it brings a sense of magic to the air. I also liked how you described her movements, it was chilling to imagine her chasing the protagonist in the woods.

Closing Graham Cracker - A haunting tale of the unknown, with answers to questions that are afraid to be asked. I enjoyed reading this horror story. :>

I wish you a beautiful day/night!

Hello friend!
I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out.


Per my interpretation, this was absolutely amazing! This has to be one of the best short horrors I've ever read! It was truly suspenseful and offered a lot of grotesque and frightening imagery.

It follows the story of a young girl and her family, who live on a farm of sorts, and one day they notice a strange shrine in the woods, but when they go to investigate again, nothing is there. This is followed by people falling uncontrollably ill, livestock dying, and a lot of the food becoming unedible. And after all of that happens, they decide to leave, but not before the father and son decide to go after the witch and are met by a grim fate that cascades into a terrible turn of events.

This was a phenomenal plot! There were constant twists and turns, and the ending was truly one to be remembered!


If I could offer any sort of advice, I wouldn't! With this being one of the best things I've read so far on this website, I didn't notice anything I wanted to point out or recommend changing.

However, this was a bit longer. And that did discourage me at first. But as I kept reading, I kept getting sucked in, and it seemed to go by in a flash. But the mere fact that I saw it was long almost turned me away, and I just wanted to make that known. But I'm certainly glad I stayed!


If I had to pick my favorite part, I wouldn't be able to. And that's not a bad thing! There were so many good parts that, when you looked at them, they all came together to be the whole story. But for the sake of this review, I'll pick out a few really outstanding parts.

The way you set up the beginning of the story to be very ominous was quite enticing! You said a lot of things without giving away too much information or saying exactly what was going to happen in this story.

One quote that I really liked that was an example of this was:

The pace has changed since then, and I fear even my most stoic ancestors would struggle with this storm.

And of course, with the weather quickly growing colder, it seemed odd that snakes would still be about --especially types such as these.

They just watched and collected at these grim sites. Their amber eyes, like windows to the fires of Hell, were always fixed on one of us.

As it crawled across the ground with alarming speed and fluency, its bent limbs stuck out at an unnatural angle, and its hair trailed around it like a black paintbrush.

Her only garb included tatters at the waist and a necklace of bird skulls and their rotting wings. Her limbs, like withered branches, bent as if they had the ball joints of a doll. Her unnaturally long black locks, hanging over her face and shoulders like spilled ink, trailed in the snow. A circlet of thorny sprigs adorned her head, as if to mock the image of Christ. Yet in demonic fashion, horns sprouted from somewhere on her shrouded face, extending a bit before curving back sharply around her head. She was missing her fingertips, and in their place, the claws of a creature had been stitched on.

'Twere there, amid the trees. Methinks it 'twas the creature from last night.

She lifted her goblet and asked, "Doth thou wish to be beautiful like me?"