Published February 22, 2011
He was driving home together with his lovely wife and two adorable children, after visiting his parents for a Christmas dinner. Still in a state of shock, he thought about the moment when he was a young boy and had asked his mother about Santa. A feeling of betrayal had come over him when he had learned that Santa wasn’t real. Gazing towards the horizon, he saw capricious clouds forming above the moody mountain tops. Now, all puzzle pieces were falling together when he realized how he had always felt different from his younger brother and sister. How was it possible after forty years, that he had never had any suspicion; how they had hidden this from him so well? The message kept on echoing in his mind: “Your father ….
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140,994 Literary Works • 673,801 Reviews
I agree add to it. It has SOOOO much potential and it just ended. Like "I went to the." That was how it felt to me, the reader. I don't know if thats for everyone, but it was for me. It was really good besides that. Seriously though, PM me if you add to it. I would LOVE to read it!
Jenn
I think it's too short. I like the ending and all, but there's not enough metaphors or comparisons to really know what went down. Was the man illegitamate? Did his father have cancer? Did he cheat? What went on? It sounds good, but not enough dots were given to connect.
-but seriously, message me if you choose to edit it, it sounds awesome.