Guarding Earth

The little Earth boy knew he wanted to be a guard. His father was a guard, and his father before him, and his father before him. In fact, the family had founded the patrol.

Perhaps that was why all the other little children weren’t allowed to play with him.

Still, the boy wanted to be an Earth Guard. A observant, helpful, and awfully good guard. He would never be bossed around by a No Spirit. He wouldn’t even have to take orders from a Earth Person!

The little boy daydreamt on and on. He would be a hero! He would bring glory to his family, and respect the name of a Guard. He often laughed joyfully at his future while skipping along the well-worn dirt path he liked to think of as his patrol route.

He didn’t mind that he had no friends. His job was his life, even though it wasn’t real. As a Protected, every day he would devote to defeating ‘invaders’, often hungry squirrels and weak butterflies. That was what the real Guards did anyways, wasn’t it?

For a year before the Deciding, he took his ‘job’ seriously. Every day, he would grab a Weaver’s basket filled with old goat cheese and a slice of stale bread, just like the real Guards would. Before rushing out the door without his shoes, he would give his mother a peck on the cheek and leave before giving his mother a chance to protest.

“Gad!” She would say. Gad, which meant ‘guard’ in the language of the Earth Spirits, was what his father was called, and his father before him, and his father before him. Never had the prospect that he would not become one troubled him, though it did his mother. She believed that he should get a proper schooling should he turn out to be a No-Spirit. Although, before she could tell him to come back and get himself to Learning, he would be out on the fields and kicking up dirt. The Sowers would yell at him, of course, and throw whatever they had in their hands at him. This would usually be a spade or a shovel.

Thankfully, they were farmers, not javelin throwers. Usually Gad just laughed, continued on his merry, worry-free way.

The day before the Deciding, Gad worked even harder. He chased twenty moths and thirteen rabbits out of Earth territory. He thought it must have been a new record.

The next day, Gad raced over his path on the moor, daring the squirrels to show themselves. They didn’t.

Why? He asked himseld. Why do we have to wait for them to come here? Can’t we go and find them? Yes! They’ll all be out of the territory! Shall I go find them?

So, to keep the little furry mammals out of his territory, Gad decided he had to venture into theirs. And that was exactly what he did, so the day of the Deciding, the day Gad turned fifteen and was no longer a Protected, he ventured out for the first time beyond Earth Clan territory; into the uncharted land, the unknown. Any number of tribes could have been out there; nomadic Fire tribes, malevolent Water Dwellers, even not yet agricultural and completely uncivilized Earth fellows.

Unfortunately, he ran into the latter.

After following his path until it gave way to a flowery meadow, and then a lush green forest, he slowed and took a first step into the tall grass, laughing as the blades tickled his bare feet. Gad ran the rest of the way through the field, eager to chase the squirrels out of their own territory.

Then the soft meadow grass and moss stopped, and Gad screeched as a sharp needle poked his foot. Gad smiled, thinking pain was a good introduction to the huge wood that cast shadows on the meadow and made animalistic noises, but he grimaced as he picked his way into the forest. Relief flooded over him like a refreshing rain shower as he realized that the pain wasn’t as bad in the actual forest.

He crept softly over the ferns and waded through the leech-infested waters until he came upon a curtain of leaves. Somehow, he knew his fate lay before him. His heart beat fast, for never before had his sense of adventure shined so bright. He grinned, expecting a den of rabbits or a nest of birds, and quickly pulled the screen of greenery apart.

He never thought he would see an Other. In truth, he didn't actually think they existed. In his mind, the Earth Clan was alone. The world was small, and no one else inhabited it. The stories that the Elders told about the other Element People were just legends, and he had never given a thought to the exotic fruit, the intricate jewelry, or silky cloth that couldn't have come from his own settlement.

Gad stared into the violet, huge eyes of an Other girl who's expression of surprise mimicked his own, although it was so short Gad thought he must have imagined it. After the look had disappeared, her long arms flew to her belt and drew a dagger in such a fluid motion that Gad found that something had flown into his mouth.

When he coughed, her cold, crude dagger found its way to his neck, and her face formed into an awful snarl. Gad took a step back and, before he could register the hard ground that had risen up to meet him, the world became a sea of infinite black.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Random avatar
Ranne
Comment

Thanks for all the reviews! Okay, I get it, slow down. I did get rid of the beginning because that didn't have very much relevancy nor detail. Also, the titles will be very important later and will have more detail then. Do you think that'll be okay?

User avatar
fruityminyi
Review

This is a nice story but i have to admit that those in caps, i don't understand what they mean. Perhaps give some explanation when you add them in your story. And for the fighting part, make it longer if not you make the main lead seems so weak and describe how the creature that killed him. Describe more so that i can feel the horror in it. Otherwise, this is good and thanks for the great story :D

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GrantBlayfur
Review

Pretty good, but just a few complaints.

First and most importantly, it feels to me like you rushed the beginning of the story. You went from describing (in a startling low amount of detail) the different 'positions', to the boy running by the Farmers, to getting attacked by the girl. My first piece of advice - slow your jets! A detailed but slow intro is much more appealing than a rushed intro that ends in an action-y cliffhanger.

Second, there were some small grammer mistakes and what-not throughout. Just read through and I'm sure you can catch most of 'em.

Third, and this is probably a personal thing: too many...ah, what's the word? Proper titles? Sure, that. Farmers, Sowers, Guards, Warriors, Jailers, Person, Choosing, Weaver, Spirits...it's a lot to cram into a first chapter! This also goes hand-in-hand with my first suggestion to slow down.

Anyway, nice start! I would definetly like to read more!

- G



The best books... are those that tell you what you know already.
— George Orwell, 1984