Are you done yet?
See, cause you haven't taken a breath in some time now,
your run-on sentences are becoming embarrassing
And by god your language, awfully harsh
This happened because I said no.
That I had enough.
That I no longer wish to be belittled for walking a path vaguer than the rest
That I decided I didn't want to settle on waking up and hating every day
That I said, no.
But I suppose that on me, right? I should've just shut up and dealt with it, right?
I'll admit I was quick to act,
that perhaps I could've thought on it more,
that to walk through the dandelions I must tread on a few.
But that path, cannot be walked on with fear.
To leave you,
to walk away,
to say no,
I must not hesitate.
So yes, you will only get a nod and smile,
You won't get a sorry,
I am not grateful for your attempt at, "preparing me for the future,"
Because the future you describe is one I refuse to live.
I deserve better than that.
I deserve to be loved.
I deserve to be cared for.
I deserve, to be fucking appreciated.
And don't you dare tell me what I can or can't do.
You're a hypocrite and a half, so you're words will be left on the pile of shit you call "arguments,"
No, I am not smug, this is reasonable,
No, I don't think I'm being clever, if I was clever I would've walked away sooner-
Oh, you hate me? I'm shocked.
I jest, for a while I thought this was love.
Thank fucking god I was wrong.
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139,253 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Hey friend! I discovered this lovely poem of yours, and I thought that I would stop by for a quick review. Thanks so much for posting this! Let's jump right into the review:
You describe some really powerful emotions. It seems like this person has hurt you a lot. They haven't stopped harassing you in anyway. They seem to go on forever, almost with these run-on sentences of hatred. I really love the way that you wrote this. It was in a very, interesting way, which felt like it was a letter written to this person, but also a personal reflection of your own. For example, and the very last sentence when you say that you're grateful that you were wrong about them. You describe it in a brutally, honest way, which I really like. I say, that's probably what I love the most about this piece, the tone that you used to describe and be honest. As well as the cool formatting of it.
You have such a casual tone in this. For example, we see a lot of sarcasm here, when you say that you are "shocked" at this person's hatred. Even though I assume that you were actually very familiar with it. This feels a lot like a vent. Like you're just letting out your emotions into a poem, but it actually turned into a fantastic poem, which I really enjoyed to read. I applaud you for your ability to create this poem, filled with honesty and also something that I connect to deeply. Fantastic work on this! I look forward to reading more of your poetry. Have a wonderful day!
your friend,
Ellie
I love how harsh this is. You can tell it was truly written with raw emotion.
It's horrible that people treat others like this. Even I had a situation like this. I was never so grateful to get away until I realized there wasn't an ounce of "truth" in them. Let alone love.
I like how you repeated the word "No." It showed that no matter what your brain was trying to convince your heart about that person was false. Your heart couldn't handle it anymore and it was time to go. Good riddance for that.
Your affirmations to yourself are honest and perhaps even exasperated. You are so fed up with this person not treating you right, when you know that there are so many other people in the world that would treat you so much better.
I actually wrote this right after I quit working for my uncle, he was verbally abusive and berated me right after I quit. I was just pent up with so many emotions that this was the result. Im really pleased you like it! And Im glad you appreciate it as this one has a particular meaning for me. Thank you for your kind words!
I hate that you had to deal with this. I am glad that you left that situation. Also, I completely understand what you mean by just spilling out your emotions into words. I hope that you are and will be alright!
Brutal and precise. This perfectly echoes the level of anger that you should have at a toxic person.
The Wrath that you would feel would be immense. This enables you to see the darkness of the person you spoke to.
Love is a fickle thing, you can think you understand it and the next moment realize that you were incorrect. I love how this exemplifies that.
I personally have never been in this situation, but I know people who have. They had to fight through it, and they did pretty well.
People that make this behavior necessary are pests, and standing up to them is admirable.
Thank you for posting this. I quite enjoyed reading it.
Omg the amount of times I’ve been through this…haha. I don’t trust me now and when I do I have the habit of opening up completely and then living everyday scared of when they might hurt me or betray me. I know how this feels and the pure emotion in this short piece is like my heart jumped out onto the page. At times, I feel like I ask for too much but they don’t listen. So, I understand exactly how this feels. And we have to stand up for ourselves. Those people aren’t gonna be there for our whole lives but our sadness will be, let’s not waste our emotions on those type of people!
So glad you foudn your way out of those toxic situations. We're all worth more then a life of being held hostage in an unhealthy relationship. Im really happy this poem meant something to you as it does to me, I wish you well kind stranger! <3
Thank you! Same to you:D
Your poem has touched my heart. You know, I've been through this situation...uno online
Im so sorry you've been in this situation before its so hard, and even harder to walk away. I hope you're got out of it and are in a better place <3
Wow, let me be the first to say—I absolutely loved your poem! The raw emotion and strength behind each word were incredibly powerful. It spoke to the courage of standing up for oneself and refusing to settle for less. Keep writing, seriously. Your words are an inspiration to all of us writers.
- Cupid 💘
Oh my gosh <3 You're so sweet. Thank you. That's the nicest thing I've ever heard about my writing. God bless you my friend.