Hey friend! I discovered this lovely poem of yours, and I thought that I would stop by for a quick review. Thanks so much for posting this! Let's jump right into the review:
Are you done yet?
See, cause you haven't taken a breath in some time now,
your run-on sentences are becoming embarrassing
And by god your language, awfully harsh
This happened because I said no.
That I had enough.
You describe some really powerful emotions. It seems like this person has hurt you a lot. They haven't stopped harassing you in anyway. They seem to go on forever, almost with these run-on sentences of hatred. I really love the way that you wrote this. It was in a very, interesting way, which felt like it was a letter written to this person, but also a personal reflection of your own. For example, and the very last sentence when you say that you're grateful that you were wrong about them. You describe it in a brutally, honest way, which I really like. I say, that's probably what I love the most about this piece, the tone that you used to describe and be honest. As well as the cool formatting of it.
And don't you dare tell me what I can or can't do.
You're a hypocrite and a half, so you're words will be left on the pile of shit you call "arguments,"
No, I am not smug, this is reasonable,
No, I don't think I'm being clever, if I was clever I would've walked away sooner-
Oh, you hate me? I'm shocked.
You have such a casual tone in this. For example, we see a lot of sarcasm here, when you say that you are "shocked" at this person's hatred. Even though I assume that you were actually very familiar with it. This feels a lot like a vent. Like you're just letting out your emotions into a poem, but it actually turned into a fantastic poem, which I really enjoyed to read. I applaud you for your ability to create this poem, filled with honesty and also something that I connect to deeply. Fantastic work on this! I look forward to reading more of your poetry. Have a wonderful day!
your friend,
Ellie
Points: 67555
Reviews: 674
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