little thought carries
dreams
a forgotten gray
mystery
of hope glazed
with ambition
in a white
world
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Alright, this is going to be quite short, because this is a short poem, so, let's begin.
I have the problem, it's irritating me that you don't have a capital letter at the start of each stanza, just pointing that out first.
I'll do a line by line review because it's so small.
little thought carries
dreams
Do you mean that something little can be somebody's life goal? Or maybe it could be something so little, but it inspires people, and is their dream, even if it is simple.
a forgotten gray
mystery
I have to point out, you use grey in the title, but gray in the poem, pick which one you want to use. I don't really know what this means, it's just so mysterious.
of hope glazed
with ambition
I like this line, when some people have hope for a dream, they become ambitious and want to do big things in life.
in a white
world
I don't get what you mean by "In a white world."
This poem is just, mysterious, and that's what makes it so good, it's mysterious.
Thanks, I like your interpretation of the poem, what I love about poetry and literature is that you can get so many meanings out of one line, yours was similar to mine. 'White world' is the world around us that is so clear, and no one can quite figure out how to get that dream.
The 'grey' or 'gray' thing was probably a typo; I sometimes misread my handwriting when typing up, then typed it properly in the title -thanks for pointing that out (no one had spotted it.)
Random Columns
hey, i really like this,is it your style to always write like this? its really cool, im more of a short story writer. I'm always so fascinated by how poets come up with their minds work. how do you come up with your poems? I've also always wondered do you think about the topic before writing it or does it just flow?
would love to hear back from you, thanks
Hi,
Thanks, I don't always wright like that, it was just a thing that I wrote in English.
RandomColumns
Hello, there, RandomColumns! racket here to review this poem!
Well, firstly, I like how short this is, especially with how much meaning it carries at the same time.
I can't pretend to know what this poem is trying to tell us; it's too opaque and misty. This feels like, to me, a poem that will be read in English classes all over the world in a hundred years or so, with teachers trying to drag something extremely deep out of it and poor children begging for mercy. I like that, especially because I get to be the first to speculate.
I am trying to figure out what each of these stanzas stand for. Good job! You made a nice little mysterious poem, which fits the name.
The first and last stanzas are confusing me, in both good ways and bad. You always want these seemingly deep poems (I don't know if it is or not) to be a bit mysterious and to require some deep thought to figure out. I'll just ask questions. Does the first stanza
mean that, if one does not think much, they'll have dreams? Or that tiny thoughts, subconscious thoughts, create dreams? This may be the only negative part in this poem. You want to be able to figure out the questions, just not always the answers. The question here is a bit confusing.
This is nice! It's a kind of segway from the first stanza, or at least it's connected nicely. Is this little forgotten mystery the result of little thought? A dream? *raises eyebrows*
There's hope in the thought of this mystery! Maybe they can solve the forgotten mystery!
I don't know what the white of the world is here. Is it....kind of like a fog that glazes over people's speculations? Or is it just poetic? Oh, the mystery!!!
Grammar stuff now.
Well, each first letter of each line should be capitalized. You probably need some commas at the end of each stanza, but I think it also works find the way it is. Some punctuation might be nice, though. Also, you need a period at the end.
That's it! Good job! Did I interpret this right? If I didn't, don't be offended, this is still a great poem! Thanks for letting me review this! Keep writing!
~racket
Hi,
You pretty much hit the nail on the head. It's about dreams and how they can't always be clear; which is represented by 'white' being clear, and 'grey'being unclear.
The grammar is correct for the style of the poem -poetry is what you can get away with in grammar- look up The Red Wheel Barrow by William Carlos Williams.
RandomColumns
Ok! Thanks for writing.