Ill by RandomCollumns — Poetry | Young Writers Society

Snazzy

Review

Snazzy wrote a review Review · Dec 28, 2014

Hello!
This is really funny! I could only find a couple of nitpicks in this!

"Groan! I wish that I could go to school..."
I think Groan, should be italicized.

"I'm bored" This should either be-
"I'm bored."
or
"I'm bored..."

Other than that, this was well written! I like the spellcheck thing, very funny! Great job, and keep writing!!
~Snazzy
Stay Awesome

Eldritch

Review

Eldritch wrote a review Review · Dec 10, 2014

Hello RandomCollumns!

the title of your poem, i was bit curious to read it when i first saw it, at the first sight, i thought, it was something named "I11" funny, no?

It's strange that, right now I'm in the same condition, partly same. my final exams are over, so, my school life's officially over, as I'm currently in the 12th grade so, teachers calling us at school often but, no classes, just some notices are being given, I'm roaming around, coming back home. For the second or third time ever in my life, I'm missing the school-classes. i see the kids out there are enjoying the class and someone being punished, teachers screaming and I just see and walk away. *SIGH*

So, again, nice poem. at my place as well, it's freaking cold and i literally hate this. I'm going to let my bro read your poem, he's totally at this situation right now, he's got fever and today he wasn't able to got to school and the whole day he's spending cursing the fever!

And, loved the " -SNEEZE- " thing! XD

Good use of punctuations, nice format and good writing!

I totally loved it!

~Min

RandomCollumns

RandomCollumns replied · Dec 10, 2014

Thanks, I live in the UK, and most of our weather is just playing up to it's stereotype with no snow! It does seem like everyone I know has the cold/ flu, most of my friends are off school, and I only just got back today... plus Dad has the flu now as well *sarcastic yay*
Hope your brother gets better soon,
Random Columns

Eldritch

Eldritch replied · Dec 11, 2014

Thank you, best of luck to you too ^^

Collideascope

Review

Collideascope wrote a review Review · Dec 9, 2014

Hey,

I was a bit worried when I first glanced at this poem, I admit. I feel like not a lot of heart went into this poem, and it kinda makes me sad. But at the same time I really enjoyed this poem and connected with it because at the moment I am sick, but sadly went to school because I'm stubborn. Which led me here fifth period reviewing your poem. Moving on, as far as nitpicks go I haven't a lot to complain about. I imagine most of the spelling errors were intentional to get your point across. My biggest issue is when you did things like this

-sneeze-

Normally things like that would be written like this *Sneeze* I don't know why, but to me it makes the whole thing flow a lot more smoothly. And the -dammit- really confused me. I imagine it's ment to be a kind of side comment but it just doesn't really fit in with the rest of the poem. Aside from those minor details however, I found your poem really fun to read. It has a humorous side which I really needed right now, so thanks for that. I hope you find something entertaining soon! Keep writing!
Sincerely,
Collideascope

RandomCollumns

RandomCollumns replied · Dec 9, 2014

Thanks, I wrote this half heartedly.
Random Columns

AudreyMarie

Review

AudreyMarie wrote a review Review · Dec 9, 2014

I assume you intentionally put "sailing" instead of "saying" in the first line of the second stanza in which I found that very clever! I really enjoyed your poem. It had a great active voice and had interesting flares to it. Although I disagree with wanting to go to school, haha trust me it's not too exciting :p But I hope you can get back in to the swing of things soon! Keep writing I really liked it!!