As she lies here watching the darkness surround her-
unwanted thoughts enter her mind.
Thoughts of her fear.
She's always feared of being forgotten.
completely forgotten.
Through out her life-
She's watched everyone from the sidelines.
Already being proved that-
her existence meant nothing.
Her classmates didn't even know she was a classmate.
Her teachers never noticed a student went missing-
if she was gone for more than a week from being ill.
Even her family showed that her existence-
meant nothing to them.
She could tolerate it from her classmates-
even from society.
But when her family did it, her soul was shattered.
If she was noticed she was only bullied or used.
At one point in her life-
It got to be too much-
She tried to end her life but couldn't after all.
After that incident she tried to change her life-
by gaining everyone's respect.
well, The outcome was worse than-
how it was in the beginning.
opening up destroyed her completely.
She decided to bare with the loneliness.
As she did she some how gained friends.
Those so called friends screwed her over.
She hasn't been able to trust them again.
She can't-
The darkness became too strong within her heart.
The darkness became her home.
She always thinks-
what's the point of trying to produce any type of relationship with anyone-
when I have a shattered soul?
What can you do with a shattered soul?
In her mind you can't do anything with a shattered soul-
But exist amongst the creatures of darkness.
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125,010 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
I definitely love this poem! I have a friend who can relate to this and since, this poem is very much alike him. I showed it to him and, wow. You just made my friend cry. This poem is really relatable to the ones who are being neglected by society and their parents! This is really a fantastic poem! I love on how sorrow, agony, loneliness, depression and darkness are reflecting itself throughout the poem. It's more like a poem made by a broken child.
It's really amazing, outstanding, fascinating, relatable, amusing and tear-breaking! I wish this poem can get published and go worldwide because a lot of people should read this and think about life. I mean really, This made me think about everything. These are the kind of poems that I love to read and is expecting in every poetry section. I really like it! Keep up the good work! Keep writing!
Thank you for talking the time to read it. I hope things go well for your friend. I wrote this because I've been dealing with it since I was little and still am. i just tolerate it now though. Thank you again though!
Wow. The feelings you described in this poem was extraordinary, and they way your formatted the poem worked perfectly for it's theme. I can't imagine telling a story like this any other way.
Delete the of.I want to thank you for sharing this. It can be difficult to share works like these, but there are people out there who need to hear them. You'll never know how your words can impact other people. That being said, I do have a few comments.
There were a few phrases that were a little awkward and that I think need to be reworded. the problem was the rest of the poem was so good, these lines ending up standing out, just because they didn't quite fit. I'll list them here.
This just feels a little weird, how do you like, "Already proving that," or "Already proving?"
Consider taking with out of this line, though maybe you don't want to, and that's fine. it is your poem after all.
Did you purposefully make among st, two words? if not, consider making them one word, as that lone st, trips me up.
And that's all I got. notice my only feedback was removing a word here or there? That shows it was truly an amazing piece.
My laptop automatically made among st and lone st like that. not sure why but I've been trying to fix it. Thank you though for taking the time to read it.
I just wanted to say that this is really good. I have never had anything happen like this before in my life, but the way you wrote this really kind of made me connect. It really puts a light on what people have to go through each day, and it brings a new awareness to anyone who reads this. You did a really good job pointing this out. Good job!
Thank you for taking the time to read it I've always had this problem and can't seem to fix the pain that it causes. But when I see other people have the same problem it's not hard to conversate with them and give them advice. I just haven't been able to get over this fear. I'm glad that it made you connect though.
Hi, I'm Howl.
I know how all this feels, cause I've been through it. I'm still going through it but if it means anything to you, I'm hear if you ever want to talk. I know it doesn't always help, but it's a try. This poem was lovely and it shows people how some people feel, which, we all have to admit, may help society understand. I am glad that someone could put it into great words as you did, but there are a few grammar errors and few patches that could be better. Amongst has a space in the middle, and there are a few letters that are capitalized in the middle of sentences. Other than those two things your poem is fantastic.
Thank you for taking the time to read it. You are also welcome to talk to me anytime you want or need to.
Thank you
lol