My first poem on this website! :)

Hey Rainy685! Saruka here to review your poem! Let's jump right in!
I related to this poem very well, as you can probably tell from all my works. It makes you feel, (or maybe it's just me) and it leaves you feeling a bit depressed, which I'm guessing was the aim, which is fine. It's great, to, that you were able to convey that emotion.
Now to be picky. The form was in a paragraph, which is odd and often unused in poetry. I feel as if it would flow better if structured into stanzas and lines.

I've seen my mothers scars.

But the pain so terrible.

I'm tired of the wheel chair.

All I want is happiness and to hang out with my friends.

The only thing I have, is my words

The things you want to express through this piece of writing is beautiful. People who are suicidal can really relate to this. But the structure of this poem is not what we call a 'poem'. You can rewrite this and make it into a creative article.
Or maybe you can just work on the structure of your text. While you're working on that, you might wanna try metaphors and just don't present things in a straight forward way.
That was a nice one. So, don't lose hope and keep on writing. Good luck!

Hi there Rainy, and welcome to YWS! It's wonderful to have new faces around.

This is a very serious topic, and one I can relate to. I think that your subject matter is a good starting point.

That being said, I have to agree with some of my previous reviewers. I feel like this piece could do with a bit of reworking. While I understand your sentiment, this isn't much different from an email or a text message to a friend. There's one instance of rhyme here, and a tiny bit of repetition, but that doesn't make a poem.

Literary devices make a poem, along with heartfelt intent. You've got the intent. Now you just need to add more of the technical stuff!

I really like this image and the devices in it.


Another quick thing that I'd like to add is that the title line for your poem could be something else. Most people would put what you put as the title in the description of the poem.

Titling a poem can be hard, though, I understand. Sometimes I like to use a line from the poem as the title, or a single word that sums up the feelings I'm trying to get across. Perhaps "my words" would work better for a title here. Though that is up to you, as you're the author.

I hope that this review proves useful to you! Let me know if you have any questions about it or the site. Welcome, again, to YWS, and I hope to see you around again. Happy writing!

Hey, here for a review!

Since this is your first poem on here, it's not bad at all, though I do have some suggestions and things that could maybe help!

The first thing is formatting. You can make stanzas or even just separate lines; for this poem was kind of hard to read since it looked like a paragraph of words. Like Midnightmoon said below and the way she had her stanzas set up for you, it would really help with grouping ideas like scars and pain, then to the medications and feelings.

Next thing I want to touch on is your first two lines and then the "separate rest of the poem",
here

Have you every thought to harm yourself and take away the pain? To take a blade and slice away till you make a stain?

I can definitely relate. The one thing I think would make this better is if you did it in sections. it makes it easier to read. Like this;

"Have you every thought to harm yourself,
And take away the pain?

To take a blade and slice away till you make a stain?
I have.
I've seen the documentaries,
I've seen my mothers scars.

I don't want to do it.
But the pain is so terrible.
I'm tired of medications,
I'm tired of the wheel chair.

All I want is happiness and to hang out with my friends.
But all I can do is sit here and write poems.
The only thing I have,
Is my words."

I think it makes it easier to read. I like the simplicity of this poem.

If you want a really awesome, helpful review , @PrincessInk is very good at reviews.

To get her, you can go to the green room and hit "Request a review." Browse and you'll find her under "Hummingbird wants to review" or something like that. Read what she has to say and see what you think. .

I hope this was at least slightly helpful.
Midnightmoon.