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The Fly

by RainbowRequiem


The Fly

M. Gene McCoy

I sat alone in the center of my quiet room. There wasn’t anything in it except for me, looking at the blank, white walls. They were all I needed.

One day, as I was sitting in my room, I heard a faint buzzing. Confused, I looked around to try and find where it was coming from and I noticed a fly flitting in the corner. I never figured out how he got in, because I never open my window, but it didn’t bother me too much then. He seemed harmless, so I didn’t try and kill him. I thought he’d eventually leave, so I ignored him at first.

He didn’t leave. After a few days, the buzzing was getting to me. When I couldn’t ignore it anymore, I brought a radio into my room. I hoped the music would drown him out and I wouldn’t be able to hear him. The sounds surrounded me and enveloped the room, replacing the sound of the fly entirely. The music helped for maybe a week, but eventually I heard the fly and his buzzing through it and I turned it off. There wasn't a point in keeping it on and the unnecessary sounds only made me worse.

After another few days, I decided to try to paint the walls of my room yellow and pink. I thought that the bright colors would make me forget that the fly even existed, and I could continue my life without worrying about him. For about a month I was the happiest I’d ever been. The new and fantastic colors changed how I looked at everything. Eventually, though, the colors faded. Their bright passions returning to nothings. I’d stare and concentrate for hours, but they didn’t have the same effect. When they became dull I heard the fly again, and his buzzing was even louder than before. I started to lose hope.

Eventually, the fly made me angry. His constant buzzing was pushing me to the edge. After a few more days, I broke. I began to scream and rampage around my room, but no matter what I did I heard him. I chased him down and tried to kill him, slapping and hitting the air he flew in. I couldn't hit him. He then landed on my wall, mocking me. He made me so enraged that I punched my wall as hard as I could, leaving a hole. I missed. In that instant, I didn’t hear the fly. I didn’t feel the pain in my hand. All I could do was look in horror at my wall and at the hole I had made. The once beautiful array of yellow and pink was broken. After truly realizing what I’d done. I collapsed and crawled back to the center of my room where I laid down and cried myself to sleep to the sound of the fly and the pain of guilt buzzing in my mind.

When I woke up, nothing had changed. I don't know how long I'd slept. Everything around me, including time, seemed beyond my grasp. The hole was still there and the fly buzzed endlessly all around me. After another period of sulking, I decided to do something I’d never done before; something that terrified me. I got up and began to slowly walk towards my window. My legs trembled and I could feel myself start to cry again as I came nearer towards it. Every now and then I would look outside through it, admire what was outside, but I’d never done this. I was finally in front of it. I unlocked it, took a deep breath, and lifted.

The feeling of everything leaving me took me by surprise. It felt like I could breathe for the first time, and I could feel the fly leave through my window. My window was only open for a few seconds, but after what felt like a lifetime, I slammed it shut and locked it again. It was over. The fly was gone. It felt like I had fixed everything. I smiled and turned around, only to see the whole in my wall was still there, and could never be fixed. I looked back outside and saw the fly by my window, peering into his former home. He was wanting to come back in, and I didn't know if I could fully prevent that. At least I had my room to myself again, different than it was before.


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28 Reviews

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Mon May 14, 2018 8:39 am
HollyM64 wrote a review...



This was really good! I like the writing style, the structure was good and the descriptions were excellent. The gradual build up and sudden calm were very effective and you managed to write the nagging feeling of annoyance very well. While there were a few small grammar and spelling mistakes, they were minor and infrequent. Overall, this was a really good little short!




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Mon May 14, 2018 7:21 am
SnowGhost says...



I enjoyed this, it took an interesting twist.
I also hate flys with my whole soul, and I was so relieved when the person opened the window to let it out. Ugh I even cringe at just reading about a fly buzzing around.




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Mon May 14, 2018 5:06 am
LadyOkra wrote a review...



Hello there!

Some suggestions:

After truly realizing what I’d done. I collapsed and crawled back to the center of my room where I laid down and cried myself to sleep to the sound of the fly and the pain of guilt buzzing in my mind.


After truly realizing what I’d done, I collapsed and crawled back to the center of my room...

I smiled and turned around, only to see the whole in my wall was still there, and could never be fixed.


It should be hole.

-

I like the story! The fly, I suppose, is a representation of all the problems that we choose not to face in our life. Instead, we meander around the problem and try to fix it in other ways, which sooner or later wreaks havoc on our life, like the hole in the wall. The only way we can get rid of the problem is to face our fear of facing the problem. :)

I think this is a wonderful story. It is well-written. The sentences are nicely constructed and convey their meanings clearly. I would suggest paragraph breaks for some added effect.

For instance:

He then landed on my wall, mocking me. He made me so enraged that I punched my wall as hard as I could, leaving a hole. I missed. In that instant, I didn’t hear the fly. I didn’t feel the pain in my hand. All I could do was look in horror at my wall and at the hole I had made.


He then landed on my wall, mocking me. He made me so enraged that I punched my wall as hard as I could, leaving a hole.

I missed.

In that instant, I didn’t hear the fly. I didn’t feel the pain in my hand. All I could do was look in horror at my wall and at the hole I had made.

I hope you write more.

Cheers!




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15 Reviews

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Mon May 14, 2018 1:48 am
Banana25 says...



I really like this! I love how you showed the character try to cope with something that was annoying them. I think at some points, you could break up your paragraphs some more, but it's not a big deal for now. This is really neat and I would love to read more like it. Keep up the good writing!




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Sat May 12, 2018 11:12 pm
RainbowRequiem says...







The important thing is never to stop questioning.
— Albert Einstein