Published June 22, 2009
I was soooo bored and the traffic jam was sooooo long.
Have you tried my Urchin stew?
I made it specially for you,
I plucked the lad from off the street,
I promise you he tastes a treat.
I boiled him up real nice and high,
There's still some left for Urchin Pie.
Ensure you eat the balanced way;
A bowl of Urchin every day!
As long as we live mortal lives
Heaven we'll not see
But Waitrose's toffee sundae
Is as close as man can be.
I know for a fact I don't want to be dead,
But I love the calm beauty of requiem.
How I love to watch aeroplanes fly overhead;
But oh, how I loathe to be in them.
That man in the car next to ours
Just picked his nose and ate it.
We've all been stuck here for hours and hours
My own hunger has passed mortal powers
But as I watch on as his snot he devours
I'm thinking; what a horrible git.
O Woe for the colour of nylon
we must go and buy some dylon!
and turn my shoe
a nice shade of blue
and then we can all have a pile - on.
(last line courtesy of Hannah, evie's sister)
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!!! I cannot believe I forgot!! xxxx
well what outstandingly splendid creations are these!
but I would like to add that you missed off an important one, which althougth was not composed on the M25, deserves a place here.
O Woe for the colour of nylon
we must go and buy some dylon!
and turn my shoe
a nice shade of blue
and then we can all have a pile - on.
hehe
(last line courtesy of Hannah, evie's sister)
love from me
Dear Raimunda,
These are really quite lovely. As nonsensical as ever I could have hoped.
The first three near perfection. I guess I could nitpick and ask, what does it mean to "boil high"? And the punctuation in the first one seems a little off. I'll give you some advice that someone on here once gave me: write it out as if it were prose, punctuate it correctly, and put it back in poem form.
The last poem, though, I think is quite off in rhythm, especially in the last three lines. "But as I watch on as his snot he devours" is confusing & requires a second glance to decipher. Also, your use of the semicolon in the last line is incorrect. I believe you need a plain ole colon.
Very enjoyable.
Sincerely,
Rachel